Wednesday, October 21, 2009

71 Days

71 days. That's how long this year has to turn it around.

I'm not going to lie. 2009 has been rough. I feel more strongly about it than that, but I'm trying to not fall entirely into the swirly twirly darkness of self pity.

But back to the issue at hand- 2009. It just feels like it's been blow after blow- emotionally, physically, spiritually, and professionally. Probably least of all professionally, but that in and of itself has so skewed my worldview. Since when do I look to my job for stability I can't find in any other area of my life? That is so not me.

I was telling someone the other day that this year my faith has taken a beating more than any other, including the years I was so sick. It feels like that was one large trauma, whereas this year has been a multi-front attack.

And it's just exhausting. Everytime I feel like I start to secure my footing, something else- usually major more than minor- flies out from under me. I'm just overwhelmed.

I've tried for quite a while to avoid the pronouncement of flushing the entire year down the proverbial toilet, but sometime last month that dam just burst and now I can't get it out of my head. And the bad part about that is it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, ya know? So that is a catch 22. If I keep saying 2009 sucks, then I'll focus on only the sucky things that happen.

So hence the title. 2009 has 71 days for something(s) fantastic to redeem itself.

I'll be watching and waiting.

3 comments:

Holly said...

Ann, sorry it has been such a hard year!

Alyson said...

I'm sorry you've had a hard year! I hope it does turn around and something amazing happens. But even if it doesn't, you can always write it off. You'll have some year in the future that will TOTALLY make up for this one! :)

OK Chick said...

I'm sorry you've had such a hard year. I hope something fantastic happens in 71 days!