Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Self-addiction

"The most difficult lie I've ever had to contend with is this: Life is a story about me."
--Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz


Today I came to the realization that I have have a self addiction. I think being sick has had a lot to do with it, because when you're sick you really do become the center of the universe. When you're in the hospital you have a little buzzer and nurses come at your beck and call, your parents will do or get anything you want, people come to see you and bring you gifts, and you get cards all the time. It's pretty cool, in a way. :)

However, as I make the transition back into normal life, part of me misses the attention I received. Don't get me wrong-- I am thrilled to be going back to "normal", but the selfish side of me still wants to be catered to. Just proves I'm human, I guess. :)

Once again, as often happens, I come to the end of writing a post and think, "why am I posting this for the world to read?" Maybe it's kind of like step 1 in addiction recovery-- admitting you have a problem. Maybe it's for accountablity. Maybe it's to help edify others. Maybe just to make you think. Who knows.

3 comments:

RC said...

Thanks for the honest post!

Wow...that's so honest.

crittermer said...

I know I'm guilty, too. And I think if we were honest, we'd all confess to being recovering self-aholics at best (and non-recovering ones at worst.) The crazy part is how nothing attracts me to a person more than selflessness (and vice versa, nothing repels me more than selfish self-centered people.) You'd think I could remember that and conduct myself accordingly.=)

Awesome that Christ is the ultimate example of selflessnes for us, too.=)

Denver said...

Ann,
I'm so glad you are doing so much better! We've been praying for you over here. I bet it's quite an adjustment returning to the healthy world...although I'm sure you're more than happy to take on the challenge.