Diagnosis

Well the bloodwork came back and my doctor informed me that I have severe hyperthyroidism. Everything else looked relatively ok compared to that. This isn't good news, but it's news at least, and I'm happy to know it so I can start having it treated. They're going to try getting me into a doctor ASAP, so maybe I can start getting well. Thank you for your well wishes and positive energy. :) I'll keep you updated.

GI Joe says...

Health update:

Today I went to my GI doc. I was kind of excited because I have felt like I've been making some progress, but he wasn't so convinced, so he kind of deflated my balloon. He was upset about my weight and general appearance, and has ordered a bunch of blood work for me to have done tomorrow (prayers please!). I'm being tested for anemia, B12 deficiency, some mal-absorption issues, low thyroid and my liver enzyme count. I haven't had that done in 2 and a half months so I'm interested to see what it says.

Anyway, it's still two steps forward, one back. I've been eating more this week so I'm happy about that. Keep praying for me, please. Sometimes it's easy to lose hope. Love to you all!

Lucky duck

So, given my vast amounts of time to think combined with my own life observations and experiences, I have come to a conclusion. I believe there is such a thing as luck. Some people have good luck and some people have bad luck, and it can vary throughout life. I don't care if this isn't popular theology. I don't care. :::ppppphhhhhsssssssttttt::: :) I swear sometimes I've turned into one of those 85 year old women who doesn't care what anyone else thinks. I'm sick and onery, dangit! Heehee!

Also speaking of theology I'm having trouble swallowing (and probably related), more and more I am turned off by the way people use the word "blessed." Here are some examples and my commentary:

• "Oooh! The tornado didn't hit my house! I am so blessed!" Yeah, so what about your neighbor whose house was smashed? They weren't chosen by God for your special blessings?
• "I'm sure God will bless you with healing very soon." So... if I'm not healed I'm not blessed by God?
  
• (on the Amazing Race) "God, please bless us and help us get to the next pit stop before the other teams." Okay, so you winning has nothing to do with your own and others' ability to read a map or by sheer luck?
  

I'm sure this is probably an age old struggle that many have felt, but now I'm feeling it and it's my blog and I need to vent it out. We... we being our society or modern Christianity or America or whoever... equates blessings with happiness. I think that's pretty stupid. Would we call Jesus' ministry "unblessed" because he had a rather rough going of it? There's a great Caedmon's Call line that says, "But I get turned around/ I mistake some happiness for blessing/ But I'm blessed as the poor/ Still I judge success by how I'm dressing." (Faith My Eyes)

I'm not coming down on people who say things like "God bless you." A sincere one of those always means a lot. But ya never know what you're asking for when you say it. :)

Conversation Snippet of the Day:

Ann: oh, i still think God is good, i just don't think that means we get good lives (necessarily).

Meredith: oh definitely not. our lives on earth are pretty much crappiness incarnated.

I Heart Brazil

Today I had a pouty, pouty day. I was in a bad mood all day until my mommy made me a cheesecake. Then I was happy. But then I was made happier by a great conversation with an "old friend," and we got to reminiscing about some fun times we had on the great continent of South America. Those who have read the blog for long or know me well know that I love love love Brazil. I've been three times and it really captured my heart.

To try to get me optimistic about life in general lately some people have suggested that I start thinking about plans for the future. Maybe, just maybe, the doors will open up for me to go to Brazil again. I don't know. I have lots of things that have to happen before I can think about that. But who knows. Maybe God puts these fires in your heart for a reason. You can bet I'll keep my eyes open.

Now, here is a photo tribute to my wonderful mission teams I've been to Brazil with. I dearly love every one (even helped one get married!) and they will always be precious to me.


LST 2001-- Aaron, Ben, Ann, Meredith
Click here to read a story that may or may not be about this team.


LST 2002-- Bob, Cherry, some hairy guy, Ann


Campaign 2004-- Ann, Cherry, Taylor, Bob

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It is grand, isn't it?

Hello all!

I made it back from OKC happy yet exhausted. The trip was simply wonderful, although it did suck every ounce of energy I had in my body. In case I never mentioned it, the reason for my trip was the inagural lecture of the McBride Institute for Faith and Literature, with speaker Kathleen Norris. It was wonderful and I'm so happy I could be there to help pay tribute to the McBrides and all they've done for OC and the kingdom.

Kathleen Norris was good. She made me think about a lot of things, which honestly most people don't make me do. She even made me want to think about them. :) She has a lot of experience with Benedictine monks so I've been thinking about monastic life. Anyone interested in starting a reformation movement monestary/convent?

I got to see a lot of people in OKC, considering the short time I was there. I took my camera to take pictures, but of course I ended up taking zippo. I can't describe how refreshing it is to one's soul to be with people who love you and you love so much. The trip was very hard on me physically, but spiritually/emotionally it was well well worth it. By the way, I never had to use a wheelchair! Yay!

Love and hugs to all my OKC people. Those of you I got to see and spend time with, thanks for helping revive my tired spirit. Those of you I didn't get to see, there's always next time!

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I joined facebook finally. I can't decide how I feel about this. I have already made several vows that I will not spend excessive time on this. And I will not base my self-esteem on how many "friends" I have. But it was great fun to reconnect with some buddies from olden days.

Off I go!

Today I am heading out to OKC for a couple of days to see friends. I've been looking forward to this for a while and am super-excited, but also kind of nervous. Please pray that this time will rejuvinate my spirit and that I will stay healthy while I'm there. Love you all!