Yippie!!!

Since it's been way too long since you've heard about my gastrointestinal system, I have an update! :) Today I went for my first checkup in three months and Dr. Z is very happy with my progress and bloodwork and appearance and everything! He has given me an all clear to enter back into a fully functional, normal life! PRAISE GOD!

And as positively wonderful as that is, the most exciting part of the day is that I got my feeding tube out today!!! Lots of exclamation points!!!! I hope you've never had to have one, but hopefully you can appreciate that it is a GREAT relief to have it removed. The feeding tube is a wonderful tool and served it's purpose very well for me, but it was time for us to part ways. After having a nearly literal "thorn in the side" for 5 months, it is pure joy to be done with it! As soon as I sat up from the table after it was removed, I could tell the pain and soreness that were practically immediatley gone. Please pray that I will never have to have one again, as I will pray that you never experience it, either.

The one not as good note, from the day was that my doctor wants me to have a test done tomorrow to be sure everything is okay. The ONE GI test that I have never had done, and hoped to not experience til I was 50. I'll let you figure it out. Wish me luck!

And thank you all so much for your prayers and encouragement through all of this. Just as pain shared is lessened, joy shared is magnified!

A little taste...

I love Sundays. Well, I love one particular event on Sundays.

The Lord's supper, the Eucharist, communion, whatever you call it-- is a time of great depth and importance and meaning.

Pages upon pages have been written on this topic, but today I'll focus on one of many reasons why it's special for me.

I imagine that time as a sacred place where Christians all over the world are united at the table with Jesus. As I reflect, faces and names and memories of my brothers and sisters throughout the world go through my mind. And even though we're far in geography, culture, and language, we're together in spirit for that time.

I've left pieces of my heart all over the world and my friends have taken some with them as they've gone out, too. Goodbyes are awful, but reunions are sweet. One day we'll witness the greatest reunion of all, but for now I think I get a little taste of it every Sunday morning.

Yet another time when saudade is just too perfect...

Captivating

We're going from music recommendations to a book recommendation (obviously I'm a little vain about my taste ;) ).

But really, yesterday I started reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it's fantastic. If you fall into one of the following categories, you should read it:

If you're...

• a woman
• related to a woman
• married or engaged to a woman
  
• dating a woman
• friends with a woman
• have a daughter
• or one day would like to fall into one of those last four categories

... you need to read this book! I guess that covers just about everyone. :)

I'm only about halfway through, but it has already touched me deeply. It talks about the deep needs and desires of a woman's soul, and how they're not signs of weakness but characteristics of God shining through in us.

A lot of books about Christian womanhood deal mainly with being a good wife, good mother, or preparing to become one of those.

This book fills a desperate need in our world and especially in the church-- the validation of femininity. That's the word that keeps going through my mind as I read... I feel validated.

So, this is an official sojochick recommendation. Thanks to Mer for telling me about it. I just might have to read "Wild at Heart" now (the men's version written by John Eldredge). Lord knows I could use some education to the male mindset. :)

The Good Stuff, Vol. 1

I've never been really "into" music. My family never really listened to music when I was going up, save at church and those Acappella tapes on long car trips (can I get an amen from the CofCers? :) ). But I think while I was in Japan I kind of changed. Music became my companion and my link to home and expression of thoughts I couldn't formulate. And I was surrounded by music lovers, which also helped.

I'm always very reluctant to buy new CDs, because a CD is a big investment (yeah, I'm cheap) for a lot of songs you're probably not sure of (since maybe 1 or 2 songs per CD gets on the radio). But over the years at times I have struck gold in CD investment, and there are some I just love and don't think I could live without.

It's hard to be a good CD! For me to be really happy with a CD, I only allow 1, ~maybe~ 2 mediocre songs. But I have realized lately that I've built up a treasury of good CDs.

This series will be my list of "good CDs" that I highly recommend. I've highlighted my favorite songs, but remember, they're pretty much all great!

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For the first installment in this series, I want to start with the four artists whose entire treasury of work I love. :) But I'm going to slightly limit myself and recommend a few specific albums. But if you'd like to take my word for it and buy all of their stuff, go for it! ;) And note that all of these are singer/songwriters, so they're writing all their own music. I guess I have a soft spot for writers.

Chris Rice-- Have I mentioned on the blog that I like Chris Rice? :)

• "Past the Edges"-- you've probably heard, "Smellin' Coffee" and "Cartoon Song" (yes, I heard the moan); lesser known gems, "Naive," "Thirsty," "Missin' You"
• "Smell the Color 9"-- you've probably heard, "Smell the Color 9," "The Face of Christ"; lesser known gems, "Belong," "Coming Home Tonight," "My Prayer"
• "Living Room Sessions"-- an instrumental CD of classic hymns in arrangements by Chris Rice, it's all fantastic
• "Run the Earth, Watch the Sky"-- my favorite!; you've probably heard, "The Other Side of the Radio," "Come to Jesus,"; lesser known gems, "Everything's OK," "Wonder," "Smile," "My Cathedral"

Relient K-- Incredibly clever lyrics, managing to be both funny and poignant. And fun to rock out to now and then. :)

• "Two Lefts Don't Make a Right, but Three Do"-- gems, "Getting Into You,", "Mood Rings," "Overthinking," "Am I Understood?"
• "MmHmm"-- gems, "The One I'm Waiting For," "Let It All Out," "More Than Useless," "Be My Escape"

Derek Webb-- Modern day prophet, plain and simple.

• "She Must and Shall Go Free"-- gems, "Lover," "Beloved," "Wedding Dress," "The Church"
• "Mockingbird"-- gems, "A King and a Kingdom," "A New Law," "Rich Young Ruler"

Stephen Curtis Chapman-- Touching songs and one of the most beautiful voices in music.

• "All About Love"-- gems, "How Do I Love Her?" "I Will Be Here," "I'm Gonna Be," "I'll Take Care of You," When Love Takes You In"
• "Speechless"-- gems, "What I Really Want to Say," "The Invitation," "Speechless," "Great Expectations"

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Any "amens" or "what are you thinkings"? :) Are there any artists you guys feel are worthy of buying the whole collection?

Sacrifice and Self-Searching

God gives us material for sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice makes little sense to others, but when offered to God is always accepted.
~Elisabeth Elliot

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
~Ps. 139:23-24

I just got on my travelin' shoes...*

Methinks I owe my public an update on what I've been up to lately. I've been out and about!

I went to Stephenville a week ago for the wedding of a dear friend, Gina, and it was great but a little strange. The trip was strange, not the wedding. :) The wedding was beautiful, simply stunning. I think I say this after most weddings, but Gina was the most beautiful bride ever. The service was simple but elegant, and I was so blessed to be able to share that sacrament with them.


Old friends-- Becky, Carrie, Mara, Gina (the bride), Nina, Ann

Going "home" after 5 years is peculiar... you've never seen such surprised faces as the people at church, whose expressions went from the "polite stranger" face, to the "I know you but where from" face, to the "OH MY GOODNESS!" face. :) It was great. I got to play whirlwind catch up with lots of people, and it was really interesting to try to sum up the past 5 years in 30 seconds. Hahaha, let's think-- I finished college, went to Brazil 3 times, been seriously ill twice, lived in Japan and don't really have a set future. That's about it!

I guess my whole experience was validated when one old friend saw me, ran up and gave me a big hug and said, "Welcome home!" Home. Yes. It is.

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After a few days in T-town I suddenly and quite unexpectedly made a trip to Searcy, Arkansas, most often known for being home to the mighty fighting Bison-- Harding University. I got the chance to visit with several people I hadn't seen since my last campaign to Brazil in 2004 (we worked with a Harding campaign). I had lovely time on the campus, which is always simply stunning at this time of the year with the blooming flowers, and got to remanisce over lots of good times. I had wonderful hostesses (muita obrigada Cynthia, Angela, and Kelly!). And I got to see my dear A-Lo (aka Amanda).

Amanda, Cynthia and I lived together for a week of our campaign in the city of Itu. Our homestay was actually a woman who was out of the country and left us her condo. I have a thousand funny stories about that week, which had they been shared with anyone else would have made it miserable, but with those two we can still laugh hysterically about the night we got stuck in the elevator or when the key broke in the door at 10pm or our complete and utter lack of food in the house.


Cynthia, Ann and Amanda attempting to scrounge up dinner


Ann and Cynthia


Annie Pooh and A-Lo (Ann and Amanda, and there are only 2 people in the world allowed to call me Annie Pooh ;) )

I love catching up with old friends.

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Back to OKC next week!

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*Gold star to the person who can identify the title reference! ;)

Self-Indulgent AI Blog

I am hooked on American Idol. This is my first season to ever watch an episode, except for a random night in Singapore when I saw Bo Bice perform "I Think I Love You" by the Partridges (Simon hated it, I thought it was awesome). AI and Desperate Housewives are the only two shows I'm currently feeling any loyalty to. And after resisting thusfar, I have decided to give into the temptation and write my own meaningless opinions down.

My favorite remaining contestant is Elliot Yamin. I think he has an amazing voice, and America needs to get with the program. The Elliot program. But I know he's not going to win-- America's too superficial-- and he has been in the bottom 3 for the last two weeks. Are you people nuts?! But whatever happens, I hope to be buying his CD someday. I became keen on him when he sang one my all time favorite songs, "Moody's Mood for Love" a couple of months ago in the early Hollywood stuff. That song is hard but super cool and he did it bea-u-tifully. :) He's overcome a lot of medical disabilities, and I can surely feel for that! The man's deaf in one ear and still sings on key more than the other contestants!!! But more than sympathy, come on folks! He's the best voice on the show!

But the one who I think will win it all is Chris Daugherty. He's cool, he's got the image and the attitude and the "Creed"ish (or if you're into Third Day, Mac Powell) voice. He really won me over by pulling off that version of "Walk the Line." And you've got to love a family man. :) But-- I think his winning American Idol could kill his rocker credibility.

Kelly Pickler-- cute, I guess, if you're into syrupy obliviousness. I still can't believe she had the cajones to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody;" that song should definitely be left to karaoke rooms (right Jeshika!). But hey, she kind of pulled it off. I'm with Simon, "That should have been horrible-- but was alright."

I have low toleration for prima donas, so Paris has gots to go. She did do well with "The Show Must Go On" this week, though. But good grief, she's 16. Please don't dress her like a dominatrix.

Oh and what are we to do with Ace. I think he's very beautiful, in a lovely kind of way. Great smile, great eyes, great skin... but the hair puts him over the top. It's all too perfect. And the smile he gives after a performance when he's holding up the fingers for the number to dial is about as plastered on as possible. He's got to go. Soon. He has only impressed me once, way back when he sang "Butterflies" by Michael Jackson. And I think all of America gagged when he fondled his scar during a song (well, except Paula). That totally blackballed him. But he is beautiful. :)

Taylor Hicks, Taylor, Taylor... what are we to do with you. You came in so cool and edgy and different and weird. Now you just seem to be whoring out your weirdness. No more random "Soul Patrol!!" shoutouts or spasmish dancing. We liked that! That's what made you quirky! And play the dang harmonia-- the people have spoken!!!!!

And Kitty Kat... I think her voice is fabulous and the stylists have made her hot. Big strong beautiful voice-- reminds me of Christina Aguelira (not the image-- the voice). A jazzy Christina.

Bucky, we were sad to see you go. I liked you. Ace should have gone before you. You had a perfect song choice with "Real Good Man."

Mandisa, seriously, what was up with that?! Not the greatest song choice, but hello! Mandia and Elliot easily outsing the competetion, I think. But I think Mandisa is a super gracious and Godly woman who will do fabulously after this.

From the "How we miss thee, thou didst leave us too soon" files-- Sway, Gideon and Will Makar

One note to makeup-- last week the males-- especially Elliot, Chris, and Ace, were far beyond the amount of makeup a man can wear and get away with. WAY to much eyeliner, WAY too much pancake foundation.

As for the faculty and staff of American Idol, I would like to say:
I love you Ryan Seacrest! :)
Paula, lay off the "medication" or whatever it is that's making you act drunk. Stop flirting with Simon. Stop having diarreah of the mouth when trying to find ways to describe the performances.
Randy, you're cool, but the namedropping and the "dog"ing need to be trimmed back. :)
Simon, I will grant that you are usually right. But instances like the night where you openly admitted you didn't like country music or "not getting" Mandisa's Christian song are really subjective and stupid. "Not getting it" doesn't mean they didn't sing well. And yes, we all know that you make millions every minute off of this show, so stop acting like you despise the process.

The Good (?) Life

“If you find God with ease, perhaps it is not God you have found.”

— Thomas Merton

Although I have not been through anything uncommon to man, I have seen some trauma in my life. And on bad days, usually in church, I look around and think, "These people have no idea what it's like to be broken. They sing songs about loving God and having faith when they don't know pain."

This is unfair on a couple of levels. First of all, I don't know everyone's story. Who am I to say what they have and haven't been through.

Secondly, I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. I thought to myself, "what if their trial is having an easy life? What if the obstacle of their life and faith is not having to struggle for it?"

My faith has been purified and refined (and will continued to be) through struggle. I'm an idolater at heart, and it is always tempting for me to put my faith in things more tangible than God. Whether it's my friends, my roots, my home, my education, my health, my ethics, my career... at some point I have been broken in each of those issues and have been forced to see that they aren't my Savior... they aren't going to be unwaveringly faithful to me.

Although I certainly would have never asked for some of the trials I've seen, I'm grateful for the opportunity to be broken in the hands of the Master then reconstructed in his design.

I think it's natural instinct to want to protect ourselves and look out for number one, but maybe we should start living with a little more reckless abandon in order for God to use those experiences to shape us.

Hodgepodge and so forth

Just got back from a fantastic week in OKC. I think I talked to about 1000 people during my stay and loved every minute of it. I imagine heaven as being like the forum on OC's campus in springtime, and we will just shoot the breeze under the bright blue sky against the green trees and a slight breeze (alright, so that last part isn't like OKC :) ).

In OKC I also had some grrrrreat food, so I'd like to give my mad sojochick blog-props to Cafe de Taipei, Cafe do Brasil, and Ted's. And of course Donna's oishii roast. Yum!!!

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Church Sunday at Memorial Road was one of the best Sunday mornings of my life. First I went to class with one of my favorite people and met the people who had been faithful prayer warriors for me while I was sick. They were excited to meet this Ann girl that they'd heard so much about. And after services I got to go to the International Ministry potluck, a group of people I grew so close to during my college years.

But the worship service was the kicker. It was focused on missions (my weakness of course), and they introduced two new mission teams MRCC is going to support. One was a team of four families to Vienna and the other is a team going to Poland. I'm friends with several of the folks going, so it was especially personal. But talk about pulling the heartstrings. We started by singing "There's a Stirring" (a song I've never really thought to be lyrically compelling, but perhaps morbid), and as we sang it each of the team members took turns standing up from different places in the auditorium and walking to the stage. Then of course there was a great video montage of the different missions around the world MRCC supports (Campinas-- tears!). Kent challenged the congregation to get involved in missions. MRCC's goal for 2007 is to get at least 1000 people involved in missions, whether domestic or international. Then we sang "There's a Stirring" again and of course I cried because it hit a little too close to home. I'll never sing that song the same way again!

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"I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once."

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In the latest list of songs that tickle me is "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira. Despite the fact that I can appear very nerdy, I'm a sucker for a song with a catchy tune (I used to think that was a cop out for teenagers to listen to crap, but I believe it has some validity-- ie, "My Humps" and "She Bangs"). Although the new Shakira/ Wycleff Jean collaboration is very worldly and immoral ("my hips don't lie"... now there's a piece of tried and true wisdom), I love the line that says, "You make a boy want to learn Spanish."

Were I to design my ideal language learning curriculum, it would involve alcohol and amor. I learned in Japan that alcohol greatly loosens the tongue and gives one confidence to speak in another language. And of course, what is greater a motivator than love? In the words of Donald Miller, "Our 'behavior' will not be changed long with self-discipline, but fall in love and a human will accomplish what he never thought possible."

Yes, liquor and love. I will be the best teacher EVER. ;) Or perhaps just the most popular. Who's ready to enroll? ;)

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Tomorrow I head out to the old homeland, Stephenville. I wrote a few weeks ago that I was going for a wedding shower, but that didn't materialize due to bad weather. I'm going for the wedding of a girl who was my best friend for years. I'm looking forward to it; I haven't been to a wedding in a while. And it is fabulous to see my friend find happiness.

The "G" word

Racism and prejudice have been concerns of mine for several years, so imagine my delight when I heard about a new show called "Black. White." In case you don't know the premise, a black family and a corresponding white family "trade places" for a month or however long through the magic of movie makeup. The families are similar-- age, education, income. The idea is to see how the families experience the world looking through each other's eyes.

Although I think I expected too much, it is an alright program. Of course since it's television, it does have its share of sensationalism and melodrama. But one of the big conflicts on the show between the families, especially the fathers, is the "n" word*. I think it's fairly common that outside of the black community we don't know what to make of it. I can understand how it is confusing, especially when we see African-Americans using it freely amongst friends as a term of endearment. I've heard black people come down on both sides of the issue; in an interview with the cast of "Crash" (a must see by the way), Oprah adamantly claimed that the word should not be used ever by anyone, while Ludacris and Don Cheatle said that it was an African-American symbol of overcoming oppression. I lean more towards one side than the other, but I truly don't think it matters at all what I think. I can just tell you that I would never ever use that word because of the history it carries.

Although I will never understand the power that this word carries to African-Americans, I have gotten just a glimpse. The title refers to the word "gaijin", which is Japanese for foreigner. Several of my Japanese friends would chastise me at this point and say, "No! It's gaikokujin!" But that's kind of the entire point. You see, "gaijin" is made up of 2 kanji (Japanese symbols)-- outside and person. Pretty clear, huh? Well "gaikokujin" translates literally as "outside country person." Most of the Japanese I know consider it rude for a Japanese person to call a foreigner gaijin to their face. I think it gives the message that "you're an outsider, you'll never be one of us."

The thing is, you hear foreigners making gaijin jokes and comments all the time. Unless it's very polite company, I've never heard a foreigner refer to themselves as "gaikokujin." We refer to gaijin hangouts, gaijin idiosyncrasies, and even the gaijin card that we all have to carry. And although I wouldn't get angry, I would think it was impolite for a Japanese person to call me gaijin.

So, is this hypocritical of me? I don't know. Maybe it is, but maybe it's a unity mechanism. Maybe it falls along the train of thought that "no, we'll never be one of them, but we'll always have each other."

I'd like to stress again that the "gaijin" issue doesn't really compare to what African Americans have faced, in most circumstances (you can still find a random elderly Japanese person who hates all foreigners... but I think we have our fair share of those in the US, too). In Japan, foreigners are generally treated with an enormous amount of respect and dignity, as opposed to the relatively recent history of blacks in the US. Just my disclaimer.

But that experience does help me understand.

Originally when I was plotting this post out in my head, I was going to write on the "gringo/a/oes" issue as well, but I feel unqualified. But if my friends with Hispanic experience would like to comment on how they take being called "gringo," please share. Maybe it's not comparable, but I've somewhere along the line acquired the notion that being called a "gringo" was a little jab.

I was also reminded of the word "Gentile."

Any other delicate terms you can think of?

*I think it only exasperates the problem by calling it "the 'n' word," you know, the whole Harry Potter, "the one whose name we do not speak" (Voldemort) issue. But 1) I don't have the guts to use it, 2) someone somewhere would be hurt by it, and 3) I don't want people googling that word and ending up at my site.

Truth is Truth

My personal faith mantra is "God is good. God is faithful." I'm convinced this is the key to my sanity. One of the truths that I hang my hat on is the fact that the Bible is the word of God. Generally, most Christians I know have what I believe to be a somewhat skewed understanding of Biblical truth, usually that is a historically accurate rule book for life. If you're looking for a history book, there are probably a lot of better sources than the Bible. And if a rulebook is what you're looking for, then that could be confusing because sometimes the "rules" contradict each other.
But what I do believe the Bible is is a revelation of the character of God and timeless truth. I read a book a few months ago called Velvet Elvis (an attempt to be the new Blue Like Jazz, but an overall good book), and the author made a point that I took to heart. The Bible is our story, not just the story of a bunch of people thousands of years ago in the middle east. We were the ones who fell in the garden of Eden, we were led out of Egypt, we wandered 40 years in the desert until God handed over the promised land to us, etc etc. It was like being given fresh eyes when I started thinking of the Bible like that. The Bible stops being a historical account of how God once worked and starts being a timeless account of humanness and God's unrelenting faithfulness.
Mike Cope wrote a blog series on the Bible a few weeks ago, and one of the most beautiful points I thought he made was that he feels like "the Bible knows me." I dare suggest that everyone who encounters the Bible in a healthy environment has felt it speak a deep truth they recognize (I say healthy environment because sometimes people have taken that "sword of the spirit" thing the wrong way and chopped off some peoples' heads). I've seen the Word speak to people many times through LST.
I would add to Cope's statement that not only does the Bible know me, but it likes me. As cliche as it is, the Bible is one big love story. I think sometimes we breeze over this statement because it's not a love story we are taught to long for. In the words of Chris Rice, "sometimes love has to drive a nail into it's own hand." It's a true love-- sacrificial and committed and forever.
Not sure what brought this blog on... maybe I'm just falling in love all over again with my true love.

Very Important PSA

If you didn't know I was neurotic before reading this post, you will shortly. :)

One of the great passions of my life is oral hygiene. I haven't always been this way, but somewhere along the line in college the spirit convicted me. Growing up, my family always had their bi-annual dental checkups, and although I always took alright care of my teeth, I usually had at least one cavity.

But it all changed one day in college. I was at a meeting of Outreach, OC's missions club, and for some reason the speaker asked anyone who flossed daily to raise their hand. Out of a room of 50+ students, only one girl raised her hand! I mean, I flossed a couple of times a week, but not every day. I became convinced that this was gross and I must change immediately. So since then I have been a daily flosser. My favorite floss is the plain, waxed, mint kind from Johnson and Johnson, but some others can substitute.

From the daily flossing grew the habit of brushing my teeth thoroughly. At one point in college I would use an electric toothbrush then follow up with a manual toothbrush, although now I'm down to just a manual, but boy what a toothbrush it is!!! I just bought a new one the other day, and decided to upgrade, so I got the Oral B CrossAction Vitalizer. I am already super-impressed and recommend it to everyone. My gums already look a healthier pink.

Along with brushing goes toothpaste, of course. And I happened to run out this week, so I had the pleasure of choosing new toothpaste, which is fun but high pressured for me. I ended up choosing Colgate Total. My priority in toothpaste choice is tatar and plaque control, although the market shows that most people care about whitening. I care about whitening, but for some reason I'm distrustful of whitening toothpastes.

Last but not least is the piece de resistance... Listerine! I can already hear some of you moaning, but really, this is a fabulous product. I think I started using Listerine on the advice of my roommate, Tomoko's, mother. I really find it quite the miracle product. It keeps breath fresh (no nasty morning breath when you wake up), kills germs, and I believe keeps you healthier. I know it burns, but that just means it's working!!! ;)

It is my hope that at least one loyal reader will take inspiration from this blog, and make a positive change in their dental upkeep habits. No telling how much you could save in time, money, and pain if you take simple precautions now! AND I heard on TV the other day that regular brushing and flossing reduces the likelihood of a heart attack. Not really sure about the science of that, but an actual doctor wearing scrubs on TV said it. :)

So go on, make the time and relatively tiny financial investment and do something good for yourself!

Thoughts worth thinking

"Don't allow fear of the unknown to cause you to miss out on what God wants to do through you. Worse than failure is living with the regret of never having stepped out in faith to pursue your vision."
~ Andy Stanley



"No reserve. No retreat. No regrets."
~ William Borden



"We can choose to live more simply that others may simply live. There is enough to go around, but sharing our abundance with others will call us to cut back somewhere, to limit ourselves voluntarily, to live a lifestyle that reflects our knowledge of the condition of people in our world."
~ Paul Borthwick


Blatently stolen from the blog of meu amigo de peito.

Motivation!

As many of you know, I majored in teaching English as a foreign language in college, and I also studied a few langauges. So, as I figure, in theory, I should be pretty good at learning foreign languages since I've studied technique and theory and all of that. But the cold, honest truth is that I'm really not! And while there are a few reasons, I can give you the #1 reason why I and most people have such difficulty learning foreign languages...

MOTIVATION!

Studies show that the true, defining factor of success at foreign language learning is attitude and drive. But I suppose that's probably true in many arenas in life... but we're talking about languages. :)

So I look at my own history. Spanish... yeah I liked it, but I liked it in the sense that you like knick knacks... a fun thing to have and play with once in a while, but not really that big a deal. Hebrew was great; I loved it and did really well while I was actually studying. I think I did have motivation there... a great teacher, the best study partner in the world, and some healthy competetion. :) Japanese... yeah, that didn't go well at all. And I admittedly had a horrible attitude about it from the beginning. Any coincidence? And of course Portuguese... let's just say I've found motivation. :) We'll see how it turns out!

So all that to say... well... not sure what the point of this blog is. Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Tchau!

What, did you think this was going to be some big spiritual anecdote? ;)

Saudade

Thought this might interest those linguists of my friends.

Saudade (pronounced saw-oo-da-ji) is my favorite Portuguese word, unless you're judging strictly by cuteness of the word, in which case it's abacaxi (pineapple-- pronounced ah-ba-ka-shi) or by frequency of word use, in which case it's probably querido/a (dear one-- pronounced ke-ri-do).

This word has been on my mind lately. It even has its own Wikipedia entry, located here. Apparently saudade was ranked in the top ten of most difficult words to translate... in the whole world (interesting list, by the way!).

The simple definition is "homesickness," but if you follow the link you'll see it's more complicated. I think they define it well, as "feeling of longing for something you are fond of, which is gone, but might return in a distant future." It's a word of hope and love, I think.

I think words are an incredible gift from God, and carry enormous power. That's why I feel that "political correctness" (a terrible phrase with negative connotation), or let's say "lexical sensitivity", is so important. Words shape the way we view the world, connect with other people, and oftentimes praise God. God brought the creation into being through speaking words, Jesus spoke words to calm the storm, raise the dead, heal the sick, and teach us to pray. Consider these verses:

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. --Proverbs 15:4

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. -- James 3: 3-12

I'm thankful that English is a language that borrows words from so many other languages to help get the exact definition. I'm thankful to have other languages to borrow words from when they're more appropriate. And I'm thankful for good times and good friends who give me the fond memories, teaching me exactly what saudade is.

Short and Sassy???

Today I had a consulatation with my hair stylist about the mullet problem. I'm very very tempted to chop it all off... well not ALL off, just even it up. But that will be short short short. I've never had short hair. I'm not sure what to do, but my hair does look ridiculous in its current state. So... opening up the polls... should I go for it and just get it cut? I would post a picture of how I look now, but like I said, my hair looks stupid and I'm too vain for that. :)

Who'd have thought...

It seems that against many odds, I have made it to 24. 23 was quite a year. I lived in Asia, had my first real job, my first real vacation, and then almost died. But hey, we made it.

Here's hoping for 24 (or more) more.

Thought for the day: "I am loved, and life is mine" by the always appropriate Chris Rice

Not a Mullet!

So... one of the side effects of months upon months of malnutrition is hair loss. Yeah. So my hair has thinned out A LOT. When I go to wash my hair I joke with my family that I'm going to "wash my three hairs" (Simpsons joke-- Homer has a 3 hair comb-over).

This whole situation had started to really worry me. I'm not really a vain person, I don't think, but what girl really wants to lose more than half of her hair! Or boy for that matter!

But alas, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have new hair growth that is about an inch long all over my scalp! But right now it's at a terrible length to work with. It pretty much sticks straight up or out, depending on location. So, between the short hair making an appearance and my thinned-out long hair... I believe it looks like I am sporting a mullet.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hahaha, I laugh about it, but it does make me sort of self-conscious. But it's a good lesson in humility, I suppose. So if you see me while my hair is still in it's awkward adolescent phase, be kind and remember, it's not a mullet. :)

'Tis So Sweet

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

I heard this song today. Honestly, not one of my favorite songs. I think it's the music... very rigid or something. But today as I listened the words really hit me, and I once again appreciate the beautiful and timeless truth found in so many hymns.

Where better place to put my trust? People disappoint, bodies fail, science only goes so far... God is real, God is truth, God is good, and God is faithful.

I love the line, "How I've proved him o'er and o'er..." I can look not only to my life and the gift of faith I have from God, but also at the lives of so many people I know and love. They've proved that trust in God isn't futile or foolish. And then the end, "O for grace to trust Him more..." Faith is a gift given through the grace of God.

This song (written in 1882-- timeless truths, huh?) reminds me a lot of the Natalie Grant song, "Held". If you haven't heard it, I highly suggest it. It's written specifically about the pain of losing a child, but I think anyone who has gone through a serious trauma can relate well to its message.

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

I love that. "The promise was when everything fell, we'd be held."

Just a thought for today, folks.

What You Can Do

While I was sick, probably hundreds of people asked my family and me what they could do to help. I'm never really sure what to say when someone asks that, because I'm never sure if they really want to help or if they're just doing social graces. But since I've gotten better I have a good answer.

During my illness and hospital stays, I received several transfusions of blood and plasma (at least 10 units). Sadly, I've never donated blood in my life, although my dad has donated regularly as long as I can remember. I was scared. But I've given lots of blood in the past year and can honestly tell you that it's not bad. I won't lie-- it ain't great-- but it definitely doesn't deserve the drama that I and so many other people give it.

So that to say... please donate blood! If donors hadn't given in T-town and in OKC, I don't know what I would've done! To find out how to go about it, this website is the search results for blood donation. I'm sure wherever you give, your gift will find a grateful recipient. My own dear mother, deathly afraid of needles, made a donation on Wednesday night. And it went just fine.

So go for it, folks! A little stick is worth what it will mean to the recipient. You could save a life! Gambatte kudasai!