We Come to You

This song has been floating around in my head for a while, and I love it for its simplicity and honesty.

As you came to us, we come to you,
Fragile as a baby hopeful and new
But learning fast that to walk is to fall
Soon we’ve done it all

We come broken, and we come undone
We come trying hard to love everyone
But we come up short in all that we do
Because we do,
We come to you

As you came to us, so we come to you
Dirty and hurting then dead in the tomb
But raised, redeemed, to show off the scars
‘Cause you’ve brought us this far

We come broken and we come undone
We come trying hard to love everyone
But we come up short in all that we do
Because we do
We come to you

You came to show the way not around, but through,
So through it all, we come to you

--Derek Webb

In related news, Caedmon's Call has come out with a new album, Overdressed, and guess who rejoined the collaboration (both singing and writing)? Derek Webb! Woo hoo! Go out and get it. It sounds great. I will when I have money to support my habit. :)

Surprised by Joy

Well, in an effort to fulfill yet another of the 101 in 1001 goals, I've been tinkering with the blog. It's going through another name change, because I feel like the season of "Born to Fly" has passed and I'd like something more appropriate. A while back I noticed that one of my friends had this clever quote as his "about me" on Facebook: "Like my friend Clive Staples, I find myself surprised by joy." I thought that was pretty great, and a pretty great summation of how I feel about life right now.

I'm not satisfied with the aesthetics of the blog yet, so bear patiently with me as it might be going through many different variations for a while. If anyone has any great ideas or inspiration feel free to share (i.e., color schemes, photo header, tagline, etc). So there you have it. Surprised by joy. :)

Praise Night sans Singles Mixer

Last night our merry band of pilgrims returned to the Dennis Jernigan Praise Night. It was, as always, a wonderful and powerful time of worship. This time I was smart enough to take my camera. I'm not sure this is legal or DJ condoned, but I took some videos.

This first video is epitomizes one of the things I love about DJ. He was telling us that he had a really rough time in the past week, how several frustrating and saddening things were happening in his life and family. Apparently it culminated on Sunday, but when he woke up on Monday morning he was singing this song. Yes, you read that right-- apparently he wrote the song in his sleep. Or the Lord gave him the song through the night, however you prefer to look at it. So here is one of the newest Dennis Jernigan songs:



As we arrived, he was also singing a fairly new song we learned at the last Praise Night, titled Yeshua. It's... interesting. :)



The visual quality is not great on these. The little white dot in the middle is Dennis Jernigan's head. If you get the contrast right you might can see that the lyrics are on the screen above his head.

The good news is that they've decided to continue DJ praise nights through December! Each second Friday of the month. So if you're interested let me know. I'm sure I'll be going back! (and there was no mention of a singles mixer! woo hoo!)

He's Just Not That Into You

I consider myself some what of a Christian dating book connoisseur. I've read a lot of them, ranging the gamut from how to find a man, how to be datable, how to make your dating relationship work, what it should look like, and of course how to be a content single. I think my interest began with a search for information and education on the subject, but has since turned into a more morbid curiosity as to what people are actually suggesting. And besides, as a quarter century single myself, I have some personal interest. :)

A couple of weeks ago I was at Barnes and Noble just hanging out, and I sat at a table that had the book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I'd seen the episode of Sex and the City that spawned the movement, and I'd heard a little about the concept of the book, so I was intrigued.

It's a small book with big print, so I was able to breeze through it pretty quickly, and let me tell you, it is now a book that I would recommend first to my single female friends. Essentially, the book's point is that women try to over-examine men and their response to them. As the book's title makes fairly clear, in many cases when a woman tries to explain away men's strange behavior with excuses about "fear of intimacy", career stress, being afraid of their own emotions, family baggage or what not, it's often a simple case of the "he's just not that into you"s. It's kind of the whole principle that a man would cross any mountain, swim any sea, or trek across the desert to be with the woman he wants.

It sounds harsh and unkind the first time you hear it, but the way Behrendt writes and explains it, it is quite empowering! It frees women from wasting time from anguishing over gray or muddled relationships and recognizing that they're worth being with someone who won't put them through emotional warfare by being noncommittal and wishy washy.

The book's not written from a Christian perspective by any means (for example, I would hope that most mature Christians realize that "He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else" or "if he only wants to see you when he's drunk"), but the overriding principle is applicable for so many single women I know. And moreover, even being the crazy liberal that I am, I do believe strongly in traditional gender roles within relationships, especially romantic/familial (i.e., the male is the pursuer, the female the pursued), and that is really a strong foundational philosophy of this book.

All in all, I highly recommend this book for any single woman, especially those struggling with iffy relationships or unrequited love. Too bad there isn't a simple equivalent for men. :)

And what do you guys think? Is this a common misconception women have about men, or are men more complex than Behrendt would have us think?

Redhawks Game

Tonight I fulfilled another of the 101 in 1001 goals by attending the Oklahoma Redhawks baseball game. I love baseball games. It was a ton of fun. I'll just post some pictures because there's really not too much to say, except that it was Elvis appreciation night. :)

Lindsey, Amy, Ryan

Pete, me, Tiffany

The King lives

You can take the girl out of Japan, but you can't take Japan out of the girl. :)

Priceless Grace

Right now I'm reading an amazing book entitled "Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home" by Richard Foster. I just want to share a small excerpt from it.

The chapter this is taken from is about the importance of praying for self reflection and introspection, based off one of my favorite "life scriptures", Psalm 139:23-25. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Paul, you may remember, urges us to offer our bodies-- our very selves-- as living sacrifices to God (Rom. 12:1). This offering cannot be made in some abstract way with pious words or religious acts. No, it must be rooted in the acceptance of the concrete details of who we are and the way we live. We come come to accept and even honor our creatureliness. The offering of ourselves can only be the offering of our lived experience, because this alone is who we are. And who we are-- not who we want to be-- is the only offering we have to give. We give God therefore not just our strengths, but also our weaknesses, not just our giftedness, but also our brokenness. Our duplicity, our lust, our narcissism, our sloth-- all are laid on the altar of sacrifice...

There is, therefore, no need to repress, suppress, or sublimate any of God's truth about ourselves. Full, total, unvarnished self-knowledge is the bread by which we are sustained. A yes to life means an honest recognition of our own evil, but it is also a yes to God, who in the midst of our evil sustains us and draws us into his righteousnesses.

Through faith, self-knowledge leads us to self-acceptance and a self-love that draw their life from God's acceptance and love.

She's a Big Girl Now

I haven't updated on Penny Lane in a while, so I thought I'd post a recent picture. Man, the animal shelter didn't tell me she was going to grow so much, so quickly! I hope I'm not overfeeding her.




Heehee, just kidding! Definitely not Penny, although they do have the same coloring and markings. Here's a real picture of my cat looking especially cute:


In case you can't tell, she is not morbidly obese. She's a good cat, most of the time. :)

Sojo's Recommendations

I have a few jumbledy blogs that I was trying to figure out how to consolidate, which led me to the idea of doing a recommendation post. Yes, kind of vain, but hey, it's my blog. :)

Here are a few things that have come into my life lately and I just wanted to pass them along to you all.

MUSIC:
*Bebo Norman, "Between the Dreaming and the Coming True" . I have finally gotten into Bebo Norman after years of hearing how good he is, and since I've started listening to this album I pretty much can't stop. It's quite addictive and wonderful. I highly recommend it for quality Christian music.

EDIFICATION:
*While our preacher is off adopting two Rwandan children, we've had a substitute who has won over our entire church. Yes, Mark will still have a job when he comes back, but Bruce McIntyre has done an amazing job teaching on the subject of Resiliency. I highly recommend it for rejuvenation to face the world.

FOOD:
I've been drinking smoothies every morning for a while now. I hate to brag, but I think they're pretty dang good. Here is my base recipe and my two favorite flavor variants.

Base--
1 cup skim milk
1 scoop whey protein powder
1 sugar free vanilla pudding cup or 1 one cup of natural apple sauce
1 packet splenda

Sunshiny morning flavor--
1 cup mandarin orange slices (I think without the juice is better)
quarter cup of pineapple chunks
quarter cup of peaches
quarter cup of strawberries

Very Berry flavor--
half cup of blueberries
half cup of strawberries

I use all frozen fruit. Go as the spirit moves you.

HYDRATION:
After I walk every morning I like to have my icy water bottle ready to refuel me. Maybe everyone else knows this trick, but I thought it was original and clever. :) I fill my bottle a little less than halfway full the night before, then lay it sideways in the door of my freezer. That way, the next morning when I want it, I unscrew the bottle and can fill the remaining space with water that is instantly cool and icy. Please see note from Karen in the comments!

If anyone else has a new favorite thing, feel free to share it in the comments.

Blessings

One type of blessing that always touches me is when someone comes to me and says, "God placed this scripture on my heart and I believe He wants me to share it with you." I've had that happen several times in my life, and I still remember them clearly and those passages are some of the dearest to my heart. When I'm down or feeling burdened I still go back to the scriptures given to me by friends along the journey.

Sometimes I think that sometimes we lose the importance and beauty of speaking blessings over each other. Thankfully, I worship with a family that still faithfully believes in the power of praying over and blessing brothers and sisters. Speaking truth to the hearts of brothers and sisters is one of the vital roles we have as a Christian family, especially when the world saturates us with lies. I pray that you will feel moved speak a blessing over someone in your life. It may be what gives them the strength to fight another day.

Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
--Proverbs 16:24

Making Oatmeal Good

Okay, I need blogland help. I recently switched from eating the yummy instant oatmeal (brown sugar and maple flavor) every morning to going for the all natural rolled oats. Pros- much healthier. Cons- tastes bad. Well, maybe not bad, but it's hard to get a whole bowl down every morning.

So here's the deal. I need some help making it better. I already cook it with milk. I add cinnamon, raisins and natural apple sauce now. That makes it almost good, but I'm looking for more additive ideas. The stipulations are that they can't contain refined sugar. Oh yeah, and I don't like nuts.

Here are the suggestions I've had so far. Help a sister out and tell me what you think.

• cinnamon
• apples
• raisins
• vanilla extract
• nutmeg
  

Heaven on Earth

A few months ago I wrote on the consequences of good intentions unfulfilled within friendships. When I wrote it, I was feeling particularly hurt by some friends. Today I would like to write the opposite of that post. :)

There is something very heavenly about friendship. When a need is seen, then met, motivated not by guilty or duty, but from compassion and love. Heaven on earth.

I have great friends. :)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If they fall down, they can help each other up. But pity those who fall and have no one to help them up! --Ecc. 4:9-10

Chavez hearts Penn

Is this from the real news or from The Onion? It looks like it's from The Onion; it has all the elements such as a B list celeb with bad hair and and the "wannabe cool and socially conscious" mentality, but it's gone terribly wrong with Crazy Chavez. My favorite part is where Chavez says that he likes Penn's work, especially Mystic River. How bizarre.

Sean Penn Praised by Venezuelan Dictator Chavez

Writer's Block

This is my 602nd blog post. I've been blogging about 3 years and 3 months. More and more often lately I find myself thinking about shutting the blog down. There are several reasons. The one I think about most is that this is such a crappy medium for relationship building or maintenence. There are people who read my blog to "keep in touch with me", which is a nice idea, but there are several problems. For one, it's entirely one sided. You feel like you know what's up with me and you've connected somehow, whereas in reality there's just nothing. And I don't like it, although I'm guilty of the same thing with my other blogging buddies. Also, the truth is that I generally don't talk about important things going on in my life on the blog. I don't (generally) talk about the things I think most and most deeply about. I tried that and didn't really like it, so I am unlikely to try again anytime soon.

Overall, I just feel very uninspired. I hesitate to go on any kind of official blog sabbatical, because it seems every time I tell someone I'm going to, I end up writing a lot. So if the blog seems kind of stale, that is why. I'm waiting for my muse to return. :)

Praise Night/Singles Mixer Report

I promised a report, so I'd better make good on that.

Dennis Jernigan is one of the most spirit-filled people I've seen (perhaps even more so than Gary Bruce, if you know him). It would almost be over the top, but he is completely sincere and passionate about what Christ has done for him and wants to share that with others. DJ has written a lot of songs. Seriously prolific writer. Some of the ones people would most quickly recognize are "I am a Sheep", "All in All", "Thank You", "We Will Worship the Lamb of Glory", etc etc. You can google him to see some others. It was fun and meaningful and an overall great night of praise. If you have the chance to go see him and have a rather open mind to worship expressions, then definitely go check him out.

The singles mixer was... interesting. :) First things first, they had a great cookie/donut/pastry spread and a lot of coffee. But most of the singles there were I'd say 40s and over. Considering the average age of our group is mid-twenties, it wasn't really our demographic. Honestly, no one in our group was excited about going, so I'm not sure why we did. We did end up playing it a little snotty, probably, because we just stayed in our small circle and chatted amongst ourselves. A couple of the ladies from the hosting church came and introduced themselves to us, and they were very nice. Both asked if we all went to the same church, we said "Yes, Quail Springs CoC", and they were cool with that. But as we said our goodbyes to one lady, we parted ways, and suddenly she spins around and says, "Oh yeah, and by the way you guys, don't worry about the fact that y'all go to a Church of Christ. I grew up there; it's okay." :) Ha, I think I said something mildly snarky like, "Oh don't worry, we've made peace with our identity." Which was then followed by the usual remarks about how Quail really isn't your average CoC. :)

As for the singles mixing, lemmie tell you. Our group was 5 girls and 1 guy, Pete. As we were in our closed circle, one gentleman came by. He carried himself in a manner that made us all immediately suspicious, I think. He stuck his head in our circle and said, "Is this a closed conversation." We reassured him it wasn't and he began to introduce himself to us... well, the girls at least. :) When Pete tried to shake his hand and introduce himself, Cletus* flat ignored him! Ha! We tried to make small talk, but he turned his attention to one young lady in our group. So he was asking her about her profession, which, regrettably at that moment, is a massage therapist. She said that and he eyes took on a new gleam. "Oooooh," Cletus said, "Well where would someone go to be massaged by you?" She explained that she works free lance in peoples' homes, to which he said, "Well do you have a card if someone were interested in being massaged?" We all cringed at that moment. She quickly and curtly explained that she only works off of referrals and quickly whisked herself off, leaving him looking kind of dejected. Sorry, but he totally had it coming. Uh, CREEPY!

We didn't stay much longer after that. It was nice, but really not our scene. No more singles mixers for a while. :) But I'd love to go hear DJ again. All in all, a fun night. No pun intended. :)

Love Offering

Thursday night Christian singer/songwriter Dennis Jernigan is going to have one of his praise nights here in the metro area, and our small group from church is making an event of it. I was thrilled to hear about it; I love DJ and his praise nights have a long, rich history in my life that deserve a post unto itself (at a later date). :)

So as we talked about it, it came to be revealed that the concert was actually a small part of a larger evening that is an area wide singles mixer!!! If only I could have seen the look that crossed my face when I heard that, but I'm pretty sure I said something to the effect of "No way!!!!" But yes way.

It was already an act of God (quite literally) to get me to go to a singles group at church, and it took finding a group small enough that it didn't feel like a meat market. There are few things that sound less repulsive to me than going and meeting a bunch of new people who are there with an agenda. Don't I have enough self-esteem and rejection issues??? I know that sounds harsh, but I should also say that it's just not my personality not to like to be thrown into meeting a large group of new people I will probably never see again.

As you can see, I was clearly not excited about this. But then I decided that if we were going to go, we should make an impression. I implored our group to fast, pray, and meditate to discern the best Christian (or especially Dennis Jernigan) related pick up lines. I searched the internet and found these to be the cream of the crop:

• I just don't feel called to celibacy.
• Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?
• I don't see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith.
• What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?
• You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (careful not to get that mixed up)
  
• I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date.
• Before tonight, I never believed in predestination...
• Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical.
• I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight.
• Oh, you're cold? Maybe we should read Ecclesiastes 4:11
• Are you a religious person? Because I'm the answer to all your prayers!

Then Auvrey busted out this Jernigan perfect line-- "Hey there. You are the treasure that I seek."

So I'm going. And I'm going to have a good attitude. :) As a friend pointed out, this is going to be a great chance to people watch. :) I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!

If anyone else has any stellar pick up lines, please leave them in the comments below.

Listening to your Body

I think that a lot of times your body realizes things before your mind does. For example, I have always had dreams about things that are stressing me out. Sometimes I don't realize how much I am stressing about something until I have a dream about it.

Well, for the last month almost I've been getting nightly headaches. They occur almost every day, and it's been driving me crazy. At first I though they were allergy/sinus related, but I was talking with a friend last week who suggested maybe they were tension headaches. At first I was like, "no, no... I don't feel stressed out!" But as I thought about it, I realized that actually I do have a heck of a lot going on in my life right now, and although I might not be feeling the anxiety, I think it is being harbored in my body.

This morning took it to a new level. I had a job interview this morning (which went well, by the way), but when I arrived at the office and was talking to the receptionist, I started to notice that I was having vision problems. There were some kind of bright lights flashing in what seemed like my right eye. I had gone walking this morning, so I brushed it off as maybe some minor dehydration. But then as the interview went along, it kept getting worse.

As I left the office, I started to get a headache, then I remembered what a friend of mine once told me about migraines and "auras" that precede them. So I started worrying. 5 minutes later I knew I had a migraine. I had arrived back at my current job and couldn't focus or keep my eyes open. I was talking to my supervisor and suddenly started crying because it just hurt so much. She was very kind and sent me home, where I came and crashed. I took a lot of advil and tried a cold compress, but that only made it worse.

I had managed to send an email for medicinal help, and one of my wonderful friends very graciously came and brought me excedrin on his lunch break (the same friend who tipped me off they were probably tension headaches). I took a nap and woke up to my head feeling much better (but still achy), but still feeling like I'd been hit by a truck.

I have no idea what brought it on or anything like that, and I'm now hoping this doesn't become a common occurrence. And I'm trying to go through my mind and emotions and figure out what on earth could be the root of this stress. I'm trying to take cues from my body before it starts an all-out rebellion. :)

Not sure why I'm blogging about this, but I guess it can't hurt to petition prayers for healing and that I will be able to identify and heal what is causing me anxiety.

------------------------

Current favorite song: Divine Romance by Phil Wickham

Plane Crash in São Paulo

Some of you might have seen the news today about a major airplane accident in São Paulo, Brazil. This hit me a little close to home on several levels. For one, the flight was one from Porto Alegre to São Paulo, a flight which I took when I went on my awesome vineyard vacation. There but by the grace of God go I, huh?

To help illustrate what a dangerous situation this is, the Congonhas airport is in the smack middle of São Paulo, one of the largest and most cram packed metropolis areas in the world. Taking off and landing in that airport is nerve racking because you are literally flying right next to skyscrapers and apartment high rise buildings. The fact that more people weren't injured is a miracle.

So I was saddened and disturbed to hear of the accident, but then by chance today I got to talk to one of my dearest friends in Brazil, Thiago. He is finishing his residency at a hospital in São Paulo, and apparently the survivors, 10 of them, were brought to his hospital where he was working in the ER today. When I talked to him he'd just gotten off work and was still shaken and shocked by the whole thing. He said they were suffering mostly burns and were all in very serious condition.

Every day tragedies are reported on the news, but some days they hit very close to home. Reminds you of how small our world is.

The Danger of Making People Think

This was one of the google daily quotes. I thought it was great and just wanted to put it up here.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
- Don Marquis

Harry Potter Premiere

On Tuesday night I crossed off the first of my 101 in 1001 goals. Actually, it wasn't on the list before I did it, but then I realized it should be. Besides, it's my list and I'll play by my rules. :)

I went to the Harry Potter 5- Order of the Phoenix premiere! Actually, my goal was to go to one of my friend Blake's premiere events. He's big into organizing groups to go and see movies when they come out (i.e., LOTR, Harry Potter, I don't know which others). I've never gone, but always wanted to, so this was my shot.

The truth is that I tried to back out at the last minute. Common sense and prudence threatened to overrule my sense of fun. I wanted to see it, but going to a 12:01am movie and then working the next day sounded like torture. But Blake talked me into going, and in the end I'm very glad I did.

I arrived at 9:30 to get in line (yes, for a midnight showing), and the place was a freak show. :) I don't know how many screens it was playing on, but I'd guess at least 12 and they were all sold out. And by 9:30 the place was pretty full. And, like I said, the crowd was quite colorful. :) I felt like such a muggle. ;) A lot of people dressed up, and there were some hard core geeks there. Of course Blake dressed up. He was going for the older, preppy Gryffindor look. :) Here's a picture of him and Mark:



Overall it was a great night and great movie and I'm glad I went. The audience was involved as the movie played. And I got the chance to catch up with a lot of cool cats I haven't seen in a while. So there ya go. 1 down, 100 to go (if I ever think of 101 goals!).

Here in this Place

Sundays have become my favorite day. Rather than "Sunday Morning Coming Down" I feel like I could sing a (somewhat) comparable "Monday Morning Coming Down." This song has been on my heart as a description of the time I spend with my Christian family.

Here In This Place

Chris Davis

Lay your burden down
Every care you carry,
And come to the table of grace,
For there is mercy.
Come just as you are,
We are all unworthy
To enter the presence of God
For He is holy.

Lift up your heart, lift up your hands,
Fall on your knees and pray;
For the King of kings and the love He brings
Is here in this place.
We raise our voices, raise our song,
We offer Him our praise;
For the King of kings and the joy He brings
Is here, He is here in this place.

Just as a note for future reference, I changed churches since the last time I referenced my congregation. I didn't "blog-nounce" it because I didn't want people to jump to conclusions over why I changed based on circumstantial, peripheral events. I have been attending Quail Springs Church of Christ for several months now, and it has been sheer blessing. I still love Memorial, but I feel like God has led me to Quail at this point in my life. My good friends already knew that I've moved, but I just wanted to clarify here for times in the future when I reference the church I attend.