I wish I had something clever to post, but I don't. My mood remains mostly melancholy and right now I'm feeling as though I don't have too much to offer.
Job hunting is draining and makes you feel as though your worth is reduced to what you can fit on a piece of paper and what "marketable skills" you possess, and apparently juggling is not as marketable as I would have hoped. :) I feel like the black hole of employment, because it seems as though all things that have potential come within my gravitational pull and shrivel. Ha, maybe it's not that bad. ;) But it is pretty pitiful. I think I've put my resume into at least 8 places and I haven't heard a peep. Not a peep! Humph. Please pray for a peep. :)
Of course this is all built on the foundation of still feeling crummy about the whole not going back to Brazil thing. I was hoping in choosing not to go back, God would reaffirm my decision with all kinds of things falling perfectly into place, but that has not been the case at all. God and I are becoming re-acquainted, when I didn't even realize we'd drifted apart. If nothing else I'm realizing that I need to take some time to refocus and rededicate myself to God and his service.
The spiritual thought wrapping around me lately is that of getting alone with God. I read My Utmost for His Highest every day, and this is something that Chambers writes about fairly often. I'm a strong believer in the importance of community, but there is a time for growing intimacy with the Father. I don't know how to explain it better than Chambers did in the linked devotional, so check it out. That's what I'm seeking right now.
I'm reading two great books-- What's So Amazing About Grace by Yancey and Irresistible Revolution by Claibourne. They are exactly what I need at this moment of my life, and I highly recommend them to everyone.
In musically happy news, American Idol has restarted and Tuesday I was very pleased with our two gems we found in Memphis. Derek Webb comes out with a CD at the end of the month and Elliott Yamin in March. Today I was reunited with my formerly lost U2 "Atomic Bomb" CD. So at least the world is musically right. :)
And because the blog needs some color, here's a nice random picture of some strange pickles from my mom's sandwich a few weeks ago.
They're looking at us!