I think that a lot of times your body realizes things before your mind does. For example, I have always had dreams about things that are stressing me out. Sometimes I don't realize how much I am stressing about something until I have a dream about it.
Well, for the last month almost I've been getting nightly headaches. They occur almost every day, and it's been driving me crazy. At first I though they were allergy/sinus related, but I was talking with a friend last week who suggested maybe they were tension headaches. At first I was like, "no, no... I don't feel stressed out!" But as I thought about it, I realized that actually I do have a heck of a lot going on in my life right now, and although I might not be feeling the anxiety, I think it is being harbored in my body.
This morning took it to a new level. I had a job interview this morning (which went well, by the way), but when I arrived at the office and was talking to the receptionist, I started to notice that I was having vision problems. There were some kind of bright lights flashing in what seemed like my right eye. I had gone walking this morning, so I brushed it off as maybe some minor dehydration. But then as the interview went along, it kept getting worse.
As I left the office, I started to get a headache, then I remembered what a friend of mine once told me about migraines and "auras" that precede them. So I started worrying. 5 minutes later I knew I had a migraine. I had arrived back at my current job and couldn't focus or keep my eyes open. I was talking to my supervisor and suddenly started crying because it just hurt so much. She was very kind and sent me home, where I came and crashed. I took a lot of advil and tried a cold compress, but that only made it worse.
I had managed to send an email for medicinal help, and one of my wonderful friends very graciously came and brought me excedrin on his lunch break (the same friend who tipped me off they were probably tension headaches). I took a nap and woke up to my head feeling much better (but still achy), but still feeling like I'd been hit by a truck.
I have no idea what brought it on or anything like that, and I'm now hoping this doesn't become a common occurrence. And I'm trying to go through my mind and emotions and figure out what on earth could be the root of this stress. I'm trying to take cues from my body before it starts an all-out rebellion. :)
Not sure why I'm blogging about this, but I guess it can't hurt to petition prayers for healing and that I will be able to identify and heal what is causing me anxiety.
Current favorite song: Divine Romance by Phil Wickham