In Other Weirdness...

So today as I attempted to type in my blog address I ended up at a strange place. Apparently I typed http://sojochick.blogpsot.com/, and if you click the link you´ll see where it goes. I tried to read it and find out if I know who this person is, but I couldn´t figure it out. So if that person reads this blog, I would like to ask you to please leave me a comment and explain why you are trying to snare people from my blog. Thank you.

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FRANCE!?!?! Seriously!?!?!? Last Saturday was a sad day, because as some of you know my beloved Brasil´s hopes at a 6 time Copa championship were dashed by France. FRANCE?!?!?! Yeah... it was pathetic. I don´t know what team was playing against France, but I know Brazil didn´t show up. Oh well. Misty asked if Brazilians were as dispondent as the media is claiming. I doubt it, although I am sure some folks were crying into their Guaranas on Saturday. I was sitting next to a friend of mine from church, and I saw him quietly wiping away tears when the timer ran out. It wasn´t that he was dying over it, but it´s a big disappointment. I can relate with how I felt when my beloved Elliott was eliminated from American Idol. It´s just disappointment. But we´re moving on. Ready for 2010 in South Africa! :) Oh yeah, by the way, the finalists in the Cup are France and Italy. Uh, yeah, we´re cheering for Italy. My friends and I have voted them the "hottest" team in the Cup. :)

Church Camp

Sorry I´ve been blog and email absent for a while, but I have been at church camp for the past week. Ben Thompson, if you´re reading this I can hear you laughing. Yes, people, I went to church camp. I went to church camp 2 years in high school, and let´s just say I was underwhelmed by the whole thing, and my general opinion of church camp has not been terribly favorable over the years (anybody up for a re-baptism?! haha...).

Anyway, I could say a lot about camp and perhaps I will over the next few days, but let me summarize it for you. Highland Church in Abilene (home of the blog-famous Mike Cope) sends a group of about 50+ Americans down here to run a camp for Americans and Brazilians (and a Canadian, haha). It´s completely bi-lingual. I was a little wary before camp began due to the aforementioned opinions on church camps, but this was really a great experience.

Just one thing I want to talk about now, because I have LOTS to do today. There was a praise band at camp that played every night, and they played two songs that I already loved but meant something so special to me this time. The first was "Blessed be your Name". This has been an anthem of sorts for me over the past couple of years, but seeing as how the past couple of years have been kind of crappy, I always focused on the parts about blessing the Lord when times are hard. But this week I was able to praise the name of the Lord "when the sun is shining down on me, and the world´s all as it should be." The second song was "This is How We Overcome", and I could say with all my heart that God has "turned my mourning into dancing, and turned my sorrow into joy." To sing that song with my beloved friends, at a beautiful camp, in the country I love, with a healthy body was truly a moment where I felt the Grace of God.

I´ll write more about camp later. There are some funny stories to tell, and you American CoC people are going to get a kick out of some of the things we did. Hahaha... ;)

The Wheels of the Bus

Today in an effort to broaden our culture horizons and compare the cultures with which I have had the most experience, I will talk about public bus system.

Both Brazilians and Japanese rely on the bus system much more than we do in America. That´s an understatement. But for my daily life in both countries I have become a patron of the bus system. Generally I really like this, because I don´t like driving, and I really don´t have a desire to drive in either country (Japan because it´s backwards, Brazil because it´s kind of crazy).

In Japan, the bus stops are clearly marked and there are schedules telling you the exact minute that your bus will arrive. In Brazil you´ve got to have an inside source to help you figure out where the stops are and as for schedules... well you just stand and wait. :) My experience with buses in Itu has been much better than it was in Campinas. We could wait like, 45 minutes there for a bus whereas here the most has been about 15 minutes.

In Japan the bus is freaking expensive. For me to go to my school each was about $5. And they charge by the number of stops you stay on the bus. In Brazil it´s about $.80 and you can stay on as long as you want.

One superficial, random fact is that in Brazil you board the front of the bus and exit out the back, and in Japan you board the back and exit out of the front.

That´s all I can think of now. Yay for public transportation!

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In strange news, why is the top CNN and MSN headline that Bush and Koizumi are going to Graceland together? Am I in bizarro world?

More pictures

Well here we go with part 2 of the picture post, if Blogger will cooperate today.

This is a picture of the church choir. I love it! We performed Saturday and Sunday at the inaguration of a new church plant from the Itu church in the neighboring town of Salto. Our fearless leader is in black on the left.

Since it´s my blog and my pictures, here´s another photo of the soprano section.

Speaking of work in Salto, this is the minister, Joncilei, his wife Karina (I think), and their son Joab with the LST team from San Angelo-- Josh, Kristen, Cindy, and Jared. They were fun and we all enjoyed them!

Then on Sunday I was honored to see the ceremony of Antenor Gonçalves being made an elder at the church here. To know Antenor (or any of the Gonçalveses) is to love them. Antenor is second to the right. The other three men ar the current elders.

This is my precious friend, Jandira. She is a lifesaver. Last week I was stressed out, so she kidnapped me away to the farm thing where her mom lives. This is us in front of a waterfall you can´t really see.

Maybe I´m the only one greatly amused by this church, but I am. Translation: Second Baptist Church.

Finally!

Finally, my people, I am able to bring you what I have been promising for weeks. Pictures! So without further ado, here are some of the faces I´ve been seeing a lot lately. Haha... :)

This is Jonathan, who for the record is not my husband-- haha. :) It was lots of fun to have him here for the first week I was here! Saudades, querido!

This is Yesky, the English school I work at that my friends own. Yay for orange and green! :)

This is just a pretty picture of me at a place called Monte Sião.

It´s Copa time! These are three sweet guys-- Rafael, Guto, and Jonathan-- at the first game.

My cool peeps in São João da Boa Vista-- Elaine, Oseias, and Thiago.

I have more pictures to post, which I will soon. But Blogger is being onery. Blah! Love you all lots!

Your Side of the World

The other day I was listening to my Steven Curtis Chapman, "All About Love" CD (which is fabulous by the way), and suddenly this song started. It´s about cross-gender communication, but this time I heard it in a different way-- in the context of cross-cultural communication. So today I dedicate this song to my beloved Brazilians who I am trying so hard to understand. :) Maybe some of you folks can relate.

Your Side of the World by SCC

So here we are we're standing face to face
And yet we seem to be a million miles apart
This world can feel like such a lonely place
It all depends on what you see from where you are
So please, please tell me what you can
'Cause I want to understand

How does it look from your side?
How does it look from where you are?
How does it look from your side,
From your side of the world?

So tell me the color of your sky above
Paint me a picture of the things that make you smile
Show me your fears and what you're dreaming of
Take me to where my heart can see across the miles
And please, please tell me what you can
'Cause I want to understand

How does it look from your side?
How does it look from where you are?
How does it look from your side
From your side of the world?

Don't be surprised to find I'm not too far away
'Cause what we are both in search of is one and the same
So please, please tell me what you see
'Cause I really want to be the one who understands

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By the way, unless you´re living under a rock or in America, you know it´s world cup time! Yesterday was interesting because it was the Brazil vs. Japan game. Everyone picked on me, asking who I was rooting for. :) I liked it because I could cheer for everyone! And, as I think everyone kind of expected, Brazil whooped Japan soundly, 4-1. Brazil´s in the playoffs! Hexa!!!

I Heart Food

I think I´ve mentioned in every email I´ve written to people that I am eating very very well here. And it is true, people! I keep saying that I have yet to have a bad meal here or even a mediocre one. I LOVE BRAZILIAN FOOD. You know those verses in the Bible where it talks about receiving back 10 times as much that you give up for Christ? It´s as though with every meal I have here, God is saying, "I´m so sorry for all that crappy food you ate in Japan." (except the cooking of my amazingly talented friends there!) :)

Some of you may be wondering what exactly Brazilian food is. Well, the basic staples are beans and rice. That may sound boring, but it is seasoned to perfection with onion and garlic. Beans and rice are usually eaten at least once a day with a meal. I love it. Also, of course, Brazilians eat a wide variety of fresh fruit, especially apples, tangerines, bananas, mango, papaya, pinepple and passion fruit. They also often drink fresh juices from these fruits. Grilled chicken and beef are also served a lot.

Some Brazilian foods you may not know about (but will wish you did) are things like churros (maybe these are available at some places in the states, I don´t know), brigadeiros, and pasteis. Churros are possibly the most sinfully delicious food in the world. It´s a pastery about the size and shape of a paper towel roll, fried like a donut, rolled in cinnamon and sugar, and then filled with a cream called "doce de leite". Doce de leite (literally sweetness of milk) is a lot like caramel, only smoother and creamier I think. Yes, this is a sinful dessert. I can only handle maybe one a week. Then there is the brigadeiro, which is also a marvelous Brazilian invention. It´s like a little chocolate-caramel ball that is rolled in chocolate sprinkles. Yuuuuummy. Finally is the pastel (plural is pasteis), which is hard to describe in a way that makes it sound as good as it is. It´s like a fried pie with meat and cheese and onions and good things like that. Very yummy. And cheap. I love how cheap stuff is here.

And on top of all these wonderful things, everyday I have the joy and pleasure of eating lunch at the house of my boss/friend/brother in Christ, Jorge. Jorge´s mom, Isabel, is an amazing cook. She makes everything from scratch and it is so amazing. Even foods I normally despise are amazing. For example, the other week she made spinach. Gross, right? Well it was amazing. Yesterday we had cauliflour (I have no idea hwo to spell that, and spell check disappeared from my blogger thing). I normally hate it. But it was so delicious I had a second helping. Then today we had kale. I think it´s called kale, at least. I don´t know the English name for it, because typically we´re not crazy enough to eat the stuff. It´s kind of like seaweed. And normally I hate it. But as you guessed, today it was delicious. Isabel is precious for many reasons, including her cooking (as well as her bubbly personality and incontrolable urge to pamper anyone who walks in her door).

Ya know what else I have become addicted to? I don´t think we have this exact product in America, but here they have something called a Hersey Cookie and Strawberry bar. I know we have the cookies and cream bar in America, with the little bits of cookie in it, but here it´s a milk chocolate bar and the little cookie bits are flavored with strawberry! Lord have mercy. I love it.

Yes. I love food. It´s a good thing I´m walking so much, because if not I am sure I would be morbidly obsese by the end of August.

I´m sure there will be more food blogs in the future. :)

There´s a Stirring

Sorry I´ve been blog-absent lately. I´ve been busy, and last week when I tried to write a very big blog, the internet ate it. I was not amused. But consider it a hidden blessing, because it was kind of long-winded and a little too detailed to be interesting. I´m trying not to make this a day by day account of my time here, so I am going to try to write on different interesting (I think, at least) topics I encounter here.

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Despite the vows I made after my campaign in 2004, I am in a choir again. The main difference is that this time it seems that most of the people actually don´t want to throw their songbooks at the director or each other, which is nice. Anyhoo, so I´m in this choir. And it´s lots and lots of fun. Our first performance is going to be at the inaguration of a new church plant the Itu church is supporting in the neighboring town of Salto. I´ll write more about this after it happens, because I think it´s so exciting and wonderful, but this really isn´t the subject of this blog.

In case you don´t know, a popular method of procuring religious hymns and praise songs throughout the world is translations from the English versions, much like we English speakers derived many of our older hymns from Latin, German, or Italian. Sometimes the translations go well and sometimes they´re awkward.

My friend who is the choir director had written me a few months ago and mentioned that they were learning the Portuguese version of "There´s a Stirring." I think everyone who knows the song would agree that it´s musically beautiful, but I have always found the words kind of... weird. So I wondered how the Portuguese version would turn out.

Well to my pleasant surprise, it is WONDERFUL! Much better than the English version, (click to see the lyrics) in my opinion. So I present to you the Portuguese version with my translation into English. Please forgive any bad translation for those of you who know-- my translation is awkward and doesn´t do justice to the beauty of the language. I´d love to give credit to the translator, but I don´t know who did it.

Uma voz vem sussurando no profundo do meu ser
A voice comes whispering in the depth of my being
Insistente está chamando, é preciso responder
This calling is insistant, and I need to respond
Deus agita minha alma, tenho que obedecer.
God stirs my soul, I have to obey
Manda, "Venha mim."
It says, "Come to me."
"Vou, Senhor, vou sim!"
"I´m coming Lord, I´m coming!"

Eu me prostro, me prostro
I bow down, bow down
Quero me dedicar a Te glorificar
I want to dedicate myself to glorify you
Vou sempre Te servir e honrar.
I´m always going to serve and honor You.
Uma voz vem sussurando.
A voice comes whispering

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Big thanks to Dan Lovejoy for fixing my silly false quasi-cognate. :)

My Father´s Daughter

Tomorrow´s father´s day, and like many years in recent times I will once again be a continent or so away from my dad. So in honor of the occasion, I will do what any child of the modern age would-- write a blog. Haha!

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I know I´m my father´s daughter when I--

• would swear on all things holy that "green box spaghetti" is simply the best
• actually argue for the validity of the sports of hunting or Nascar
• can truly appreciate a good recliner
• am responsible
• am fairly positive that there´s no way I could be wrong about something. ;)
• check the oil in my car (back when I had one)

Happy father´s day, dad! And all other dads, grandads, and father figures out there!

Nossa Senhora!

Well I finally did it. I read the DaVinci Code. I actually wrote a blog on the DaVinci code about a month ago after my parents´church had a special class on "Decoding the DaVinci Code". I was mostly critiquing the Christian community´s overreaction to this whole phenomenon. But I pulled that blog off a few hours after I wrote it because I thought it was probably not a good idea to speak as an expert on something that I hadn´t even read. So I read it!

This might not make sense if you haven´t read the book or seen the movie, so forgive me if you aren´t in the know.

First of all, Dan Brown wrote a great story. Great as in... entertaining. Very suspenseful and such. Good book candy. But now I can better understand why everyone is in a tizzy over this (although I still don´t think it deserves the hoopla it´s getting). If I were Catholic, I´d be pretty POed about this book. While I´m all for freedom of speech and art and everything (in fact I fall quite heavily on the side of such things), I do believe that this was written with some malice against the Catholic church and Christian tradition in general, whether overt or covert. Anytime you write a "fictional work" about an actual institution or actual people (especially in the world of religion) that paints them in a pretty bad light, you´ve got to expect some anger. It would be like if I wrote a "fictional" book about my beloved alma mater, Oklahoma Christian, and said that it was a lying, murdering, manipulative, oppressive institution seeking to gain only power and glory for itself. I can call it fiction all day long, but people would be rightfully pissed off.

As for the conspiracy theories that the book proposes, I agree that Christian tradition and really the world in general has a rich history of misogyny, and that is an issue that needs to be dealt with. I don´t think it is beyond possibility that there were evil leaders who could have distorted the story of Christ to benefit themselves. I wrote about the book "Captivating" a couple of months ago, and one of the ideas that the book proposes is that the prevalence of oppression of women throughout the history of the world is evidence that there is a greater evil seeking to destroy femininity. I am a firm believer that the traditional Christian idea of God as an exclusively male entity is a destructive lie. At the creation of the world both Adam and Eve were created to embody the fullness of God. Adam alone was not sufficient. So... all that rambling to say that I do think there is some creedance to the idea that Christian history has been destructively oppressive to femininity.

But I also think the DaVinci code takes it way too far into the realm of goddess worship. It´s that darn pendulum I keep referencing. It swung from misogyny to goddess worship! Geez louise people, let´s find the happy medium. :)

I think it´s safe to say that I don´t know if Jesus was married to Mary Magdelene or if he had kids. Perhaps it´s so deeply ingrained in my psyche from years of teaching and assumptions, but I tend to think he probably wasn´t. One of the arguments the book makes is that Jesus would have been an anomoly to be a middle aged, Jewish, umarried man. Maybe I guess, but, Paul wasn´t married. He was kind of a woman hater himself, though. Haha, no hate mail please, that was a joke. :)

The bottom line is that above all, I have faith in God. I have faith in his grace towards me in my ignorance, and his concern for my soul.

Alright, I´ve talked enough about this. In my effort to get Dan Brown more money, I suggest you read it. And I plan on seeing the movie ASAP, too. But my final word on this is that I think Dan Brown and his publishers are marketing geniuses. Get the Christian community in an uproar and you´re guaranteed at least double the publicity and profits. In an effort to cash in on this phenomom, I think I will write a book on the life of Paul called "The He-Man-Woman-Haters Club". Ha! Any other good names for books you can think of?

Thoughts on Learning a Language

Oi do Brasil! Things are still going great. I was hoping to blog a picture post today but I am afraid that isn´t going to be as simple as I hoped, so for now I will talk about a subject that has consumed my life the past week-- language acquisition! I think I am fairly safe in talking on such a nerdy subject because I know my blog readership has experience with these types of things.

Coming to Brazil this time I felt more confident than times before because I have actually been studying Portuguese for the past few months. Thanks to the Spanish classes I´ve taken, Portuguese has never been completely foreign to me (unlike a certain Nihon-go). And since I´ve been reading a lot of Portuguese over the past few months I was feeling a little better about coming and being able to have a slight head start.

But as I´ve discovered (re-discovered) since I´ve been here, learning language via immersion isn´t that easy. My current frustration is that it almost seems like people don´t want me to learn Portuguese. Of course I know that´s not true. I´m pretty sure everyone would be tickled pink if I knew Portuguese. But not many people seem to be wanting to help me much. Maybe some of you can understand some of the situations I´m about to describe.

I am a visual learner, which means I learn best by reading and studying rather than hearing. So, because of this and because I have been far removed from being able to hear and speak a lot of Portuguese for a few years, most of my practice has been reading and writing. Reading, writing, speaking, and listening are the four components of language learning, and they´re kind of like muscles. You going to be a lot stronger in the areas you exercise than the ones you don´t. And my speaking and listening muscles have atrophied. :) So that´s obviously a problem. I think my poor friends who I have been writing to in Portuguese are so confused because they obviously have gotten the impression I can speak Portuguese as well as I can write, but that´s just not true right now.

Also, maybe I´m just a little sensitive because I´m an English teacher and have had a lot of experience talking with people who speak English as a second language, but it seems like a lot of people are not wanting to help me learn. Some people speak so fast that I can´t possibly understand. Some people don´t speak clearly or mumble. Some people use strange words. And it´s not that those are insurmountable problems, but the moment I ask them to slow down, repeat themselves, or tell them I don´t know a certain word they either give up on me or switch to English.

Ha, of all ironies, you know what I need? I need Let´s Start Talking in Portuguese! Someone to practice with me and speak on my level. I´m going to talk to the minister here to see if there is someone in the church who maybe would study the Bible with me in Portuguese like that.

I really do understand most of what I hear, but I´m just so darn shy in Portuguese. In case you are a person who has never been out of your element, let me tell you how it feel at first. It´s humiliating (not like in the dream where you´re naked at school, but in that you are severely humbled)! You´re reduced to the level of a child because you really need help with almost everything. It really helps me see my own problems with pride, because I just want to hand my resumé or my college transcript to everyone and say, "Look! I really am an intelligent human being!" But right now I feel like a lot of people can´t see that because I am.

Another issue is that in language acquisition there is almost always a time called the "silent period." It even happens when children learn their first languge-- there is a time when the child is physiologically able to speak, but they have a time when they just need to absorb for a while. I am absorbing now. I am a sponge. :) Ha, but to try to explain that to the people here is not simple.

So here are my tips for you, the readership, if you are in a situation in which you come in contact with a person who is trying to learn your language--

1. Speak slowly and clearly, please. That doesn´t mean you have to speak to them as though they were stupid, but be clear. Don´t go 100 miles an hour.
2. Use basic vocabulary. This may take some training of the mind. It also may require that you yourself actually study a foreign language so that you can better understand which words are commonly learned by beginners.
3. Synonyms! I am the self proclaimed queen of synonyms. Whenever I´m teaching or talking with a person trying to practice English, if I use a word that may be new or difficult I follow it up with 2 or 3 synonyms. This helps because maybe if you keeping using similar words, maybe you´ll hit on a congnate or a word that they have learned. Get a thesaurus. ;)
4. Animation! Use your body language and facial gestures to help convey what you mean.
5. If you think they´re not understanding you, be patient and whatever you do, don´t start talking about them in front of them. They may not be as dense as you think.

That´s all from Professora Ann Sensei. Have a great day!

Day 4

I promise that all of my blogs won´t be titled the number of days I´ve been here, but right now I am completely at a loss for a creative title.

I have some free time and internet access so I thought I´d fill you in a little on what I´ve been doing. Friday and Saturday were great times of catching up with the Graves and the Duttons. I love them so much!

Sunday was such an emotional day. I was so happy to be back at the Guanabara church and see all my beloved friends, but at the same time it was the Graves´ last day and that was very sad. Then we had a traditional lunch of McDonalds with the Duttons (hip hip hooray for Tyler...) and just played around the rest of the afternoon.

Then last night Jonathan and I came to Itu! My stomach was turning backflips the whole way here I was so excited to see everyone. And luckily they were having a choir practice when we arrived at the church building, so I got to see most of my good friends here! I wish I could tell you how happy it made me. I´m still kind of floating in a happy daze.

We went to a festa juninha last night and then hung out at my friend´s English school. I haven´t laughed this much in a long time!

My Portuguese is coming along alright. I draw some satisfaction from the fact that I know a lot more Portuguese than most gringos that come here. Of course Jonathan is putting me to shame, though, even though he speaks like a Carioca. ;)

Like I said before, my heart is overflowing from all these happy reunions and my stomach is full from a LOT of good food! That´s about it! I´m going to try to put some pictures on here sooner or later. Thanks for all your messages! Love you lots and lots!

Chega de saudade!

I made it here early early this morning. It´s been a fun day of happy reunions and great food. I´ve probably already gained a pound. :) Now I am exhausted... so BOA NOITE meus queridos! Love you all!

Born to Fly

Has there ever been a song that you hear and think, "that's me! I could have written that! It fits me perfectly!" Well right now my anthem of sorts is "Born to Fly", sung by Sara Evans (aside: past anthem was "Sand in My Shoes" by Dido). If you click on the title you can see the lyrics, if you're really interested. Hence the new blog name.

I am so tired. Today was another day of frantic emailing, last minute Wal-Mart tripping, and visiting. So if this blog is rather incoherent or if they are any grammatical mistakes, just ignore them (ahem, not that anyone would actually critique my blog for grammar or spelling-- BBB).

A million thanks to everyone who commented or sent sweet emails or called me before I jet off. I wish I could have more time to respond like I want to to all of you. Once I get settled in Brazil I'll have some time to do that. I love you all!

I'm excited. I feel like I've been waiting for this for two years, and it hardly seems possible that I'm getting on a plane tomorrow. I didn't really let myself think about it really happening until I had my ticket, my visa, etc. So really I've only "known" about it for a few weeks. And they flew by! I can't imagine how fast 3 months is going to go.

Well I'm nearly dead, and I still have to finish packing. Love you all very very much. I'll blog ya from the flip side. ;)

Tchau!

Renaissance!

Well if you have tuned into the blog today, you can see that there have been changes on the homestead! New template, new picture, new music (last post). I guess I'm just starting to embrace all this changing that's going on in my life! Oh yeah, you can kind of see in the new picture, but I have short hair now! Since that is a crap quality picture (50 kb?! how can you make a picture that small?!), here is a better shot of short haired-Ann.



Right now I'm worn out. I feel like I've sent 100 emails today trying to get last minute stuff taken care of. Of course the Lord has provided for each need perfectly. Isn't it a great feeling when things fall into place? But I still feel like I need to email and call 100 more people before I leave. Unlikely to happen, but I have good intentions. And we all know how much good intentions are worth.

In case I don't get around to posting tomorrow (another one of those good intentions), I'll fill you in a little on some of the general ideas of my trip. I say general ideas because I am growing increasingly reluctant to give out many details of my life on the internet.

I'm leaving Thursday and arriving Friday morning, then meeting my good friend, Jonathan. We'll be traveling around the state of Sao Paulo visitng mutual friends for a couple of weeks. Then I'm settling into a city called Itu, where I'll be living with a friend and helping her out some, and also trying to learn the language. I think I have said this before on the blog, but this trip is for me to try to get more realistic idea of what living in Brazil would be like and if I can hack it (or want to hack it). Oh yeah, and I'm coming back late August. Trying to max out that tourist visa. :) I'll have plenty of computer access for emailing (so you can write me at: myfirstname dot mylastname at gmail dot com), but I'm not going to make any blog promises. I will definitely post an "I made it here okay" blog, but I'm going to wait and see how I feel about posting as regularly as I currently do.

Oh yeah, one thing I do want to mention is that I am very thankful that I will be at the Guanabara Church in Campinas for the last Sunday the Graves will be there. Some of you know the Graves. They have been missionaries in Brazil for almost 20 years, and have done so much for the church during that time. They kind of adopted me and the other LSTers as another kid during the summers I was doing that. I've really seen the kids grow up over the years. This is what they looked like when I first went:



And this is what they look like now:



Aren't they one of the most beautiful families ever??? :)

We've shared lots of laughs, some sad goodbyes, and some happy reunions. They've fed us and loved on us and always welcomed us with open arms. They even came to see me when I was in the hospital last year. What a wonderful treat that was!!!

I love them so much and appreciate so much the blood, sweat and tears they've invested in missions. It is my prayers, and I hope it will be yours too, that they are able to relocate in a place where their wisdom, knowledge, and experience will be put to great use. Se amo muito, meus amigos queridos.

I'm Moving On...

There are probably better ways to tell you this, but the blog has documented so much of our relationship that I thought maybe this was the most appropriate.

This is so awkward. For over six years now, if anyone asked me who the special "one" was, I automatically said you. My friends and family know you and how special you were to me. The way I've publicly displayed our relationship makes this even harder.

I know you've seen me flirt with some other men before. I'm sorry, but now I am afraid I'm getting too involved to keep my somewhat exclusive relationship I've had with you. I want to feel free to test the waters and see what else the world holds.

It's terribly cliche to say the old, "it's not you, it's me", thing, so let's just say it's both of us. I think God put you in my life at a certain time for a certain season when you really ministered to me. And, at the risk of sounding crass, you did end up with a good bit of my money. I think we both were blessed by the relationship, but now we've both changed. We're going different directions, and my interests and needs now aren't what they used to be. And you are changing, too.

We've had a good run, haven't we? Memories of our time together will always have a special place in my heart. I know we will always be friends. But I just can't honestly say anymore that you're #1 to me.

Don't take it personally, but I'm changing the name of my blog and removing your link. You never update, anyway.

Who knows, maybe with the next CD you release I'll be ready to re-commit. But for now, when someone asks me who my favorite is, I'm sorry, Chris, but don't be surprised when it's someone new.




Your once biggest fan, now just a fan--

ann

Remembering Kyle

Maybe I'm getting thoughtful in my old age, I'm not sure, but this year I've been actually thinking about the meaning of Memorial Day.

Whether it's because of my demographic or the generation I was born into, I just don't know that many people from my peer group who have served in the military. And, I only have had one person I knew die in service. I don't know whether to thank God that I only know one or cry because it's still too many.

Kyle Seitsinger. Man, what a crazy guy. :) I met him one of my first days at OC, I guess. He was a freshman, too, even though he was almost 10 years older than me. He had served in the marines for ten years or so before starting college, and he had the most amazing life experiences for a guy only a few years older than me. He had served as an embassy guard in both Russia and Brazil, and so we would share fond rememberances of Brazil sometimes.

We were never in the same circle of friends, so when he left school for deployment in Afghanistan the November of my senior year, I honestly didn't even realize it. But I will never forget the morning the following January when I was in my US history class and I read the email saying that he had been killed the day before. My stomach dropped to the floor, and I remember thoughts of disbelief and the words "no" and "damn it" alternating in my mind.

I went to his memorial service. The only military funeral I've ever attended. I remember it as a celebration of his life, really. They showed pictures of him living and loving his life with his family, friends, and military brothers all around the world.

When remembering Kyle, pretty much everyone describes him as a "people person," and that's exactly who he was. So incredibly charming and friendly. I remember the energy that just radiated off of him and he was always ready to do whatever needed to be done. That's how he lived, and that's how he died. And I don't want to forget.

Memorial Day. This isn't a day for politics or preaching. This is a day to remember. And never forget.

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This is the OC writeup of Kyle's memorial service and obituary.

This is footage later found showing some of the time shortly before he was killed.

The Good Stuff, Vol. 2

About a month I started what I said was a series of blogs on the best CDs I own. Although it may appear I am very vain concerning my own taste, I really am just trying to spread the happiness. :)

In the last installment featured those artists who I deemed worthy of buying their entire body of work. This time I want to focus on one genre near and dear to my heart-- contemporary Christian music.

So, drum roll please, may I present a few CDs that I think are fabulous and are the staple of my CD collection.

*Caedmon's Call-- 40 Acres

• This is a great CD that I have listened to innumerable times; in fact, I just got done listening to it for the first time in a while and am awe-struck all over again. I'm generally a fan of any old school Caedmon's Call (when Derek Webb was with them), but to me this is the gem of their work. I could rave about every song on this album!

*Avalon-- Avalon

• I'm guessing this was Avalon's first CD since it's self-titled. Although KLOVE has kind of beaten Avalon into the ground for me at times, they are truly beautiful singers (I love big voices like that). This CD is full of powerful and beautiful songs.

*DC Talk-- Jesus Freak

• I think I was just starting high school and just getting into the trepidacious waters of instrumental... dare I say, even rock Christian music when this came out . :) I add this CD to the list because it was groundbreaking and blazed a trail for a new kind of Christian music. The songs are all classics. And you just don't hear a voice like Kevin Max's everyday.
  

*Rich Mullins-- The Awesome God Tribute Album

• This is my homage to one of the master songwriters of Christian music and an all around rock awesome guy. A little background if you don't know-- Rich Mullins wrote lots of songs we know and love (Awesome God, Step by Step, Hold Me Jesus) and lived a radically simple and extraordinary generous lifestyle. He's not my favorite singer, but he's an amazing songwriter. Well, he died in a car accident about 1997 I think, and several big name Christian singers sang his songs on this tribute album. And it is amazing!

*Third Day-- Offerings

• There's actually Offerings Vol. 1 and 2, and I love both. Great, foundational praise music. Max Powell's voice is beautiful, and the songs have powerful messages. Who doesn't love Third Day? :)
  

And because I can't forget my roots, I give you an a capella album--


*Acappella-- The Collection

• If you grew up CofC, then you know Acappella (that is, unless you went to one of those churches that thought even Acappella was cutting it a little close. I swear to you, I had a conversation with a friend in college and he said, "Well I don't know about them... you know they do make noises with their mouths." Despite the obvious insanity on many levels, I kid you not-- I heard it with my own ears). I don't know how many hours I've spent on long car trips listening to them. It was hard to choose one album that was my favorite (gotta love "Travelin' Shoes," "Sweet Fellowship", "More than Conquerors", "Rescue" "Hymns for the World" just to think of a few that mean so much to me off the top of my head), so I played it safe and chose their greatest hits album. Lord have mercy, these guys can sing! Beeeeeeautiful.
  

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That's all for this time's installment of CDs you should own. Feel free to share your own faves in the commends! Tune in next time when I cover my other favorite genre-- musicals and soundtracks! :)

Broken heart and broken toe

Well it happened. I'm afraid we all knew it was coming. My beloved Elliot was voted off American Idol last night. I would like to say, though, that I did my part. I voted for him repeatedly. In case you don't watch American Idol (what's wrong with you?!-- haha), last night was the semi-finals-- 3 contestants left, Katherine, Taylor, and Elliot. The vote percentage went like this-- first place 33.6%, second place 33.2%, and last place 33.06%. So close! So close but yet so far, to quote my beloved Four Seasons. So Elliot went home. :( I must say that I pulled a Paula Abdul and shed a tear during his highlight video. But I am confident that Elliot has a bright future in the music industry, and I can't wait to buy his CD. I could spend the rest of my day hearing him singing "Home" and be very very happy. :)

I don't know who I'm rooting for now. Maybe Taylor. Soul Patrol! I think Kat's a little too much like Kelly Clarkson, and I'm all for diversity.

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In other random news, I think I broke my toe this morning! I stubbed it very hard against a piece of furniture. I broke different toes twice in high school-- my ring toe on my left and right foot. This time it's my pinkie toe on my right foot. Maybe I just bruised it really bad, I don't know. Just hope it's all healed up before June 1st! :)

Anyone else broken toes before? Those are the only bones I've ever broken, although I have suspicions I might have mildly cracked my wrist in a racquetball accident in high school.

Carpe Diem, baby!

Pretty much anyone involved in any kind of language and literature study program has seen "Dead Poets' Society"; I think it must be a written rule somewhere. Who doesn't love Robin Williams ripping up textbooks and dancing around inspiring his students to "carpe diem!" or "seize the day!"

It seems pretty standard for people who have had life-altering trauma to suddenly adopt this "live life to the fullest" attitude. When I had my first round of illness 3 years ago, I didn't really feel like that though. But this past year of illness has really instilled in me that time is precious.

So with that said, I'm pleased to make an announcement that's been in the works for a while now. On June 1st I'll be headed to Brazil! Don't worry, I do have a return ticket and the full support of my doctors. My goals for this time are to study the language, try to get to know the culture in a more realistic sense, and work with the church-- a trial run of sorts to see if a longer term career in Brazil is something I really want or would be able to do effectively.

This shouldn't come as a shock; if you really know me, you know that I've been trying to get back to Brazil since the day I came back the last time. I wanted to live in Brazil pretty much since the first time I went in 2001, and took steps to do so after I graduated. But God closed the door to Brazil and opened the door to Japan, so I went there. But since that chapter has ended and Brazil's still on my heart, I'm going to see what happens. Maybe this is just something I have to get out of my system, but if it is, I have to get it out of my system. If I don't try it, I'll regret it forever.

Some of you know I've been talking about this for months, really. But I wanted to wait til all my chicks hatched before I counted them. :) And yesterday when my visa arrived, I knew everything should be in place. So, Lord willing, June 1st I'm setting out. Two weeks from tomorrow! :) To say I'm excited would be a gross understatement... I'm glowing!!!

Malabarista!

I don’t have many hidden talents, but the one I do have is that the skill of juggling. Did you know I can juggle? Well I can!

I learned way back in 2001, quite randomly. It turns out one of my good friends has taught juggling for years and years, and I learned from him. Domo arigato, Ben-sensei!

I’m not a master juggler like Ben, but I have recently been trying to brush up my skills and learn a few new tricks. It’s so fun!

Juggling is always a good skill to know so far as I can figure, because if you ever fall on hard times you can always perform on street corners for loose change. The time it came in most handy was when I was teaching in kindergartens in Japan. Ha, everybody loves a clown, right?! ;) Yes, you always become popular with the 5 and under crowd when you can throw and catch in an orderly fashion.

So I dedicate this blog to the ancient art of juggling and my teacher and friend, Ben.

What's your hidden talent?



Juggling act in our talent show in Brazil
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We had been practicing this trick for hours probably. (It was me, of course, who was impeding the process, not Ben!) But as you can see we still kept a good sense of humor about it. And poor Cherry would watch then run and duck for cover when our practice sessions turned into bean-bag wars. :) Ben and I had a history of throwing things at each other, but that's another blog for another day. :)
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Oprah on Marriage

I'm an admitted Oprah fan. I haven't bought completely into Oprahism, but I do think she has done some significant good through her power.

Today's show was very interesting. The topic was marriage. Specifically, it was warning of the "dangers" of marriage. I'm still kind of trying to process everything that they said, so bear with me...

The dangers they spoke of was the threat of "losing yourself" in the marriage. The whole idea of morphing into person that you think you should be-- ideal mom, wife, etc, and denying "your own truth." Haha, this new age spiritual language cracks me up. But I understand and appreciate the point.

Although Oprah pointed out repeatedly that she isn't "anti-marriage," it sure didn't come off sounding that way! I was a little shocked because I got the general impression that the panelists and professionals honestly believed that you could get married and still retain the same independence and sense of self that you always had.

I'm all for being a strong woman, but you've got to be kidding me! I shouldn't be surprised considering the way that our culture views marriage these days. But isn't marriage the union of two souls? The whole "flesh of my flesh", "leaving and cleaving", and "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" type of thing?

Modern wisdom is now telling us that waiting longer to get married is the best idea. I can certainly see the wisdom in that (because let's face it, when you're young you're stupid... haha, that's kind of a joke :) ). But I also think it can be a hinderance, because you spend all that time developing your life based on you and your dreams and desires. Maybe even more so for women because they feel they must be "strong" to validate their singleness. So when it comes time to unite your life with another, it's probably going to be harder to do so without feeling like you are "giving up" yourself.

It's interesting to think about. Certainly our culture needs to re-think our ideas on love, marriage, and commitment. Independence is great, but we can't let ourselves get into a pattern of thinking, "I am number one. It's all about me and how you can fit into my life, because don't expect me to change for you." Of course this notion comes as the pendulum has swung from the other direction of women being objectified and repressed for so so so soooooo long. I guess I can only speak for myself, but sometimes you can feel like a traitor to your gender if you want to submit in any way to your husband. Which is also sad.

Oh my, why can't the pendulum just stay in the middle for a while. :)

Parable of the Monkey and the Fish

I love this little parable.

A typhoon had temporarily stranded a monkey on an island. In a secure, protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed obvious to the monkey that the fish was struggling and in need of assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.

A tree precariously dangled over the spot where the fish seemed to be struggling. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on a limb, reached down and snatched the fish from the threatening waters. Immediately scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments the fish showed excitement, but soon settled into a peaceful rest.

Joy and satisfaction swelled inside the monkey. He had successfully helped another creature.

--Duane Elmer, in "Cross-Cultural Servanthood"

Soap Box Derby

I currently reside in a border town-- a city half in one state and half in the other. This oddity reveals itself in several ways, one being that half the city is wet (sells alcohol) and the other half is dry (doesn't sell alcohol). So when you drive down State Line Road, there are liquor stores lining one side and not the other.

This has been a source of contention for restaurant owners for years. On the dry side, in order to buy alcohol at a restaurant you have to buy a "membership" in order for them to sell it legally.

Well apparently the issue is up for a vote now. And of course, this means there is all kinds of politicking going on. The visible campaign is the one against having my state becoming "wet." There are lots of yard signs and bumper stickers and other propaganda around town.

What I find interesting is that many local churches have taken up the cause. I shouldn't be surprised... American Christianity has historically shunned alcohol. But I also think that's funny; definitely one of those cultural issues that we've made doctrine. Don't misunderstand-- the Bible certainly takes a stance against drunkenness (as well as anything in excess-- money, food...), but I'm not sure where the idea came from that alcohol is inherently evil.

I have heard strange things taught in churches about alcohol. I've heard people attempt to make convincing arguments that Jesus never drank wine, or that the water he transformed at Canaa was just some kind of magic grape juice, but certainly not fermented. :) Several churches I've been involved with "don't allow" any of the leadership to drink, no matter how moderate they may be. Even my dear old alma mater doesn't allow students to drink after they're of legal age.

Where on earth did this come from? Doesn't this smack of legalism to anyone else? I'm reminded of the passage in Colossians 2:

Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. Colossians 2:20-23

And of course Jesus had something to say on the matter as well:

You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions... You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions!... Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that... Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside you can defile you by going into you. Rather, it is what comes out of you that defiles you. Mark 7: 8-16

I know alcohol has caused a lot of problems for a lot of people, and that is a shame and I'm sorry for it. But I also believe we've made a "false god" of sorts out of abstinence from alcohol.

The campaign rages on here in T-town, and I'm pretty sure the vote will go to keep my state "dry." But I hope that people aren't fooled into believing this is somekind of holy war-- the majority of the funding for the materials of this campaign is coming from "other state" businesses that hope to keep raking in money from alcohol sales. But, as often happens in politics, if you make people think that your cause is an issue of God and country, then you can win votes. An ingenius-- but horribly evil-- tactic.

Actions Speak Louder

Well, I haven't been offered that full time preaching position yet. :) But tonight I did volunteer to teach a ladies' Bible class in two weeks at my parents' church. This should be interesting! :) As I told my dad, this could be the beginning or the ending of my illustrious preaching ministry. Ha! If you know me, you'll know how to read that...

My assigned topic is "Actions speak louder than words." What a shame, seeing as how I have nothing to say on that subject... ;)

Any great thoughts from you folks as to what I should include in my topic? Any great quotes or passages or songs or movies or what not?

Yippie!!!

Since it's been way too long since you've heard about my gastrointestinal system, I have an update! :) Today I went for my first checkup in three months and Dr. Z is very happy with my progress and bloodwork and appearance and everything! He has given me an all clear to enter back into a fully functional, normal life! PRAISE GOD!

And as positively wonderful as that is, the most exciting part of the day is that I got my feeding tube out today!!! Lots of exclamation points!!!! I hope you've never had to have one, but hopefully you can appreciate that it is a GREAT relief to have it removed. The feeding tube is a wonderful tool and served it's purpose very well for me, but it was time for us to part ways. After having a nearly literal "thorn in the side" for 5 months, it is pure joy to be done with it! As soon as I sat up from the table after it was removed, I could tell the pain and soreness that were practically immediatley gone. Please pray that I will never have to have one again, as I will pray that you never experience it, either.

The one not as good note, from the day was that my doctor wants me to have a test done tomorrow to be sure everything is okay. The ONE GI test that I have never had done, and hoped to not experience til I was 50. I'll let you figure it out. Wish me luck!

And thank you all so much for your prayers and encouragement through all of this. Just as pain shared is lessened, joy shared is magnified!

A little taste...

I love Sundays. Well, I love one particular event on Sundays.

The Lord's supper, the Eucharist, communion, whatever you call it-- is a time of great depth and importance and meaning.

Pages upon pages have been written on this topic, but today I'll focus on one of many reasons why it's special for me.

I imagine that time as a sacred place where Christians all over the world are united at the table with Jesus. As I reflect, faces and names and memories of my brothers and sisters throughout the world go through my mind. And even though we're far in geography, culture, and language, we're together in spirit for that time.

I've left pieces of my heart all over the world and my friends have taken some with them as they've gone out, too. Goodbyes are awful, but reunions are sweet. One day we'll witness the greatest reunion of all, but for now I think I get a little taste of it every Sunday morning.

Yet another time when saudade is just too perfect...

Captivating

We're going from music recommendations to a book recommendation (obviously I'm a little vain about my taste ;) ).

But really, yesterday I started reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it's fantastic. If you fall into one of the following categories, you should read it:

If you're...

• a woman
• related to a woman
• married or engaged to a woman
  
• dating a woman
• friends with a woman
• have a daughter
• or one day would like to fall into one of those last four categories

... you need to read this book! I guess that covers just about everyone. :)

I'm only about halfway through, but it has already touched me deeply. It talks about the deep needs and desires of a woman's soul, and how they're not signs of weakness but characteristics of God shining through in us.

A lot of books about Christian womanhood deal mainly with being a good wife, good mother, or preparing to become one of those.

This book fills a desperate need in our world and especially in the church-- the validation of femininity. That's the word that keeps going through my mind as I read... I feel validated.

So, this is an official sojochick recommendation. Thanks to Mer for telling me about it. I just might have to read "Wild at Heart" now (the men's version written by John Eldredge). Lord knows I could use some education to the male mindset. :)

The Good Stuff, Vol. 1

I've never been really "into" music. My family never really listened to music when I was going up, save at church and those Acappella tapes on long car trips (can I get an amen from the CofCers? :) ). But I think while I was in Japan I kind of changed. Music became my companion and my link to home and expression of thoughts I couldn't formulate. And I was surrounded by music lovers, which also helped.

I'm always very reluctant to buy new CDs, because a CD is a big investment (yeah, I'm cheap) for a lot of songs you're probably not sure of (since maybe 1 or 2 songs per CD gets on the radio). But over the years at times I have struck gold in CD investment, and there are some I just love and don't think I could live without.

It's hard to be a good CD! For me to be really happy with a CD, I only allow 1, ~maybe~ 2 mediocre songs. But I have realized lately that I've built up a treasury of good CDs.

This series will be my list of "good CDs" that I highly recommend. I've highlighted my favorite songs, but remember, they're pretty much all great!

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For the first installment in this series, I want to start with the four artists whose entire treasury of work I love. :) But I'm going to slightly limit myself and recommend a few specific albums. But if you'd like to take my word for it and buy all of their stuff, go for it! ;) And note that all of these are singer/songwriters, so they're writing all their own music. I guess I have a soft spot for writers.

Chris Rice-- Have I mentioned on the blog that I like Chris Rice? :)

• "Past the Edges"-- you've probably heard, "Smellin' Coffee" and "Cartoon Song" (yes, I heard the moan); lesser known gems, "Naive," "Thirsty," "Missin' You"
• "Smell the Color 9"-- you've probably heard, "Smell the Color 9," "The Face of Christ"; lesser known gems, "Belong," "Coming Home Tonight," "My Prayer"
• "Living Room Sessions"-- an instrumental CD of classic hymns in arrangements by Chris Rice, it's all fantastic
• "Run the Earth, Watch the Sky"-- my favorite!; you've probably heard, "The Other Side of the Radio," "Come to Jesus,"; lesser known gems, "Everything's OK," "Wonder," "Smile," "My Cathedral"

Relient K-- Incredibly clever lyrics, managing to be both funny and poignant. And fun to rock out to now and then. :)

• "Two Lefts Don't Make a Right, but Three Do"-- gems, "Getting Into You,", "Mood Rings," "Overthinking," "Am I Understood?"
• "MmHmm"-- gems, "The One I'm Waiting For," "Let It All Out," "More Than Useless," "Be My Escape"

Derek Webb-- Modern day prophet, plain and simple.

• "She Must and Shall Go Free"-- gems, "Lover," "Beloved," "Wedding Dress," "The Church"
• "Mockingbird"-- gems, "A King and a Kingdom," "A New Law," "Rich Young Ruler"

Stephen Curtis Chapman-- Touching songs and one of the most beautiful voices in music.

• "All About Love"-- gems, "How Do I Love Her?" "I Will Be Here," "I'm Gonna Be," "I'll Take Care of You," When Love Takes You In"
• "Speechless"-- gems, "What I Really Want to Say," "The Invitation," "Speechless," "Great Expectations"

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Any "amens" or "what are you thinkings"? :) Are there any artists you guys feel are worthy of buying the whole collection?

Sacrifice and Self-Searching

God gives us material for sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice makes little sense to others, but when offered to God is always accepted.
~Elisabeth Elliot

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
~Ps. 139:23-24

I just got on my travelin' shoes...*

Methinks I owe my public an update on what I've been up to lately. I've been out and about!

I went to Stephenville a week ago for the wedding of a dear friend, Gina, and it was great but a little strange. The trip was strange, not the wedding. :) The wedding was beautiful, simply stunning. I think I say this after most weddings, but Gina was the most beautiful bride ever. The service was simple but elegant, and I was so blessed to be able to share that sacrament with them.


Old friends-- Becky, Carrie, Mara, Gina (the bride), Nina, Ann

Going "home" after 5 years is peculiar... you've never seen such surprised faces as the people at church, whose expressions went from the "polite stranger" face, to the "I know you but where from" face, to the "OH MY GOODNESS!" face. :) It was great. I got to play whirlwind catch up with lots of people, and it was really interesting to try to sum up the past 5 years in 30 seconds. Hahaha, let's think-- I finished college, went to Brazil 3 times, been seriously ill twice, lived in Japan and don't really have a set future. That's about it!

I guess my whole experience was validated when one old friend saw me, ran up and gave me a big hug and said, "Welcome home!" Home. Yes. It is.

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After a few days in T-town I suddenly and quite unexpectedly made a trip to Searcy, Arkansas, most often known for being home to the mighty fighting Bison-- Harding University. I got the chance to visit with several people I hadn't seen since my last campaign to Brazil in 2004 (we worked with a Harding campaign). I had lovely time on the campus, which is always simply stunning at this time of the year with the blooming flowers, and got to remanisce over lots of good times. I had wonderful hostesses (muita obrigada Cynthia, Angela, and Kelly!). And I got to see my dear A-Lo (aka Amanda).

Amanda, Cynthia and I lived together for a week of our campaign in the city of Itu. Our homestay was actually a woman who was out of the country and left us her condo. I have a thousand funny stories about that week, which had they been shared with anyone else would have made it miserable, but with those two we can still laugh hysterically about the night we got stuck in the elevator or when the key broke in the door at 10pm or our complete and utter lack of food in the house.


Cynthia, Ann and Amanda attempting to scrounge up dinner


Ann and Cynthia


Annie Pooh and A-Lo (Ann and Amanda, and there are only 2 people in the world allowed to call me Annie Pooh ;) )

I love catching up with old friends.

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Back to OKC next week!

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*Gold star to the person who can identify the title reference! ;)

Self-Indulgent AI Blog

I am hooked on American Idol. This is my first season to ever watch an episode, except for a random night in Singapore when I saw Bo Bice perform "I Think I Love You" by the Partridges (Simon hated it, I thought it was awesome). AI and Desperate Housewives are the only two shows I'm currently feeling any loyalty to. And after resisting thusfar, I have decided to give into the temptation and write my own meaningless opinions down.

My favorite remaining contestant is Elliot Yamin. I think he has an amazing voice, and America needs to get with the program. The Elliot program. But I know he's not going to win-- America's too superficial-- and he has been in the bottom 3 for the last two weeks. Are you people nuts?! But whatever happens, I hope to be buying his CD someday. I became keen on him when he sang one my all time favorite songs, "Moody's Mood for Love" a couple of months ago in the early Hollywood stuff. That song is hard but super cool and he did it bea-u-tifully. :) He's overcome a lot of medical disabilities, and I can surely feel for that! The man's deaf in one ear and still sings on key more than the other contestants!!! But more than sympathy, come on folks! He's the best voice on the show!

But the one who I think will win it all is Chris Daugherty. He's cool, he's got the image and the attitude and the "Creed"ish (or if you're into Third Day, Mac Powell) voice. He really won me over by pulling off that version of "Walk the Line." And you've got to love a family man. :) But-- I think his winning American Idol could kill his rocker credibility.

Kelly Pickler-- cute, I guess, if you're into syrupy obliviousness. I still can't believe she had the cajones to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody;" that song should definitely be left to karaoke rooms (right Jeshika!). But hey, she kind of pulled it off. I'm with Simon, "That should have been horrible-- but was alright."

I have low toleration for prima donas, so Paris has gots to go. She did do well with "The Show Must Go On" this week, though. But good grief, she's 16. Please don't dress her like a dominatrix.

Oh and what are we to do with Ace. I think he's very beautiful, in a lovely kind of way. Great smile, great eyes, great skin... but the hair puts him over the top. It's all too perfect. And the smile he gives after a performance when he's holding up the fingers for the number to dial is about as plastered on as possible. He's got to go. Soon. He has only impressed me once, way back when he sang "Butterflies" by Michael Jackson. And I think all of America gagged when he fondled his scar during a song (well, except Paula). That totally blackballed him. But he is beautiful. :)

Taylor Hicks, Taylor, Taylor... what are we to do with you. You came in so cool and edgy and different and weird. Now you just seem to be whoring out your weirdness. No more random "Soul Patrol!!" shoutouts or spasmish dancing. We liked that! That's what made you quirky! And play the dang harmonia-- the people have spoken!!!!!

And Kitty Kat... I think her voice is fabulous and the stylists have made her hot. Big strong beautiful voice-- reminds me of Christina Aguelira (not the image-- the voice). A jazzy Christina.

Bucky, we were sad to see you go. I liked you. Ace should have gone before you. You had a perfect song choice with "Real Good Man."

Mandisa, seriously, what was up with that?! Not the greatest song choice, but hello! Mandia and Elliot easily outsing the competetion, I think. But I think Mandisa is a super gracious and Godly woman who will do fabulously after this.

From the "How we miss thee, thou didst leave us too soon" files-- Sway, Gideon and Will Makar

One note to makeup-- last week the males-- especially Elliot, Chris, and Ace, were far beyond the amount of makeup a man can wear and get away with. WAY to much eyeliner, WAY too much pancake foundation.

As for the faculty and staff of American Idol, I would like to say:
I love you Ryan Seacrest! :)
Paula, lay off the "medication" or whatever it is that's making you act drunk. Stop flirting with Simon. Stop having diarreah of the mouth when trying to find ways to describe the performances.
Randy, you're cool, but the namedropping and the "dog"ing need to be trimmed back. :)
Simon, I will grant that you are usually right. But instances like the night where you openly admitted you didn't like country music or "not getting" Mandisa's Christian song are really subjective and stupid. "Not getting it" doesn't mean they didn't sing well. And yes, we all know that you make millions every minute off of this show, so stop acting like you despise the process.

The Good (?) Life

“If you find God with ease, perhaps it is not God you have found.”

— Thomas Merton

Although I have not been through anything uncommon to man, I have seen some trauma in my life. And on bad days, usually in church, I look around and think, "These people have no idea what it's like to be broken. They sing songs about loving God and having faith when they don't know pain."

This is unfair on a couple of levels. First of all, I don't know everyone's story. Who am I to say what they have and haven't been through.

Secondly, I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. I thought to myself, "what if their trial is having an easy life? What if the obstacle of their life and faith is not having to struggle for it?"

My faith has been purified and refined (and will continued to be) through struggle. I'm an idolater at heart, and it is always tempting for me to put my faith in things more tangible than God. Whether it's my friends, my roots, my home, my education, my health, my ethics, my career... at some point I have been broken in each of those issues and have been forced to see that they aren't my Savior... they aren't going to be unwaveringly faithful to me.

Although I certainly would have never asked for some of the trials I've seen, I'm grateful for the opportunity to be broken in the hands of the Master then reconstructed in his design.

I think it's natural instinct to want to protect ourselves and look out for number one, but maybe we should start living with a little more reckless abandon in order for God to use those experiences to shape us.

Hodgepodge and so forth

Just got back from a fantastic week in OKC. I think I talked to about 1000 people during my stay and loved every minute of it. I imagine heaven as being like the forum on OC's campus in springtime, and we will just shoot the breeze under the bright blue sky against the green trees and a slight breeze (alright, so that last part isn't like OKC :) ).

In OKC I also had some grrrrreat food, so I'd like to give my mad sojochick blog-props to Cafe de Taipei, Cafe do Brasil, and Ted's. And of course Donna's oishii roast. Yum!!!

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Church Sunday at Memorial Road was one of the best Sunday mornings of my life. First I went to class with one of my favorite people and met the people who had been faithful prayer warriors for me while I was sick. They were excited to meet this Ann girl that they'd heard so much about. And after services I got to go to the International Ministry potluck, a group of people I grew so close to during my college years.

But the worship service was the kicker. It was focused on missions (my weakness of course), and they introduced two new mission teams MRCC is going to support. One was a team of four families to Vienna and the other is a team going to Poland. I'm friends with several of the folks going, so it was especially personal. But talk about pulling the heartstrings. We started by singing "There's a Stirring" (a song I've never really thought to be lyrically compelling, but perhaps morbid), and as we sang it each of the team members took turns standing up from different places in the auditorium and walking to the stage. Then of course there was a great video montage of the different missions around the world MRCC supports (Campinas-- tears!). Kent challenged the congregation to get involved in missions. MRCC's goal for 2007 is to get at least 1000 people involved in missions, whether domestic or international. Then we sang "There's a Stirring" again and of course I cried because it hit a little too close to home. I'll never sing that song the same way again!

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"I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once."

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In the latest list of songs that tickle me is "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira. Despite the fact that I can appear very nerdy, I'm a sucker for a song with a catchy tune (I used to think that was a cop out for teenagers to listen to crap, but I believe it has some validity-- ie, "My Humps" and "She Bangs"). Although the new Shakira/ Wycleff Jean collaboration is very worldly and immoral ("my hips don't lie"... now there's a piece of tried and true wisdom), I love the line that says, "You make a boy want to learn Spanish."

Were I to design my ideal language learning curriculum, it would involve alcohol and amor. I learned in Japan that alcohol greatly loosens the tongue and gives one confidence to speak in another language. And of course, what is greater a motivator than love? In the words of Donald Miller, "Our 'behavior' will not be changed long with self-discipline, but fall in love and a human will accomplish what he never thought possible."

Yes, liquor and love. I will be the best teacher EVER. ;) Or perhaps just the most popular. Who's ready to enroll? ;)

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Tomorrow I head out to the old homeland, Stephenville. I wrote a few weeks ago that I was going for a wedding shower, but that didn't materialize due to bad weather. I'm going for the wedding of a girl who was my best friend for years. I'm looking forward to it; I haven't been to a wedding in a while. And it is fabulous to see my friend find happiness.

The "G" word

Racism and prejudice have been concerns of mine for several years, so imagine my delight when I heard about a new show called "Black. White." In case you don't know the premise, a black family and a corresponding white family "trade places" for a month or however long through the magic of movie makeup. The families are similar-- age, education, income. The idea is to see how the families experience the world looking through each other's eyes.

Although I think I expected too much, it is an alright program. Of course since it's television, it does have its share of sensationalism and melodrama. But one of the big conflicts on the show between the families, especially the fathers, is the "n" word*. I think it's fairly common that outside of the black community we don't know what to make of it. I can understand how it is confusing, especially when we see African-Americans using it freely amongst friends as a term of endearment. I've heard black people come down on both sides of the issue; in an interview with the cast of "Crash" (a must see by the way), Oprah adamantly claimed that the word should not be used ever by anyone, while Ludacris and Don Cheatle said that it was an African-American symbol of overcoming oppression. I lean more towards one side than the other, but I truly don't think it matters at all what I think. I can just tell you that I would never ever use that word because of the history it carries.

Although I will never understand the power that this word carries to African-Americans, I have gotten just a glimpse. The title refers to the word "gaijin", which is Japanese for foreigner. Several of my Japanese friends would chastise me at this point and say, "No! It's gaikokujin!" But that's kind of the entire point. You see, "gaijin" is made up of 2 kanji (Japanese symbols)-- outside and person. Pretty clear, huh? Well "gaikokujin" translates literally as "outside country person." Most of the Japanese I know consider it rude for a Japanese person to call a foreigner gaijin to their face. I think it gives the message that "you're an outsider, you'll never be one of us."

The thing is, you hear foreigners making gaijin jokes and comments all the time. Unless it's very polite company, I've never heard a foreigner refer to themselves as "gaikokujin." We refer to gaijin hangouts, gaijin idiosyncrasies, and even the gaijin card that we all have to carry. And although I wouldn't get angry, I would think it was impolite for a Japanese person to call me gaijin.

So, is this hypocritical of me? I don't know. Maybe it is, but maybe it's a unity mechanism. Maybe it falls along the train of thought that "no, we'll never be one of them, but we'll always have each other."

I'd like to stress again that the "gaijin" issue doesn't really compare to what African Americans have faced, in most circumstances (you can still find a random elderly Japanese person who hates all foreigners... but I think we have our fair share of those in the US, too). In Japan, foreigners are generally treated with an enormous amount of respect and dignity, as opposed to the relatively recent history of blacks in the US. Just my disclaimer.

But that experience does help me understand.

Originally when I was plotting this post out in my head, I was going to write on the "gringo/a/oes" issue as well, but I feel unqualified. But if my friends with Hispanic experience would like to comment on how they take being called "gringo," please share. Maybe it's not comparable, but I've somewhere along the line acquired the notion that being called a "gringo" was a little jab.

I was also reminded of the word "Gentile."

Any other delicate terms you can think of?

*I think it only exasperates the problem by calling it "the 'n' word," you know, the whole Harry Potter, "the one whose name we do not speak" (Voldemort) issue. But 1) I don't have the guts to use it, 2) someone somewhere would be hurt by it, and 3) I don't want people googling that word and ending up at my site.

Truth is Truth

My personal faith mantra is "God is good. God is faithful." I'm convinced this is the key to my sanity. One of the truths that I hang my hat on is the fact that the Bible is the word of God. Generally, most Christians I know have what I believe to be a somewhat skewed understanding of Biblical truth, usually that is a historically accurate rule book for life. If you're looking for a history book, there are probably a lot of better sources than the Bible. And if a rulebook is what you're looking for, then that could be confusing because sometimes the "rules" contradict each other.
But what I do believe the Bible is is a revelation of the character of God and timeless truth. I read a book a few months ago called Velvet Elvis (an attempt to be the new Blue Like Jazz, but an overall good book), and the author made a point that I took to heart. The Bible is our story, not just the story of a bunch of people thousands of years ago in the middle east. We were the ones who fell in the garden of Eden, we were led out of Egypt, we wandered 40 years in the desert until God handed over the promised land to us, etc etc. It was like being given fresh eyes when I started thinking of the Bible like that. The Bible stops being a historical account of how God once worked and starts being a timeless account of humanness and God's unrelenting faithfulness.
Mike Cope wrote a blog series on the Bible a few weeks ago, and one of the most beautiful points I thought he made was that he feels like "the Bible knows me." I dare suggest that everyone who encounters the Bible in a healthy environment has felt it speak a deep truth they recognize (I say healthy environment because sometimes people have taken that "sword of the spirit" thing the wrong way and chopped off some peoples' heads). I've seen the Word speak to people many times through LST.
I would add to Cope's statement that not only does the Bible know me, but it likes me. As cliche as it is, the Bible is one big love story. I think sometimes we breeze over this statement because it's not a love story we are taught to long for. In the words of Chris Rice, "sometimes love has to drive a nail into it's own hand." It's a true love-- sacrificial and committed and forever.
Not sure what brought this blog on... maybe I'm just falling in love all over again with my true love.

Very Important PSA

If you didn't know I was neurotic before reading this post, you will shortly. :)

One of the great passions of my life is oral hygiene. I haven't always been this way, but somewhere along the line in college the spirit convicted me. Growing up, my family always had their bi-annual dental checkups, and although I always took alright care of my teeth, I usually had at least one cavity.

But it all changed one day in college. I was at a meeting of Outreach, OC's missions club, and for some reason the speaker asked anyone who flossed daily to raise their hand. Out of a room of 50+ students, only one girl raised her hand! I mean, I flossed a couple of times a week, but not every day. I became convinced that this was gross and I must change immediately. So since then I have been a daily flosser. My favorite floss is the plain, waxed, mint kind from Johnson and Johnson, but some others can substitute.

From the daily flossing grew the habit of brushing my teeth thoroughly. At one point in college I would use an electric toothbrush then follow up with a manual toothbrush, although now I'm down to just a manual, but boy what a toothbrush it is!!! I just bought a new one the other day, and decided to upgrade, so I got the Oral B CrossAction Vitalizer. I am already super-impressed and recommend it to everyone. My gums already look a healthier pink.

Along with brushing goes toothpaste, of course. And I happened to run out this week, so I had the pleasure of choosing new toothpaste, which is fun but high pressured for me. I ended up choosing Colgate Total. My priority in toothpaste choice is tatar and plaque control, although the market shows that most people care about whitening. I care about whitening, but for some reason I'm distrustful of whitening toothpastes.

Last but not least is the piece de resistance... Listerine! I can already hear some of you moaning, but really, this is a fabulous product. I think I started using Listerine on the advice of my roommate, Tomoko's, mother. I really find it quite the miracle product. It keeps breath fresh (no nasty morning breath when you wake up), kills germs, and I believe keeps you healthier. I know it burns, but that just means it's working!!! ;)

It is my hope that at least one loyal reader will take inspiration from this blog, and make a positive change in their dental upkeep habits. No telling how much you could save in time, money, and pain if you take simple precautions now! AND I heard on TV the other day that regular brushing and flossing reduces the likelihood of a heart attack. Not really sure about the science of that, but an actual doctor wearing scrubs on TV said it. :)

So go on, make the time and relatively tiny financial investment and do something good for yourself!

Thoughts worth thinking

"Don't allow fear of the unknown to cause you to miss out on what God wants to do through you. Worse than failure is living with the regret of never having stepped out in faith to pursue your vision."
~ Andy Stanley



"No reserve. No retreat. No regrets."
~ William Borden



"We can choose to live more simply that others may simply live. There is enough to go around, but sharing our abundance with others will call us to cut back somewhere, to limit ourselves voluntarily, to live a lifestyle that reflects our knowledge of the condition of people in our world."
~ Paul Borthwick


Blatently stolen from the blog of meu amigo de peito.

Motivation!

As many of you know, I majored in teaching English as a foreign language in college, and I also studied a few langauges. So, as I figure, in theory, I should be pretty good at learning foreign languages since I've studied technique and theory and all of that. But the cold, honest truth is that I'm really not! And while there are a few reasons, I can give you the #1 reason why I and most people have such difficulty learning foreign languages...

MOTIVATION!

Studies show that the true, defining factor of success at foreign language learning is attitude and drive. But I suppose that's probably true in many arenas in life... but we're talking about languages. :)

So I look at my own history. Spanish... yeah I liked it, but I liked it in the sense that you like knick knacks... a fun thing to have and play with once in a while, but not really that big a deal. Hebrew was great; I loved it and did really well while I was actually studying. I think I did have motivation there... a great teacher, the best study partner in the world, and some healthy competetion. :) Japanese... yeah, that didn't go well at all. And I admittedly had a horrible attitude about it from the beginning. Any coincidence? And of course Portuguese... let's just say I've found motivation. :) We'll see how it turns out!

So all that to say... well... not sure what the point of this blog is. Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Tchau!

What, did you think this was going to be some big spiritual anecdote? ;)

Saudade

Thought this might interest those linguists of my friends.

Saudade (pronounced saw-oo-da-ji) is my favorite Portuguese word, unless you're judging strictly by cuteness of the word, in which case it's abacaxi (pineapple-- pronounced ah-ba-ka-shi) or by frequency of word use, in which case it's probably querido/a (dear one-- pronounced ke-ri-do).

This word has been on my mind lately. It even has its own Wikipedia entry, located here. Apparently saudade was ranked in the top ten of most difficult words to translate... in the whole world (interesting list, by the way!).

The simple definition is "homesickness," but if you follow the link you'll see it's more complicated. I think they define it well, as "feeling of longing for something you are fond of, which is gone, but might return in a distant future." It's a word of hope and love, I think.

I think words are an incredible gift from God, and carry enormous power. That's why I feel that "political correctness" (a terrible phrase with negative connotation), or let's say "lexical sensitivity", is so important. Words shape the way we view the world, connect with other people, and oftentimes praise God. God brought the creation into being through speaking words, Jesus spoke words to calm the storm, raise the dead, heal the sick, and teach us to pray. Consider these verses:

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. --Proverbs 15:4

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. -- James 3: 3-12

I'm thankful that English is a language that borrows words from so many other languages to help get the exact definition. I'm thankful to have other languages to borrow words from when they're more appropriate. And I'm thankful for good times and good friends who give me the fond memories, teaching me exactly what saudade is.

Short and Sassy???

Today I had a consulatation with my hair stylist about the mullet problem. I'm very very tempted to chop it all off... well not ALL off, just even it up. But that will be short short short. I've never had short hair. I'm not sure what to do, but my hair does look ridiculous in its current state. So... opening up the polls... should I go for it and just get it cut? I would post a picture of how I look now, but like I said, my hair looks stupid and I'm too vain for that. :)

Who'd have thought...

It seems that against many odds, I have made it to 24. 23 was quite a year. I lived in Asia, had my first real job, my first real vacation, and then almost died. But hey, we made it.

Here's hoping for 24 (or more) more.

Thought for the day: "I am loved, and life is mine" by the always appropriate Chris Rice

Not a Mullet!

So... one of the side effects of months upon months of malnutrition is hair loss. Yeah. So my hair has thinned out A LOT. When I go to wash my hair I joke with my family that I'm going to "wash my three hairs" (Simpsons joke-- Homer has a 3 hair comb-over).

This whole situation had started to really worry me. I'm not really a vain person, I don't think, but what girl really wants to lose more than half of her hair! Or boy for that matter!

But alas, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have new hair growth that is about an inch long all over my scalp! But right now it's at a terrible length to work with. It pretty much sticks straight up or out, depending on location. So, between the short hair making an appearance and my thinned-out long hair... I believe it looks like I am sporting a mullet.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hahaha, I laugh about it, but it does make me sort of self-conscious. But it's a good lesson in humility, I suppose. So if you see me while my hair is still in it's awkward adolescent phase, be kind and remember, it's not a mullet. :)