Friday, October 13, 2006

Why I´d Like a Husband

In a nice conversation with my friend Meredith tonight, I mentioned that I´d really like a husband. Of course there are emotional reasons, but I´m not talking about those. Besides, I´d never talk about something like that-- it might be a sign of weakness.

Anyhoo, I feel like there are many practical needs that having a man in the house can fulfill. This was even clearer to me while I was disabled this week.

Here is a short list of reasons why I wish I had a husband. I really don´t know who does and doesn´t read my blog, so I don´t know if any potential husbands are reading. If you are, please take note that you will be expected to do these things/fulfill these needs.

  1. Changing the water bottle. Not really an issue in America, but here everyone uses those big water bottles on a little dispenser. You have to be strong to manuver that thing!
  2. Related to number one, carrying heavy objects in general. At times I find myself with a suitcase in the wrong place that I wish could be moved, and often it stays where it is until the next time a strong man comes to my house. :)
  3. Putting the groceries away after shopping.
  4. Putting dishes away after they´re dry.
  5. Cooking for one is not fun. Not only do you end up with a million leftovers, there is very little motivation to cook a nice, nutritious just yourself.
  6. Taking the trash out.
  7. Driving. I don´t like to drive.
  8. Splitting rent, food, utility costs. It´s so much cheaper to live with two than one.
  9. Always having someone to automatically sit with in church.
  10. Taking care of any mechanical engineering type things-- appliances, cars, electronics, etc.

Ten´s a good round number. I´m sure there are lots of other great reasons to have a husband. These are the ones I will admit to caring about. :)

I would also like to add that I am most certainly capable of doing all these things, except maybe the water bottle. But I´d like someone else, especially a cute man, to do them for me. :)

Are there other good, practical reasons to have a husband? No emotional/physical comments desired. :) What are the practical uses for a wife? I challenge my single man friends to write the mirror to this blog. Challenge! ;)


crittermer said...

The author of this blog has suggested I leave a comment saying how much I hate to squash bugs. When married, my husband will do all the bug squashing.

Blake said...

It is quite disappointing to see that the majority of your reasons listed are utilitarian. However, maybe its not quite so disappointing. If all a girl is looking for is someone to put the groceries away than sign me up! I've been doing that for years without complaints.

Alissa said...

Being able to use the top shelves in cabinets and closets. Step stools are so passe.

Dan said...

Being a husband, I think these are pretty good reasons to have one around the house. But while you are screening potential husbands, you should get a robot. Robots are cool.

JAPierce said...

If you are totally avoiding all emotional/physical reasons, I think the ones you have a pretty good, IF you can find a man who is agreeable to doing said list. We all have expectations for each other and sometimes we have to compromise.

One thing I would add is having someone to protect me. I have never actually been in a specific situation where I needed to be protected, but just having him around makes me feel safer. I like have an automatic best friend too.

Izumi L. said...

I think I have a wonderful hubby. He is on a diet and cook very healthy and yummy meals now. We get to excercise together, too.

You don't have to find a man who does those stuff. Even if you don't, once you find a man, you can teach him to do all those things. He will be the head of the family but you are the neck which will turn his head as you like!

Miss you a lot!

Anonymous said...

You might reconsider #8. It's cheaper for ROOMMATES, but in marriage everything is OURS.

Misty said...

My husband would be a Killer of Spiders. I'll even make him a t-shirt. It will read something like this: I Kill Spiders.

Right now, all I have to kill the spiders is a can of Lysol. The can of Lysol just doesn't have the same appreciation of t-shirts as a husband would.

crittermer said...

Wow, this one has earned you a lot of feedback, Awhn. You should blog about husbands more often.

Misty Moo, I laughed out loud at your comment. I miss your sense of humor! I miss you!

Meghan said...

Dang it! Before I read the comments I totally knew what I was gonna say. Then I see that Misty and Crittermer have already taken mine.=0( Oh well, great minds think alike. BUT...may I add a Part B to that one? After the insect/arachnid/critter, etc. is dead, the husband will properly dispose of the carcass. Contrary to what some husbands may think, dead bugs around the house are not a testament to the husband's manliness.

Summer said...

Living apart from Eric has shown me how spoiled I got when we were "same zipcode married." Definitely all of the above, including heavy lifting bug killing. Also, lizard removal. Eric killed an errant lizard for me in Hawaii because it was staring at me when I got out of the shower. (I screamed). He didn't want to kill it (probably would have taken it home as a pet) but he did because I was scared. Good man.

Also, husbands are good for teaching you all of the "guy things" you (okay I) missed out on as a girly girl. These include the rules of any and all sports, general answers for why boys are stupid sometimes, and the history and meaning of pervy terms you were always curious but afraid to ask about. I also tripled my music knowledge and holdings once married. Lovely!

ann said...

Great comments, guys!

I realize that a roommate could fulfill most of the needs of this list, but the bottom line are the issues I don´t mention on here-- companionship, security, blah blah, love, blah blah...

And frankly, to quote one of my dear male friends whose name I will withhold, "I´d like to have someone to eat a nice meal with, have good conversation, and then make out with after dinner." :) hahahahaha...