Learning from my hobby

Why can't I learn about the beauty of people from the flowers I love to photograph?

Beautiful in birth...



Beautiful in death...



Beautiful in weirdness... :)




And most beautiful when they shine as they were created to.

Family Photo Friday- McBirthday

In honor of my birthday this week, here is a classic childhood birthday party shot. I believe this was when I turned 6 or 7.

Love is gonna break through

I love daffodils. To me they are the first sign of resilient spring life after the winter.

From lifeless, brittle Oklahoma grass pokes through small green stalks...

That bloom to reveal what has been growing beneath the surface all winter.

It hits me like lightning
That love must keep fighting
And somehow, every time
Love is gonna break through.
-Chris Rice

Family Photo Friday- Rebel without a cause

This is my dad. Hmm, wonder where I get my rebellious streak from. :)

Neglected praise

I blatantly stole this idea from Abraham Piper at 22 Words, but I find myself quoting it so often that I wanted to do my own list.

10 things we don’t mention in worship songs, but that I’m happy God saved me from:

1. Gangs
   
2. Hypochondria
3. Fear of the dark
4. Attracting men with my cleavage
5. Timidity
6. Being satisfied with the ordinary
7. Legalism
8. Internal bleeding
9. Being a theological snob
   
10. The things I thought I would make me happy
    

Family Photo Friday- Willie and Billy

These are my mother's family's Siamese cats, Willie and Billy. The note on the photo says they were 10 weeks old on October 15, 1967. That is my grandmother's handwriting.


This is my cat, Penny Lane, February 2009. :)

My 1 in 2018

My favorite radio show had the funniest opening act last Saturday, where they took the Drake Equation, used to determine the number of planets in the universe capable of sustaining life, and applied it to single people wondering how many potential mates there are for them in their part of the universe. Seriously.

So here is my Drake Equation. Let's call it the Ann Equation.

I'll start by narrowing it down to Oklahoma, even though that's still quite broad for my personal geography.

Population of Oklahoma- 3,450,000

Population of Oklahoma Males- 1,725,000

Population of Oklahoma Males ages 25-34 (13.1%)- 225,975

Population of Oklahoma Males ages 25-34 and not married or divorced (44%)- 99,429

Population of Oklahoma Males ages 25-34 and not married or divorced with a college education (20.3%)- 20,184 (not necessarily mandatory but hey, why not throw it in)

And let's say I find only 10% of men attractive. Let's be honest, this number is quite high. In reality I don't think anyone finds 10% of people attractive. But anyway. That gives me...

2018

That is the pool I have to work with in the entire state of Oklahoma, when applying the principles of the Drake Effect. And let's be honest, that's not encouraging. Because think of all the other factors! Christian, emotionally stable, no felony records, adherence to dental hygiene standards... the list goes on. :)

Anyhoo, see what you learn listening to public radio? Can you figure out your equation?

And let me say for the record, at the end of the day you just have to find one. The right one. :)

With many thanks to the US Census.

Family Photo Friday- Just Married

These are my paternal grandparents. Just married. Aren't they a handsome couple? Still are. :)

Sunrise, sunset

This is how the day began:

And this is how the day ended:

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands." Ps 19:1

Tornadoes on a balcony

Here is a little video (about 2.5 minutes) of scenes from what tornado season is like in Oklahoma. Yesterday's storm system passed pretty close to our school, so we had a good view of it.

Why? Because when the tornado sirens go off, you don't take cover... you grab a camera and head outside! :)

I kid. Please always take necessary severe weather precautions. And as we now know perhaps 15 people died yesterday in Lone Grove, our prayers are with them. Could have been any of us yesterday.

Angels among us

One of my strangest travel stories is also one of my first.

In the summer of 2001, I went to Brazil on a mission trip for 6 weeks. I don't think it's an overstatement to say that that experience changed the course of my life.

On the way home I was so sad to be leaving Brazil. I cried and cried on the bus to the airport, and took one of my relaxant pills to get some sleep on the plane.

I sat next to a woman who I don't remember talking to until our descent. She was an older woman from the northern US who was traveling in her retirement with some of her girlfriends. She asked why I had been in Brazil, and in my muscle relaxant stupor and sad tears, I told her about the trip.

She then gave me the coin pictured above. I'm not an "angel" type person; nothing against them, it has just never been a key point of my theology. But the gesture touched me deeply and made the tears flow more quickly. As we reached our destination I said goodbye and soon forgot her.

But the strange thing is that since that day, I have carried that coin in my wallet. Almost 8 years now. Of all the things I've lost, I haven't lost that coin. Of all the travels, illnesses, wallet changes... it remains in my coin purse to this day.

Such a small token of kindness, but I believe it has reverberated through the years, and I don't think it's done with me, yet.

Family Photo Friday- Frances

I've always been the genealogist in my little branch of the family, and lately I've been scanning in a lot of old photos to help me with that.

That inspired me to do start Family Photo Friday. This is actually the picture that inspired me to it.

Time doesn't change some things that run in the family. :)


This is my maternal grandmother's cousin, Frances. They roadtripped from Arkansas to California, and judging by the photos, had a blast.

Traveling light

The thing about baggage is that you think you need it. Call it preparedness, caution, learning from experience- justify it however you'd like.

It's at the point of speculation at the beginning of the journey that baggage doesn't really feel like a burden, it feels like reassurance.

But it's in moving forward that you have to bear the weight you are choosing to carry.

So choose your baggage carefully. Figure out which things are worth holding on to, and what things you just have to let go.

If it had to perish twice...

Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost

These words make me think that Mr. Frost and I may have had a few things in common. I am a fiery, passionate woman, but my heart can also run cold with a stony frigidity that frightens me.

These are some photos I took this morning in my neighborhood. It's amazing how living organisms can survive under a blanket of ice.



Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Uphill Battle

Please forgive me for looking cracked out in this video. And shaking. It was flipping cold. And I had just spent an hour between scraping off my car and trying to get home.

Welcome to Iceklahoma!

Get Motivated

I used to make fun of those "motivational" posters that could be often found in workplaces. There's even a hilarious parody site that cracks me up called "Demotivators."

But ya know what? I've been humbled to learn that those positive mantras are quite powerful!

A few months ago, I came across a writer whose personal quote was:

"You can't make things tough enough for me to complain."

I was struck by that, because I heard it at a time when I was thinking about one of the most powerful living testaments to that philosophy in my life. I love how the foundational belief of that statement is, "I am stronger than this moment when I'm frustrated, tired, impatient, etc. Good will prevail!"

So I've been trying every day since then to live up to this motto. And some days I fail (and how), but some days I make it, and I know it makes a difference in my life and hopefully in the lives of those around me. So far I'm just experimenting at work, but soon I need to transfer it to other realms of my life. And so far it isn't getting easier, but I believe that it is worthwhile to persevere through.

I've been meaning to mock up my own little motivational plaque to set next to my computer at work to keep me accountable. Next thing you know I'll have a little zen rock garden. But hey, whatever works. :)

Let's try something new

I was thinking about things I like a lot and how I want to share them with people, and how I'd like to hear what else other people are liking.

So, in the spirit of trying new things, here is my proposal. Try one of my recommendations, and leave me a comment to recommend something I will try it in return.

The only guidelines I would ask are that they be free/low cost and non-political.

MUSIC
Justin Rizzo- His new album, Found Faithful, has quickly become one of my all time favorite albums. I got it 2 months ago and have listened to it almost constantly since. Most of my other music has gone by the wayside. Click his name to go to his myspace page and listen to "Spontaneous Psalm 1." Great example of prophetic, scriptural music.

BLOG
"Twenty Two Words" by Abraham Piper is a great blog. He posts several entries a day, but because each entry is only 22 words, it's like bite-sized goodness. He challenges me to be succinct and meaningful in my writing.

RADIO/PODCAST
My name is Ann, and I am a "This American Life" evangelist. Give a little listen to just one sample episode. "The Break-up" is great.

Alright, now it's your turn.

Color me bad. Or good.

It's interesting to see how different colorizations can change the mood of a photo so much.

For example, here is a photo I took tonight at OC on my way across campus going home from work.


Now here is that picture with a photoshop treatment called "Lovely and Ethereal". It's a subtle change, but I love how it makes it all melty and beautiful, really highlighting the sunset on the horizon.


Now check out this treatment, called PW's B&W. It's suddenly like the setting for a ghost story. Or maybe the beginning of a tornado.


Switch that to a Sepia tone, and now it feels very Oklahoma Western.


This is a peculiar but fun little action called Heartland that reminds me of a vintage postcard.


And last but not least, another one of my favorite actions called Colorized.


These actions, all from the Pioneer Woman and available at her website, are lots of fun if you use Photoshop.

Why The Bachelor makes me thankful

Times are tough in TV land, and tonight I settled on The Bachelor from sheer lack of other choices.

Surprisingly, this experience made me more thankful than anything.

Things I am thankful for after watching The Bachelor

1. I don't see a direct correlation between the amount of cleavage I show and my ability to engage a man's attention.
2. I am recognizable once I take off my make-up.
3. I know how to use the word "literally" correctly.
4. The majority of my income does not go towards my wardrobe.
5. I don't consider other women in my life competition.
6. My love and heartbreak aren't being broadcast on network television.

This is probably the last episode I'll watch. One dose of thankfulness is enough.

Off the wagon

If there is one thing I hate most, it is being wrong. No, really. I hate being wrong. Perhaps the only thing I hate more than being wrong is someone pointing out when I'm wrong. It's a terrible personality flaw caused by a deeply rooted sin problem, and something I have always struggled with- chronic performance syndrome. Always trying to be perfect so you'll like me. :)

That said, a recent realization drives me nuts. I fell off the dang bandwagon. Last July I posted about my weight loss last year, and kept on losing for several months after that. Until I went to Paris, I guess, all was great. But then it was too cold to run outside, and I got lazy and fell into that easy trap of thinking that weight loss/exercise was a means to an end rather than a change of lifestyle and mindset. It's easy to enjoy the fruits of all your labor and forget that you still have to labor to keep those fruits!

So I've screwed up. And gained weight. Not a horrifying amount, but enough to piss me off. No running for a month, and then instead filling said month with Christmas treats is brutal! And stupid! I hate being stupid.

But like I said a few posts ago, it's a new day! And I've been detoxing for the past week or so. Next week the gym opens and I'll be a rat once more. So there you go, my little confessional. Not only that I fell off the wagon, but that it makes me mad to a disturbing degree. Don't expect me to admit I screwed up again for a while. ;)

The personality remains

It's fun to look back through old pictures and see how my personality was well in place early on.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Hey! I've gotten that look from Ann!" Ah yes, it's true. I had it down by 4 months.

Lord have mercy, baby's got her blue jeans on... I like to shake my little tush on the catwalk.

This was my favorite outfit in kindergarten. Once again, posing.

Chillin' with my homeys at the pool. At this point, though, I only had 1 homey- my cabbage patch doll (to the left of me). And massive sunglasses.

Brace yourself for the piece de resistance... Consider this my late Christmas present to you.

I roared laughing for about 5 minutes when I saw this. :) Bless my little 80s heart. And believe you me, I thought I was smokin' hot. It takes confidence to go toothless with a perm and side pony tail.

Fresh start

Technically, it's just another day. But it's new day- a fresh start. I bought my favorite day planner for the year, and it's empty. Clean slate.

Write in those evenings with friends.
Write in the nights at the gym.
Write in weekends to go home and spend with family.
Write in loved ones' birthdays and anniversaries.
Write in time alone.
Write in the important things that may quickly go by the wayside as other things fill up your schedule.

It's a new day. And if you screw today up, there's always tomorrow. It'll be a new day, too.

2008 Sojies

The past two years I've written the "Sojie Awards"- how's that for self-aggrandizement? :) While filling it out this year, though, I realized I didn't like several of the questions, so I'm writing my own year end review using some of the old questions but also throwing in some new ones.

2008 Sojies!

HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
The trip to Honduras was such a magnificent and profound blessing. Paris was also perfect. :)

LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
Ooooh my. Some fractured relationships were very painful this year.

LESSON LEARNED THIS YEAR?
You can't control how people act; you can only control how you react to them.

BEST HOLIDAY?
Hmm... I really am not sure. Fourth of July at IHOP was pretty great, although it had nothing to do with the holiday.

SONG FOR 2008?
"Divine Romance" by Phil Wickham

BEST MOVIE OF 2008?
I almost hate to type this because it makes me feel so... unlike me, but "Fireproof." There- I said it!

BEST BOOK OF 2008?
I didn't read nearly as much this year as I usually do, so this is hard. Honestly, I think the Bible. I read it a lot more and with fresher eyes than I ever have, and it's been life-changing.

BEST TV SHOW OF 2008?
Watch me buck the system and say "This American Life", the RADIO show on NPR hosted by Ira Glass. Truly, very few earthly things bring me greater pleasure than this show. Seriously- go to their favorite episodes page and listen to some of them. I suggest "The Legend of Bobby Dunbar" or "24 Hours at the Golden Apple" (the first one I heard) to get a feel for what TAL is all about. Ooh, or "The Break-up"! I could nerd-lovishly babble forever, so I'll stop.

ANY REGRETS?
Making old mistakes in new ways. Blargh.

BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
I know this sounds weird and vague, but there was a very specific moment in Honduras when I knew I had to just let go and let God work.

BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?
I went to Europe. I've worked at a real job for over a year. I lost 30 pounds. I think I'm growing up. :)

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
Not much planned yet.

WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR NEXT YEAR?
Keep working on my running goals, become more active in my field, re-evaluate ministry involvement and try some new things, become a trophy wife... ;)

Here's to 2009! Health, happiness, and all kinds of good things to you and yours.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from me and mine to you and yours. :)

And because this can never really go well...Feel free to add your own caption to this one.

Christmas cookies

Everyone needs a friend.

Cookie recipe from the Pioneer Woman.

Do not lose heart

I'm sitting here in my office on a Saturday afternoon, eyes swollen and red, tear tracks down my face, nose stuffy, and my heart broken.

I just came from the funeral of Dr. John Thompson, Professor of History at OC and a truly extraordinary man. I think I heard of Dr. Thompson before I even heard of OC. My youth minister adored him and told stories of his big hands and booming laugh and storytelling lectures that would enthrall students. Since I was a student here, and I found out recently for the past 20 years, his health has been pretty bad. His body ravaged by diabetes, kidney failure, and other health problems.

But it seemed as his body withered his spirit flourished. I think there are actually very few great teachers in the world, but Dr. Thompson certainly was one of them. Oh, to sit at his feet for another class or two or twenty. He was such a scholar. And he loved what he did. Stories abound of him padding around campus in house slippers, being rolled in his wheel chair up the big hill to the history building, and even delivering lectures from his hospital beds via speaker phone. He loved what he did, and he was outstanding at what he did.

There are people who love what they do and throw their hearts into it, and people who do enough to get by. Lately I've been having this crisis of conscience about my job. I love what I do, where I work, and the people I work with. And while that is a blessing that I know many people don't have, it puts you in such a vulnerable place. The more you love something, the more susceptible you are to it breaking your heart.

Even at Oklahoma Christian University, some days the faculty can be arrogant, the students can have bad attitudes, the staff can be apathetic and the administration can be distant (I myself have fallen into all those categories). And those days break my heart, because Satan makes me doubt that what I believe and am throwing my heart and career into is all for naught.

But then I am brought back to the truth on days like today, looking around an auditorium of hundreds of people from this dear community mourning the loss of a friend who stood for all the good we work towards. Dr. Thompson could have had a great job at another university with more money and prestige. He could have just retired when his health took a downturn, rather than joyfully and uncomplaining continuing to serve our campus. And I know over the years he must have had his heart broken, because he so freely offered it to all of us who crossed his path.

So although my heart is broken, I'm praying that it will be broken open to this community that I love and I will one day be able to in some small way leave a legacy like Dr. Thompson.

I'll leave you with the verse that Dr. Thompson left for all of us:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. -II Corinthians 4:16-18

Little things

Sometimes it's the little things that can turn around a craptastic week.

Like my boss bringing a chair masseuse into the office as a Christmas surprise.

Or finding a fantastically 80s-rific picture of me and my cousin.


Or eating a Christmas Cadbury creme egg.


Yep, sometimes it's the little things.

Kids at Christmas

A few weeks ago I heard this story on NPR about how the USPS lets people come and open letters to Santa they receive at Christmas so people can choose to fulfill children's wishes. The program has been going on for over 20 years apparently, and they interviewed one man who had participated for almost that long.

He noted the change in children's requests over the years. When he first said that, I thought "Oh, kids are probably asking for more and more high dollar, high tech toys now", but instead he commented on how often now children are asking for the necessities of life, such as clothes, shoes, coats, and school supplies.

It really broke my heart. Christmas is a great time to be a kid, and they shouldn't have to ask Santa for the things that they need day to day. The whole world is telling them all the toys they should want and all they're asking for is what they shouldn't have to ask for, anyway.

Some friends at church offered to financially sponsor a child if someone else could shop for them, as they don't have time. So I volunteered, as I am in an opposite situation- little money, plenty of time. :) They let me pick the child out and I chose a six year old kid who only asked for a coat and shoes. And so I will pick out those things, but also something that will hopefully make his eyes light up and let him feel like a kid who can just enjoy this special season.

It's been a tough year economically for our country and has especially hit those with little financial room to spare. If you can, consider finding an angel tree program or something similar and find a kid asking for just what they need to get buy, and give them even more than they're hoping for.

*Image from www.postsecret.com

A Tender OK Christmas

From the Oklahoma Capitol building:

Christmas grab bag

And since I don't know what to write... you get a vlog showing you my super cool Christmas gift from the party I went to Sunday. Don't you love the screen shot there? :)


Christmas grab bag from Ann W on Vimeo.

Reaping what you sow

"Am I sowing to the Spirit or sowing to the flesh,
I'm doing one or the other all the time...

And just like a farmer goes out to his field and sows a seed into the ground
Whatever he sows, that he will reap, whatever he plants, that will spring forth.

In the very same way, whatever seeds I'm sowing into my heart, it's guaranteed that I will reap the fruit of what I sow into the garden of my heart."

-Justin Rizzo, Indwelling Spirit

Lately this verse of this part of this song has been knocking around in my head and I can't seem to get it out. It's like one of those movies where the foreshadowing words literally echo across the walls and haunt the afflicted person. It's even worse when God does it, I assure you.

There is a beautiful tree on the corner at the end of my block. It's big and beautiful, and during the fall it was the most stunning shade of yellow. It truly took my breath away every time I saw it (yes, I am that sentimental). And despite the graciously prolonged fall that we had in Oklahoma this year, it still felt too soon that the leaves blew off and now it stands bare. And it will be that way until probably April. Same tree, different season.

I have felt very spiritually frustrated lately. Spring, summer, fall were such rich seasons for me spiritually, and I felt I could see changes day to day in growth and maturity. Then like that first cold slam of winter wind the season changed. And while I try to encourage myself to remember that winter is the time of unseen growth, I'm still frustrated.

I feel like it's a time of gritty faith. It's cold, and I feel bare and vulnerable and stagnant. My prayers feel hollow, worship feels empty, and community feels shallow. But I'm begrudgingly trusting that whatever spiritual seeds that were sown throughout the year are growing somewhere. White knuckle faith still counts as faith, right?

It's a season. And even winter has its moments of reprieve and beauty. And ya know what... spring will come again, and I am choosing to believe in faith that what has been sown will bloom.

Ready for Christmas!

I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS SEASON! I'm one of those who believes Christmas is fair game starting November 1st. Christmas movies are fair game post-Thanksgiving. Since yesterday I have been reveling in Christmas music and decorations, and am so pumped for what I'm sure with be truly the most wonderful time of the year! So in honor of open Christmas season, here's a little blog filler for you.

1) EGG NOG OR HOT CHOCOLATE?
Yes please! Hot nog! :)

2) DOES SANTA WRAP PRESENTS OR JUST SIT THEM UNDER THE TREE?
Santa sets presents under the tree, sans wrapping.

3) COLORED LIGHTS ON THE TREE OR WHITE?
Colored!

4) WHO DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE AT CHRISTMAS?
I'm very blessed to see a lot of people I love at Christmas. It'd be great to see them all, but I'm thankful already.

5) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY DISH (EXCLUDING DESSERT)?
This is hard! Probably my aunt Annie's amazing rolls.

6) WHEN DO YOU PUT YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS UP?
Beginning of November is fair game, thankyouverymuch. :)

7) FAVORITE HOLIDAY MEMORY AS A CHILD?
I can't peg just one memory.

8) WHEN AND HOW DID YOU LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA
I really have no idea.

9) DO YOU OPEN A GIFT ON CHRISTMAS EVE?
The White family has always done things differently since we generally drove at least 6 hours on Christmas to be with family. The immediate family always opens all gifts from each other on Christmas Eve.

10) HOW DO YOU DECORATE YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE?
Colored lights and family ornaments.

11) SNOW....LOVE IT OR HATE IT?
Love it when I don't have to be anywhere and I can just look at it through the window or play in it. Hate hate hate it to drive on.

12) CAN YOU ICE SKATE?
Not well...

13) DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FAVORITE GIFT?
I remember one year I got a Mickey Mouse watch that played music. That was pretty awesome. :)

14) WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS FOR YOU?
Good tidings of comfort and joy... Meditating on thankfulness and the incarnation.

15) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY DESSERT?
So hard! Sweet potato casserole. If it has marshmallows, it's a dessert. :)

16) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY TRADITION?
Easy! The 24 hour "The Christmas Story" marathon on TV! We have to watch it at least 3 times.

18) WHICH DO YOU PREFER: GIVING OR RECEIVING?
Giving, for sure.

19) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG?
So impossible! "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a current fave for cuteness, "Breath of Heaven" is very powerful, as is "Come, O Come Emmanuel." I absolutely can't choose. I love Christmas music.

20) ONE THING THAT UPSETS YOU AROUND CHRISTMAS TIME?
Thinking about people who spend the holidays alone

21) SOMETHING YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS CHRISTMAS?
Starbucks caramel apple spice, festive feelings of the holidays, seeing people I love, watching Christmas movies and singing Christmas songs

22) FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE?
I love Christmas movies! A Christmas Story, White Christmas, Elf, It's a Wonderful Life... oh the list goes on!!!!

I love me some Christmas!