Last night I got to chat online with an old, dear friend of mine who asked me when I was going to stop fraternizing with Brazilians and come home.
Our short conversation gave me a pang of actually thinking about going "home" and what that would mean. The primary question for that would be, "well, where exactly is home?" I was born in Arkansas, although I never actually lived there beyond a couple of years old. I grew up in Stephenville, but haven´t lived there in 8 years, so that´s not really home to me anymore. My family is in Texarkana, but I only lived there for a couple of years. Went to school in Oklahoma and loved it, but many of the friends that made that place home for me are now scattered across the world. Clearly Japan´s not home, and although I love it, Brazil is not home either (yet).
So where is home? Home is where the heart is, right? Problem is my little heart is scattered all across the world.
But I hold onto the idea that when I am with my loved ones, I am home, no matter where that might be. This week I have been hit with the idea on several fronts that nothing in this world is perfect, but all points to perfection in God and makes us long for Home with Him. (With thanks here to Jonathan Reding´s Sunday school class and the book Longing for a Homeland by Lynn Anderson). No matter where I end up in this world, and because I define home as being with my loved ones, I realize I´ll never find a complete, perfect home on this earth. All I can do is try to make home in this world by building relationships with those I am with and continuing to love those whom God has placed in my path thusfar.
I haven´t been a great emailer since I´ve been here, but I do want to say to all my friends across the world who I am separated from by miles that I love you, and I do miss you. I am having a great time here, I have no regrets about being here, and although my separation from you hurts, it is also serving to bring me closer to God through a deeper longing for His final kingdom.
6 comments:
Ok, so way to make me cry! I've been back, I can't use the word "home" yet, for about 37 hours now. The problem with my heart being in so many different places is th at it leaves it hurting an aweful lot. *sigh* Remember that you are in my prayers and that I am terribly jealous that you are still there and I am here.
Brilliant post! I feel ya, sister.=)
Nice post! I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as all ways.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus the Christ.
Weird! After the conversation I had with you, I was going to type up a post titled, "Home is where the heart is" and talk about how I don't really know what that means. We're always in search for home, yeah? I kinda sorta like it like that.
I love the quote from Zach Braff's character in Garden State:
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of the sudden even though you have some place to put your [stuff], that idea of home is gone; or maybe its like this rite of passage - you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start, it’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s what family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
boy did that one hit "home"! Not to be silly, but we are dealing with that exact problem as we are facing our return to the States...I hope you can find a home soon. I am also interested to know if you have come to any conclusions about whether you want to make Brazil a more permanent home...
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