Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Love Offering

Thursday night Christian singer/songwriter Dennis Jernigan is going to have one of his praise nights here in the metro area, and our small group from church is making an event of it. I was thrilled to hear about it; I love DJ and his praise nights have a long, rich history in my life that deserve a post unto itself (at a later date). :)

So as we talked about it, it came to be revealed that the concert was actually a small part of a larger evening that is an area wide singles mixer!!! If only I could have seen the look that crossed my face when I heard that, but I'm pretty sure I said something to the effect of "No way!!!!" But yes way.

It was already an act of God (quite literally) to get me to go to a singles group at church, and it took finding a group small enough that it didn't feel like a meat market. There are few things that sound less repulsive to me than going and meeting a bunch of new people who are there with an agenda. Don't I have enough self-esteem and rejection issues??? I know that sounds harsh, but I should also say that it's just not my personality not to like to be thrown into meeting a large group of new people I will probably never see again.

As you can see, I was clearly not excited about this. But then I decided that if we were going to go, we should make an impression. I implored our group to fast, pray, and meditate to discern the best Christian (or especially Dennis Jernigan) related pick up lines. I searched the internet and found these to be the cream of the crop:

  • I just don't feel called to celibacy.
  • Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?
  • I don't see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith.
  • What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?
  • You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (careful not to get that mixed up)
  • I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date.
  • Before tonight, I never believed in predestination...
  • Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical.
  • I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight.
  • Oh, you're cold? Maybe we should read Ecclesiastes 4:11
  • Are you a religious person? Because I'm the answer to all your prayers!
Then Auvrey busted out this Jernigan perfect line-- "Hey there. You are the treasure that I seek."

So I'm going. And I'm going to have a good attitude. :) As a friend pointed out, this is going to be a great chance to people watch. :) I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!

If anyone else has any stellar pick up lines, please leave them in the comments below.

3 comments:

crittermer said...

"There's no one I'd rather have holding the other side of my banner!"

Cris said...

i've noticed in my 4 experiences in the MRCC class that whereas a normal glance in society lasts about 1.2 seconds, a normal glance in a singles class lasts 2.2. i'm just sayin...pay attention to this during your people watching.

Neener said...

Where are you? I haven't seen you online in over a week or so! I have something for you!