Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Love Offering

Thursday night Christian singer/songwriter Dennis Jernigan is going to have one of his praise nights here in the metro area, and our small group from church is making an event of it. I was thrilled to hear about it; I love DJ and his praise nights have a long, rich history in my life that deserve a post unto itself (at a later date). :)

So as we talked about it, it came to be revealed that the concert was actually a small part of a larger evening that is an area wide singles mixer!!! If only I could have seen the look that crossed my face when I heard that, but I'm pretty sure I said something to the effect of "No way!!!!" But yes way.

It was already an act of God (quite literally) to get me to go to a singles group at church, and it took finding a group small enough that it didn't feel like a meat market. There are few things that sound less repulsive to me than going and meeting a bunch of new people who are there with an agenda. Don't I have enough self-esteem and rejection issues??? I know that sounds harsh, but I should also say that it's just not my personality not to like to be thrown into meeting a large group of new people I will probably never see again.

As you can see, I was clearly not excited about this. But then I decided that if we were going to go, we should make an impression. I implored our group to fast, pray, and meditate to discern the best Christian (or especially Dennis Jernigan) related pick up lines. I searched the internet and found these to be the cream of the crop:

  • I just don't feel called to celibacy.
  • Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?
  • I don't see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith.
  • What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?
  • You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (careful not to get that mixed up)
  • I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date.
  • Before tonight, I never believed in predestination...
  • Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical.
  • I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight.
  • Oh, you're cold? Maybe we should read Ecclesiastes 4:11
  • Are you a religious person? Because I'm the answer to all your prayers!
Then Auvrey busted out this Jernigan perfect line-- "Hey there. You are the treasure that I seek."

So I'm going. And I'm going to have a good attitude. :) As a friend pointed out, this is going to be a great chance to people watch. :) I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!

If anyone else has any stellar pick up lines, please leave them in the comments below.


crittermer said...

"There's no one I'd rather have holding the other side of my banner!"

Cris said...

i've noticed in my 4 experiences in the MRCC class that whereas a normal glance in society lasts about 1.2 seconds, a normal glance in a singles class lasts 2.2. i'm just sayin...pay attention to this during your people watching.

Neener said...

Where are you? I haven't seen you online in over a week or so! I have something for you!