Part 1 of 2
July always gets me thinking about my own mortality. Probably not the typical thought you expect to hear from a 26 year old, but since when am I the typical 26 year old.
July 2 is a big mile-marker, Ebenezer type day in my mind. In 2003, it was the day I was released from the hospital after a six week stay. In 2005, it was the day that I flew home from Japan to seek more medical treatment. Ironically, I call July 2 my independence day, although the truth is that the hardest times came post-July 2 in both cases.
So for the past 3 years, when July rolls around, I start thinking about hospital stays, doctor visits, and those times when I didn't know what was going to happen with my illness.
I have written some about the spiritual implications my own illness has had for me (reference- here). At some point I need to write more, because I feel like I have a testimony of how God worked and is continuing to work through a very painful time.
Trauma changes you. I envision it as something changing within your personality's DNA. Maybe your soul's DNA, I'm really not sure. I think it holds true for all types and varying degrees of trauma, but certainly illness. In our very emotionally-aware society, I think it's tempting to elevate emotional distress (which in many cases is valid), but also diminish physical distress as some lesser suffering, since it's "only physical pain."
Anyone who would say that hasn't been in pain. Anyone who would say that hasn't seen their death as imminent. And those moments change you.
We live in a world of decay. Everything around us is in a state of decomposition, because we live in a fallen world. Illness is part of that. I don't believe illness is God's will for our lives, although I do believe he brings redemption to our falleness.
To be continued in Part 2- Healing.
With much credit to Edward Fudge's statement of faith concerning healing.