Saturday, February 24, 2007

Wanted: Human Pet

I've been doing apartment hunting lately, and today I ran across this one in the classifieds. The post title is their heading. :) I promise I didn't alter it any.

I have 3 cats and a dog already, but am looking to branch out into other species. Guys only, aged 17-24, college students. Must be clean, cheerful and well-behaved.

Private residence, 1.5 miles from Oklahoma Christian University, 4.5 miles from UCO.

No smoking, no stealing, no drugs, no underaged-drinking, no overnight sha-WING -partners.

You get: Furnished room with bed, linens, dresser, armoire, night-table, lamp, closet, 13" TV; Bathroom with tub & shower, two sinks ( and a litter box ).

Rent Plan One: For $350 per month, you get a key and I stay out of your bidni'.

OR - Save $200 with Rent Plan Two: For $150 per month I'm on you like grannies on Jell-O salad. You keep your room clean and your grades up. You are home by 11:30 p.m. on school nights. You bathe regularly and brush your fangs twice a day. I am allowed to put you in a headlock and give you noogies at least once a week, and you must submit to random huggings.

You need to bring a valid I.D., a letter from a parent or guardian, and a letter from a high school teacher, college professor, employer, minister, or youth minister. -- and I WILL check your pedigree /:-)

Downside -- I don't have cable. If I did, I would be late everywhere and probably would never leave the house.
AT&T doesn't have high-speed in my area, so I'm still on dial-up, but Panera is five minutes away and they have free wi-fi.
There's no phone-jack in my guest-room, but I'll go halves on putting one in, if you want your own phone-line.

All nationalities and ethnicities are welcome.
Oh my! Hahahaha....


Pamela said...

That was enjoyable!

crittermer said...

Good grief!! You've got to be kidding me!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I must admit, though, $150 is a great price!

Anonymous said...

That was entertaining :D