Headed Home

Quick update for you loyal blog readers.

Looks like I am headed home in the next couple of days. My doctor and boss are really really pushing me to do it, and honestly it's what I want to do so I figure I should do it. (At my boss' insistence) the doctor gave me a tenteki (IV) full of the good stuff so I could at least function somewhat. I am pretty weak from eating only yogurt cups and toast for the past week or so. I also received a standing prescription to come and get an IV anytime I want this week, so that is great.

Thank you all for all of your support. If you'd like to pray more specifically for me and this situation, then here are some specifics:

Praises:

• my employer and co-workers who are being fabulous, truly more than I could ever ask for
• IV fluids
• my friends here who are taking care of me so well until I can get home

Requests:

• trying to find a somewhat reasonable airplane ticket (this could get ridiculous)
  
• as I try to make it through the physical strain of the trip back
• my doctors appointments and tests I will go through once home
• my family and me as we try not to worry or stress

Thank you again. Love you all. I'll update this post when I know what day I'm leaving.

*UPDATE*
The Lord provides! It seems like through this experience, each time I pray for God to provide for me He does in amazing and effective ways. Today two angels of mercy (who will remain anonymous because I think I'd embarrass them) helped arrange my flight home. I can't begin to explain what a load off my mind this is. You two know who you are and I thank you profusely!!!!! So now I will be leaving on Saturday, July 2 at 4pm from Narita Airport and arriving in Texarkana at 8pm on Saturday evening. Until then I'm going to try to get my apartment ready for being gone and gather my strength for the flight.

The GI Files

Hello again, all.
I just posted once, but I figure I owe my friends who read this an update on my physical condition. Frankly, I'll be honest and admit that I am reaching a stage where I am pretty sick of seemingly everyone knowing about my gastro-intestinal (GI) system, but I'm not going to complain about the fact that I have the "problem" of too many people caring. I am quite quite blessed with a wonderful support group throughout the world-- literally.
So here's the skinny (there's a pun there when you realize I've lost over 25 pounds). I'm still sick. Pretty sick. I have good days and bad days. Good days I can get through the day pretty well, my only problem being this constant exhaustion from malnutrition. Bad days I can't do much. This week I've had...4 bad days, 1 good day. So not a great week. Yesterday I went to work all day and today I went half a day. Now I'm so-so. My spirits hover around wherever my physical well being is, when I feel bad I am pretty low. When I feel good it's like nothing can phase me. Also, I'm re-honing my skill of pretending to be ok when I'm not. I know it's not healthy emotionally or physically, but it's a natural instinct.
So here's the plan. I go back to the doctor for blood test and check up. I'm going to show the doctor some of the research I've done (I've diagnosed myself with gastroparesis) and try to convince them to do something. Monday if I'm still not satisfied with my doctor experiences then I am going to ask my boss to make a rush trip home to go to my own doctor. If and when that happens, I will decide from there whether or not I can continue this job. I just can't go on being sick like this.
So that being said, I will appreciate your support and encouragement. Right now I'm dealing with an overflow of advice, so unless you've been in this exact situation I would appreciate if you'd just hold onto it unless I ask. :) My friends and co-workers are blessings beyond measure. Your prayers, emails, encouragement and acts of kindness truly overwhelm me. You are the hands and feet of Christ! I love you all and will keep you updated.

Five Things I Miss from Childhood

Wow! I've been "tagged". This has never happened before, so I will assume that it is a great honor. Thanks JettyBetty! My topic is "5 Things I Miss from Childhood," which I think is a little tricky since I'm pretty sure I'm still a kid. But for simplicity's sake and the purpose of this blog, we'll assume that my "kid-dom" ended when I went to college. Alrighty, here goes!

5 Things I Miss from Childhood

1. Stephenville, TX-- Stephenville was my hometown, and where I lived for 10 years of my growing up. Perhaps I remember it with rose colored lenses, but it was my Mayberry and I loved it. My best friends all lived in my neighborhood, the other side of town was 15 minutes away with traffic, and football was king. It was a great place. I haven't been there in 4 years. I'm almost scared to go because I know how much it's changed and I've changed and part of me wants to keep the illusion of my hometown alive.
   
2. Creativity-- For someone completely lacking it in now, as a child I had real creativity. I would play for hours in my imaginary world, thinking up characters and adventures. I miss being able to lose myself in my own worlds like that.
   
3. My little friends-- I was thick as theives with several little girls when I was a kid. There were Carrie and Erin (or "CarrieErin" as my dad would say) who lived two houses down from me, and my best friend Gina and her sister Mara who lived a couple of streets over. Carrie and Erin and I grew apart in high school, and Gina and Mara and I slowly drifted away over time, although we did exchange emails last year. I think our Mara may be going on to be a music star. She recently recorded a CD and it's even for sale at amazon. Keep an eye open for Bosque Brown. Also, I should give a shout out to my childhood homie Nina who I still talk to fairly frequently.
   
4. Rolly Pollies-- Also known as "pill bugs" by the less educated, these were my favorite animal growing up. Since I never had formal pets, I made do with what I had. I would host rolly polly colonies. They're just so... CUTE! I'll tell you of a great tragedy that once occured, though. I often hosted my rolly polly empires in the bottom halves of cut up gallon milk jugs. One time as a had a group going it rained during the night. Uh oh... yes, there was a mass drowning. I think I effectively massacred half of the rolly polly population in our yard.
   
5. High school football-- I vaugely referenced this earlier, but in Stephenville we had some ferocious school spirit. Football was king, and we were 4 time 4-A state football champions while I was associated with them (GO JACKETS!). I grew up going to football games Friday nights and in high school I was in the band, so I was always there. I loved the feeling of community and intensity and fun. Ask me about can-fans sometime. :) Somehow I managed to go to a college that didn't even have a football team. What is up with that?
   

Here's the tag part:
Remove the first person from the following list, bump everyone up one spot and put your name in the number 5 spot. Please link all of the blogs as they are linked now.

Journaling Through the Valley
Threefold Cord
Anne's Cafe
JettyBetty
Run the Earth, Watch the Sky

I'm also supposed to tag 4 people, but I'm not sure four people read the blog so if you read this and want to play along, gambatte kudasai! Go for it!

Happy Father's Day!

Today is the day to take time and honor those hardworking and faithful men in our lives. So to all you in blogland who have kids of your own or are influencing the lives of those around you.

So today I will pay special tribute to my dad, aka my most faithful blog reader. :) My father, one of the manliest men around, was blessed with two daughters. But he remained optimistic about the arrows in his quiver and was a great father to us. He taught us to drive and hunt and shoot a gun, ride a four wheeler and appreciate a good recliner. He has also encouraged me to be an independent thinker, even when that means that my conclusions are different from his own. But he seems to be handling that well. :)

I remember Father's Day two years ago quite well. I was in a hospital in Oklahoma City and my dad was having to work a lot of the time I was sick, so he was making fairly frequent 5 hour commutes between OKC and Texarkana. Well Father's Day was one of those days that he made the big drive, and I remember thinking how blessed I was to have a father who loved me enough to go through all the hassle just to get to me and spend a few days taking care of me. I'll never forget it.

So thank you, Dad, for everything. Happy Father's Day!


Molly, Dad, Ann-- Father's Day 2004

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Good times and good friends

Last night I had the honor of going to dinner with two of the most dashing gentlemen I know. That's right-- I got to spend the whole evening with Peter-san and Blake-san. They were wonderful enough to come up to Hitachi for dinner and nice conversation. What a treat! Once again I was reminded of how blessed I am not only to have amazing friends, but to have several of them in Japan with me!

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend". We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older. The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young. We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age when a busy life and changing geographies can cause us to neglect those friends. Today is the day to invest in those people we hope will call us 'old friend" in the years to come. --Grant Fairley

Blake, Peter, Ann

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Voice of Truth

I've been feeling pretty dreary in body and mind the last few days. Satan is truly the master of lies, and once he gets a foothold he can wreak havok if left unchallenged. This song is always a great reminder to seek the voice of the shepherd among the crowds and listen to the voice of truth.

"Voice of Truth" performed by Casting Crowns

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Great news! And okay news.

First I'd like to express my SHEER JOY that Chris Rice is coming out with a new album that will go on sale August 23!!!!!! You can hear clips of some songs here. It sounds great and I'm already so pumped about it. The great part is that on August 23 I will be at home visiting so I'll be able to get it ASAP! I am probably the only geek who is waiting at the doors for Mardel to open the day a Chris Rice CD is released. :) And did I mention that he has love songs on this CD? Chris Rice writing love songs now!?! Oh the anticipation!!!

Okay, rant over. Some people geek out over Star Wars, some over basketball, some over the Restoration Movement :) ... I like Chris Rice. And I'm not ashamed. :) Besides, I needed something to cheer me up.

My checkup today was alright, I guess. The good news is that my liver enzyme count went down to 75 (down 125 points for those counting) and my doctor was so pleased he said I don't have to have a blood test next week, but instead in two weeks. So that's good news. The not as good news is that I got wicked sick again this weekend, so I meant to interrogate my doctor about how long this enterocolitis is going to stay with me. To which he replied, (Ann doing her best Japanese doctor impersonation) "Hmm, I think your condition is caused by your previous surgery. So maybe your stomach condition is your friend" (emphasis put on the Japanesey parts). At the same time I felt disheartened and yet mildly angry at his cheeky response. So that being said, I don't know when I'll really feel better. I researched colitis on the internet and it can last a looong time apparently. My boss is still being great, but let's face it, they can't keep a dud ALT forever. So I'm going to work the best I can for as long as I can... we'll see. I'm going to school for half a day tomorrow, so keep me in your prayers as I try to re-enter normal society.

A splash of color

Realizing that my blog has been rather serious and somewhat dreary (in my opinion at least) for some time, I thought I'd lighten things up with a picture blog. No, they really have no relevance other than I want to post them and they make me happy. So here goes!


This is Meredith, me, and Amber in Honduras last summer. I was going for my JLo gangta look. You'll notice that Amber and I are in opposing gangs. Too bad, really. :) But right now my dear Meriadoc is in Honduras again probably having all kinds of fun and hijinx with our dear Amba.



I have been missing this crazy bunch of people a lot lately. This is, more or less, the 2000 Honors class from OC. This photo was taken after our first semester of college. Although we were known at times to have sharp disagreements, we also ultimately came to love and respect each other in a special way. I love these people so much!


This is my oldest friend Nina. She's not old, she's my age, but she is my oldest friend in that we've been friends for 17 years (since first grade with Mrs. Hayes) and still keep in touch. Nina says that this is a testimony to the power of the internet (since we've lived far away for 7 years now). I agree. In the picture we are pointing to Stephenville, where we grew up.


"I'm so vain... I probably think this blog is about me..." But really, I just received a CD-ROM with a lot of pictures from my campaign to Brazil last summer and this was on there. I like this picture because I believe I was really, really happy when this was taken.


Last but not least, here is a shot from a Toga party we Hitachi-folk had right before I got sick. I normally wouldn't have dressed up, but what the heck. It was a fun experience.

So there ya have it! Hope this is mildly entertaining to some. If not, stick around maybe I'll tickle your fancy later.

Peace.


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No, that wasn't my stomach problem...

Imagine my surprise and the surprise of those who visited me in the hospital when they came and realized that my room was nestled in the heart of the maternity ward. Ah yes, the foreigner and the mommies. Sounds like a bad premise for a sitcom. Anyway I think it was a blessing in disguise, in that my nurses were exceptionally kind (from dealing with mommies and babies all day long) and I didn't have to worry about being near creepy old Japanese men. Also, I got to witnesses some precious moments when daddies and grandparents and "big" brothers and sisters got to meet the newest member of the family. Japanese tend to be rather stoic when it comes to their families, so it was great to see those moments of pure joy on everyone's faces.
There were some downsides to my locale, the biggest being the noises. I was in the room closest to the delivery room... yeah just think about that for a moment. Let's just say that I said some prayers for some women who sounded like they needed them. Also I was very close to the nursery. Most babies are kept in the nursery for the first two days (the average stay of mother and child is 5-7 days), so I heard my share of crying babies. The poor things probably just wanted their mommies.
So there's another facet to my stay in the hospital.

How much do you really want to know?

Over the next few days while I'm at home resting I will try to bring to you some of the more interesting moments I had during my 12 day hospital stint. Here is one such story.

On the first day, since it was my first time at this hospital there were several forms for me to fill out. The secretary of the Board of Education, the aforementioned Ishii-san, was with me to help me.

We got to the last question on one sheet and Ishii-san paused and said, "Hmm, this is a difficult question." I urged her to go on and she said, "Okay, if you have cancer, you have four choices. First, you can be told the truth and your family will be told the truth. Second, you can be told the truth and your family will not be told the truth. Third, you will not be told the truth and your family will be told the truth. Fourth, you will not be told the truth and your family will not be told the truth."

Strange, huh? Well I decided to go with the first option, telling everyone the truth. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I cannot understand options 3 or 4. Personally I would never do option 2 either, but I find it more understandable.

My friends that I've told this story to seem to get a kick out of it. Hope you do, too. More to come.

Outtie

Good news all-

I busted out of the hospital today. Haha, that makes it sound like I left forcibly, but actually they let me go. So this experience and one of the books I read in the hospital have encouraged me to get serious about and step up my prayer life, so last night I prayed for two miracles-- one was that they would be able to get my bloodwork done on one try (which hadn't happened in the 6 prior blood works I'd had since this began) and that my liver enzyme levels will have gone down drastically. And the Lord answered those prayers! My favorite nurse was the one to do my bloodwork and she hit it on the first try, and then my results came back saying that my enzyme levels had dropped 100 points! (30 was the goal) So I am pretty happy. Of course it's going to be challenging to get back into normal life again and rebuild my strength, but I've been down before and with God and my friends, I can do anything I think.

I can't thank you all enough for all the prayers, visits, gifts, and well wishes.

I'll tell you some of the funny stories that happened later. Now I have got to get my tired bones to bed.

"I'm not dead yet... I'm Getting Better!"

Dear Blog-mmunity-
Greetings from Hitachi's best and brightest - Nisei hospital. My friend Judith is taking my written statement and posting it to the blog for me. Very kind of her. So no, I haven't gone and abandoned the blog. The day after my last post I went to the doctor and they admitted me to the hospital that afternoon for IV treatment. Long story short, despite some initial scares I was diagnosed with intercolitis, which is a viral infection of the intestine. The treatment was IV feeding and rest for several days. I guess I started feeling pretty good about Monday and figured I'd go home Tuesday. BUT... my blood tests revealed that the enzyme count in my liver was way high so I've been being held hostage since then while they try to diagnose the problem. At this point I'm frustrated and just want to go home. I feel alright, just a little tired and weak. My friends here have been great and taken very good care of me.
So there's the scoop. If they don't release me soon (ie Monday at the latest), I am making a break for it. I'll call the embassy if I have to =) I'll fill you in on the details of this "adventure" when I am released. Just keep me in your prayers, onegaishimasu. And my family. I think they're worried. =)
Love you all -
Ann

New blog theme-- sickness and spectacles

The kefir (thanks Stephen!) and the apple cider vinegar seemed to work really well for a couple of days, but last night suffered a great blow to their credibility in my mind. Last night whilst (a word I was reacquainted with at work today) shopping, I felt very ill very suddenly. The last place you want to feel really nauseous is a Japanese grocery store. Yuck.
Anyway, all that to say that despite trying these remedies last night and this morning I seem to only have digressed. I might keep trying with the kefir, but the apple cider vinegar isn't doing it for me. So tomorrow I'm reconciling with traditional medicine and going to the doctor. Please pray for me.

And now for the spectacle part, which might become a weekly Wednesday installment if the trend continues. Today was Health Check day, which meant that my co-workers and I went in for our yearly physical for those under national health care. I was actually kind of excited about the whole procedure because they are very thorough and check you for pretty much everything. Alina, Ishii-san (the Board of Education secretary) and I went together. Ishii-san is pretty good with English and Alina is great with Japanese, but as we still had some fun trying to decipher some of the ailments listed in the family history portion of the paperwork. We went through lots of tests-- chest x-ray, heart monitor, urine, vision, and last but not least, bloodwork.
I don't especially like blood work, but I don't become overly anxious about it. So my turn came and I bravely sat down. Alina and Ishii-san had already gone so they were waiting in the wings for me. They started, and despite my limited vocabulary I was able to ask my standard blood work question, "Daijobou desu ka?" or "Is everything okay?" The nurses assured me it was and so I waited. Then I realized that my hand was going numb from my fingertips up my arm. Sometime soon after that realization I started feeling very bad. The nurses must have realized it and stopped the procedure, but I was down for the count. I blacked out for a little while, but was still somewhat cognizant of what was going on around me. It felt like there were about 10 nurses gathered around me propping me up and asking me various questions in Japanese. Finally they got me to my feet and ushered me to the waiting lounge that had a couch and laid me down there, elevating my feet over my head.
The nurses were great. They just kept trying to soothe me and encourage me. One especially kind nurse stayed by my side through the whole thing and held my hand. Soon my blood pressure leveled out and I was revealed that they, in fact, did not get enough blood to do the tests, so I had to go for one more round. However the second time was a piece of cake and afterwards we got to go home.
So today, perhaps rather than having a "look at the foreigner!" moment I had a "look at the poor foreigner..." moment. I don't know which I'd rather have.

Overall... rough day. But I have faith that the Lord has provided thus far and will continue to do so.

Alternative Medicines

Hello all. Thought I'd update you from the sick bed. I have spent the last 48+ hours in my apartment and am going a little stir crazy. Thankfully I have had the internet, the phone, some videos, and a couple of good friends to amuse me.

One of those friends who came by, Raelynn, has also recently been plagued with stomach issues. I asked her for some advice and she presented to me some interesting alternative therapies. First is apple cider vinegar. Although the site I linked to looks less than reputable, it does give you a glimpse of all that it's supports claim it can do to heal the body. My first dose was about half a tablespoon mixed with a glass of water and lots o' honey. It definitely has a kick and I'll have to work up to higher dosages, but it wasn't terrible. It'll just take some getting used to. Apple cider vinegar is supposed to work to neutralize the acids in the stomach and aid in digestion.

Organic healer number two that my friend brought me is a substance known as "kiefer" (pronounced KEY-FUR). I honestly don't know how you spell it. I tried to google it but no spellings I can think of came up with too many matches, which means that I cannot direct you to a nice internet explanation of the stuff. But I'll do my best to tell you. It is basically fermented milk. You can actually make your own kiefer, which Raelynn did and brought me. You take these grains (the origin of which no one is really sure of) and place them in a jar. Then you pour some milk into the jar, leave the jar out for a couple of days (without an airtight lid), strain away the liquid from the grains, and boom, you got your kiefer. Then you rinse the grains, put them into the jar again, and pour more milk in to make even more kiefer. I hear that the grains also "multiply" somehow... that freaks me out a little, but hey, I'm living in the alternative world now. Kiefer's kind of yogurty and definitely has a kick to it. Raelynn make me a chocolate kiefer shake, and I made some more with strawberry syrup and honey. I'm not bold enough to eat it plain just yet. Kiefer is supposed to add good bacteria to your stomach while destroying bad bacteria.

Although I have long been a girl who put her faith in God and traditional medicine, at this point I am willing to try anything. I tried "doses" of both of these cure tonight and honestly, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm not sure if it was either of these items that made me feel so, or maybe it's having a placebo effect, but honestly I don't care. :) I feel better and I was able to eat some and that's all that matters right now. I'll keep you updated on how things turn out.

Has anyone else out there tired any "non-traditional" therapies for their illnesses? Have they worked? Please share. This subject intrigues me now.

Still Sick

I've been wanting to avoid talking about it on the blog much, but I'm still sick from last week when I had the doctor's visit I chronicled. I don't know what's going on. My stomach is on a roller coaster; I go from feeling great for a few hours to feeling terrible for a few hours. I'm going to devote this weekend to resting and relaxing, so hopefully that'll push me towards the road to recovery. So please keep me in your prayers.

Also, and perhaps because of my not feeling well, I am so homesick. I especially miss my family and American food. I just want to go home, for a visit or for forever. I miss home.

Sorry to be unentertaining and depressing today. Just wanted to share with the blog-munity.

Ki o tsukete!

Maybe no one will find this amusing, but I had a good "look at the weird/dumb foreigner" moment tonight and thought I'd share it since the blog has been lacking in Japanese experiences lately.

Tonight I was riding the bus home from the station. I got on the bus early and waited. There was one other man on the bus, a "salary-man" (or businessman) who looked purely exhausted and was drifting quickly into sleep. My heart went out to the guy since I knew he'd probably been working since 8 this morning (and this was 9:15 at night).

As we were approaching my stop, I reached up and pushed the buzzer to alert the driver. As I did, my drink fell to the floor with a crash and rolled to the feet of sleeping man. I felt bad as I thought that I'd probably startled everyone, especially the businessman. Since we were stopped at a light, I got up to retrieve my drink. Just as I bent over, the completely predictable happened: the bus driver chose that moment to let off the brake and inch up on the light. In a gloriously ungraceful moment I found myself splayed out on the bus floor on top of sleeping man's feet. And I fell out of my shoes. And I hit my chin on something.

So I tried to gather myself, but by this point the bus was moving again so it was difficult. At some point in my struggles the bus driver realized something was going on and called back something, to which I replied "Daijobou desu!" (It's okay!). I sat with my face in my hands until my stop and then ran off the bus. As I was exiting, however, the bus driver called, "Ki o tsukete!" (Be careful!) :) I have a feeling he was not concerned about bad men hiding in the shadows, but instead about me tripping over my own feet as I walked home.

Yeah, it was embarrassing, but I laughed the whole way home. It'd been a while since something dumb and funny had happened to me, so it was somewhat refreshing to just laugh at myself for a while. Hope someone else got a chuckle out of it.

By the way, my chin feels fine now. :)

Second Parents

Mike Cope blogged the other day about the special role of second parents that so many play in the lives of others in our society today, where oftentimes parental role models are lacking. Several commenters on the blog then pointed out that oftentimes it's not just the parent-less to benefit from the surrogate parents; oftentimes those of us with wonderful familial support are also blessed by having adopted moms and dads. I know that I have, so today I'd like to give them blog props. :)

In college I was doubly blessed to gain both an adopted set of parents and grandparents.

Bob and Donna Carpenter are... great. :) Just mentioning them brings a smile to my face. I first met them when I went to Brazil the first time; they were kind enough to host a dinner my mission team since they were missionaries in Brazil for several years. Bob's a professor of missions and world religions at OC, and so over the years I took several classes with him (I can think of 5 off the top of my head). Bob and Donna trained my mission team the second year I went to Brazil, and Bob was actually on the team, so you know those 4 weeks provided some great bonding time. All these experiences were great for growing in friendship and even a mentoring relationship, but they became my second parents when I was sick. They were at the hospital the morning of my surgery with my parents and the McBrides. They stayed with my family throughout the whole surgery (5+ hours) and then were at the hospital nearly every day that I was there (over a month). Donna was the only person I let sit with me other than my mom or dad, and even spent the night in the hospital to give my mom a break. After I was out of the hospital and for the next semester of school, whenever I was sick (which was often) I always had a room at their house where I could hide from it all. Donna would go to the doctors visits with me whenever my mom couldn't come up. And although I'm sure having a sickly pseudo-daughter complicated their life, they never once made me feel like a burden. I love them for their example of Godliness and faithfulness and generosity of time and love (and house!).

*I don't have a picture of Bob and Donna! :( If someone has one (M&K?) could you send it to me so I can show them off?

Bailey and Joyce McBride, who I've referenced several times on the blog (yes, I'm an admitted Baileyite), are my second grandparents. Bailey is the director of the honors program at OC, so I met him in the interview process before I even attended the school. Although we weren't close for my first year or two of school, I was always taken back by the amount of interest and compassion he showed for his students. He always closely followed my mission trips and told me how proud of me he was. Despite a lack of a personal relationship, there came a time my junior year when I needed help, and I turned to him and he welcomed me with open arms. He loved on me and prayed over me and carried me through some hard times. Then of course was the baptism of fire that came when I was sick. Much like Bob and Donna, Bailey and Joyce were always there. I actually met Joyce on the day of my surgery, but you'd never know it the way she was showering my family and me with love and attention. But she and Bailey were also there just about every day that I was in the hospital. More than anything I am eternally grateful for their prayers. When they say they pray for me daily I know those aren't idle words; they truly do pray for me. And I know those prayers have carried me through times I wouldn't have been able to go through alone.


Bailey and Joyce McBride (and me)

I have been blessed unimaginably by my "extended family." I pray that God gives me the opportunities to pass on and reflect this love that I've been shown.

I have an idea. I would like to decree that May 29 is "Second Parents Day." It falls right between Mother's Day and Father's Day, so it's perfect. Hallmark will love me for this. But really, take a day... maybe May 29th... and thank those who have adopted you into their families.

The Grieving Process

For the past several weeks I have been reading the blog of Joe and Laura Hays, church planters living in Brooklyn. Their baby was recently born with a life threatening condition and they are updating friends and family (and strangers like me) about it. He is continuing to fight day by day for his little life.

From a link on their site I learned about little Noah Whaley, who was born last week with extremely little brain activity. His parents were not expecting to face this at all, and have been chronicling his condition and their emotions on their blog. I just read that yesterday he passed away peacefully.

Please pray for both of these families. I cannot even imagine the emotions they must be experiencing.

What do things like this mean? Theologians of all types have their different answers, but honestly they don't mean a lot when you're the one suffering. The thing is that so many well intentioned people try to push theology and religion on you when you're hurting, which is so... bad.

I've been through two very trying times in my life. Once when I moved from my hometown when I was 16 and the other when I was very very sick two years ago. Both times I can clearly recall well meaning people shoving their "God is good, all the time!" type sentiments at me. Rare, but precious, were those who would just allow me to experience and feel what I was feeling. The anger, the hurt, the sadness, the mourning... the whole experience, albeit not pleasant by any means, is natural and cathartic. Maybe it's our culture in America, maybe it's our Christian culture, but a lot of people try to deny that natural grieving process and replace it with their feel good religion. I'll never forget my best friend's mom who simply told me "It's okay to cry" and let me when I said goodbye to my best friend. I'll never forget my parents who simply cried with me during the days in the hospital when I wanted to give up hope.

Of course encouragement has it's place, and it's natural to want to do or say something to help those you love who are hurting. But there are times when you need to "weep with those who weep" and keep the "all things work for good" verses for another time. Presence is everything.

When Job's three friends... heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
Job 2:11-13

Japanese Doctor Experience

Today I experienced what I hoped I would avoid for the duration of my time in Japan, but I think it was pretty good of me to hold off on having to visit the doctor for over 8 months. I've felt like I've had the stomach flu since about last Thursday (except for about 24 hours of feeling better for church). With my history of stomach issues, I decided yesterday I should ask my boss if they'd help me to go the doctor. They were super nice and arranged for me to miss work and go to the doctor today, as well as letting me go home early yesterday and rest.
So this morning I go up and the secretary of my section, Ishii-san, and I went to the hospital. I had heard of people having interesting experiences at Japanese doctors, so I was not excited about this at all. But to my surprise, my doctor experience in Japan was remarkably... normal.
First I had to wait, which must be one thing that doctors all over the world have in common. We waited about 1.5 hours, then they did my vital signs and such, and I got to wait again for another 15 minutes to see the doctor. Yesterday when my boss was talking to me about seeing the doctor, he laughed because he said it'd be me and a bunch of old people. And he was right!
Finally my turn came and the Lord provided, because my doctor could speak English. Dr. Taguchi was definitely an answer to prayer. He asked all the right questions (including, "do you have a history of gastro-intestinal problems?" and was kind enough to listen to my life story) and listened to my answers very carefully. When he examined my stomach he said, "Hmm, you have a lot of scars." :) Yep, sure do!
Diagnosis? Hmm, not sure. I will translate whatever he said as "a bug." He prescribed an "infusion" (which means medicine administered through an IV drip), some medicine for my stomach, and rest. I had heard before that the Japanese were big fans of intravenous medicines, but I was hoping it wouldn't be for me today! So after I saw the doctor I spent a little over two hours receiving that treatment. Then I picked up my medicine and went back to the office to tell my bosses how it went. They were surprisingly concerned and kind, so I guess I have to take back any mean thoughts I've had in recent months about the organization I work for. :) I came home and slept for several hours and am feeling alright. My symptoms haven't really been alleviated, but I'm going to give the medicines some more time.
So that was my day and experience at the doctor. Like I said before, it was remarkably normal. And remarkably cheap! My whole experience, including medicines, cost less than $15. Gotta love national health insurance. :) Seriously, though, throughout the whole experience I could see God's provision and blessings. Granted I still don't feel very good, but I can have faith that soon I will.
So please keep me in your prayers. My stomach is sensitive and vulnerable since the trauma of 2003, and it always makes me nervous when it acts up. Feeling sick throws me back into many memories and emotions that I'd rather forget. And of course when you're sick and far from home, you just want your mommy. :) So I'm feeling some homesickness, too. Thank you for your prayers. Have a blessed week.

UPDATE 5-11-05
I went to school today because I felt somewhat better this morning, and after eating a breakfast and lunch of saltine crackers I felt completely better! Although I have a monster-ugly bruise on my arm from the IV, I am feeling wonderful. Praise the Lord! And thank you for your prayers and encouragement!
PS- No, no accupuncture this time. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers, grandmothers, aunts, or female caregivers who read the blog. I hope that today you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. God bless you for the work you do and the love you give.

But today I would like to especially honor the mom in my life. :)

My mom has been through a lot throughout her motherhood with me, from illnessness and hospital stays to broken hearts and low, low times. She rejoiced with me and cried with me. She has supported me in my crazy dreams that usually include going far away, whether it's the strange state of Oklahoma for college, Brazil for summers of mission work, or Japan for a job. My mom taught me how to encourage, serve, and love. And I still have a lot left to learn from her. I love you, Mom, and wish so much that I could be there to hug you in person today. Thank you for everything. Words aren't enough.


Flowers for my mommy

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Democrats Shown the Door at Church

This story is very disturbing. Granted, it's obvious the pastor is a nut job who was willing to actually publicly kick several members of his congregation to the curb for not supporting George Bush, and I honestly don't think many church leaders would go that far. However, I have been known to underestimate the insanity of many people (specifically Christians and republicans... ha ha, that's just a joke... sort of :) ).
Anyway, the point to this post is that I think the religious/political environment in America has become way too blended lately. I've never heard from the pulpit that I should come forward and repent for not being in line with G-Dub, but I've heard pretty close. That is such a shame.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28

Guilty Pleasure

I need to just come out with it. Maybe if I admit my weakness then others can help me. :) I am only a little embarrassed to admit that reading blogs is one of my hobbies. Yeah, it's a little nerdy, but lots of people do it so it's generally acceptable. Most of the blogs I check can be found to the right, and those are generally of high quality in both thought and grammar. However, I must admit that my "hobby" sinks to another level. Okay... I'll just say it.

I peruse the Oklahoma Christian Xanga Blogring.

Whew. :::weight off my chest::: Perhaps I should further explain this, so that you don't get the wrong impression. I don't read all the blogs. But over time there are certain screen names that have caught my eye and I like to check on them occasionally. The majority of those I read are people who I vaguely knew in college. However some I read just because it's like watching a train wreck-- you can't help it. Whether it's the spelling, grammar, or drama of it all, something just draws you in. :)

So there you go. My guilty pleasure. I am certainly not advising anyone else do the same. If anything I should be asking for help to stop this unhealthy habit. :)

For the record, I think that Blogger is infinitely cooler than Xanga. Who needs e-props, anyway? :)

A Golden Week Reunion

Whenever I stop and think about how many of my good friends I have here in Japan with me, I cannot fathom how blessed I am. Today several of us who were close in college got together to have lunch and just be together. With all of our work schedules it is difficult to get together at the same time, so we like to take advantage when we can. It was a great day and reminded me of how blessed I am through my friends. Jehovah jireh!


Blake, Peter (doing his impression of a Japanese girl) , Sharon



Chisato, Tomoko, Izumi


Reunion May 2005

The Low-down in H-town

I feel like I've been a bad blogger because I haven't really been updating on what's been going on. Well here you go. The reader's digest version of my very eventful past few days.

Last Friday and this Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are all national holidays. This string is called "Golden Week" in Japan. I took today (Monday) off, so I am enjoying a week of vacation.
Last Friday I went to the All Japan Worship in Omika, which was great. It was a wonderful opportunity for Christians from around the country to get together to fellowship and encourage each other. I am already looking forward to next year!
I spent last weekend in Mito trying to make up for my absence during the month of April. It was great to be able to visit with my friends who recently moved here, as well as "old friends" who are the reason I've made it this long in Japan.
Today I had the nice treat of friends making the trek to the northernlands to visit me! Peter and Sharon came to Hitachi and we had a fun day going to the beach and to a park. It was fun to show off my city a little (although those two things are pretty much the only things I could show off :) ). Then tonight I went to a high school Bible study and karaoke party with my Taga church folk.
Oh-- but the fun of Golden Week isn't over yet! Tomorrow promisese to be filled with friends and fun as well. But I'll let you know about that after it happens. Hope you're all doing well. Drop me a line sometime. Love y'all.

If I could...

Lately I've been lacking inspiration for the blog, so I will succumb and do this. Plus I think it looks pretty fun. Also, 2 of the coolest bloggerettes (JettyBetty and Crittermer) I know have done it, and I want to be a cool kid, too. :) The object is to pick any 5 sentences from the following list and complete them. Feel free to steal this as your own blog padding. :)

The "questions": If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

If I could be a doctor... I would be a medical missionary. Whether I was living and working full time abroad or just going when I could, I would do it. I think it is one of the most amazing ministries a person can have. Were I not so very squeamish with IVs, I would definitely go into nursing. After my experience a couple of years ago with being sick, I came to realize what an amazing blessing that a kind, compassionate nurses can be at a person's most vulnerable time. If you'd like to learn about or support some great medical missionaries, go here: Predisan.

If I could be a gardener... I would grow fields of flowers. I would spend my day pulling weeds and be very happy. At Hidaka (my new school) during souji time I am working in the school's flowerbeds. I volunteered myself to these efforts, and if anyone wants me to stop then they should learn how to say it in English. :) And I'd like to thank my mom for instilling my love of flowers at an early age by making that huge, beautiful flowerbed at our house in Stephenville.

If I could be a linguist... I could spend my time studying the function of languages without having my day to day function dependent upon my ability to speak the languages I was studying. :) In case that was too vague a sentence, I miss studying languages that I'm not under the pressure to use all the time. That's why Hebrew is so perfect. :) Also, were I a linguist, I would make my services available to a Bible translation organization like Wycliffe or Pioneer Bible Translators.

If I could be a professor... I would try to implement the qualities of several amazing professors that I was blessed to study under. The compassion and love of Bailey McBride. The Intellect and dedication of Bob Carpenter. The passion and excitement of Glenn Pemberton. The involvement and personalized attention of Scott LaMascus. The list could go on, but I'll restrain myself. :)

If I could be a world famous blogger... I would hope to give Christianity a good name.

Trains Gone Wild

I don't know how well publicized this was in America, but this week it seems as though Japan has been having a railway crisis of sorts. On Monday there was a huge wreck near Osaka when a train derailed and hit an apartment building and car. Right now the death toll is at 95 and the injury toll is well over 400. Then as the Prime Minister was apologizing for the wreck, another accident occured a little ways north of here. That time a truck stalled out on the tracks, but I don't believe there were any serious injuries. Then today marks accident number three. In Yokohama a van ran into the side of a train. The passengers in the van were injured, but the train commuters were alright.

I wish I could give you some special exclusive glimpse into the Japanese society's reactions to these events, but I really haven't heard anyone talking about it. I haven't watched TV lately, so I don't know how well it's being covered. I don't know if the trains are receiving less business than usual. I do know that tonight my friend mentioned that from now on she's going to ride in the rear cars of the train. :) I think that's kind of funny, but it's a good idea I suppose. I think if I were Japanese I'd be freaking out. I come from rural America where public transportation is virtually unheard of, but it's an integral part of the community here. I ride the bus everyday to school. I ride the train to church and to nearby cities to see my friends. Many high school students ride the train each day, as well as many business people. All this to say that it is scary to realize your vulnerability while on the train. Que sera sera, I guess.

Coming soon-- Ann's commentary on Japanese textbooks. :) It may not be what you're thinking!

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you. And you?

Eleven thousand, four hundred and eighty-seven

Some days I find myself pining away for Brazil. Today is one of those days.

For those of you who don't know, I have been to Brazil three times. I fell in love the first time I went, and it kept drawing me back every summer I was physically able. I went on LST projects the first two summers, then a "traditional campaign" last year. They were each very different, but very wonderful experiences. The people I went with continue to be some of my best friends.

Some people ask me what I love about Brazil... I love the people, the language, the places, the culture, the food, the weather... But really, how do you explain something you're just drawn to? Brazil was the first foreign country I went to, so at first I wondered if I would love every country I visited. But I have been to several now, and now realize that my feelings for Brazil are unique.

My dream was to move to Brazil after I graduated to do mission work for 2 years with a program through my university and home congregation. However, the powers that be decided it was too risky to send a young woman by herself to Brazil. I'd love to tell you that I accepted the decision gracefully, but I took it pretty hard and it made me bitter for a while. But as much as I hate to admit it, Campinas, Brazil is just not where God wanted me to be at this point in my life. He closed the doors to Brazil and opened wide the doors to Hitachi, Japan.

I can see the blessings now. I won't profess to having it figured out, and I'll admit I'm still holding onto some hurt about the whole situation, but I am starting to see a greater plan. However, I still have Brazil on the heart. I believe that when God instills passions like this they aren't without reason. I believe I will go back to Brazil again. I don't know what God has in store for that desire, but you can be sure I'm keeping my eyes, ears, and heart open for opportunities He provides.

The post title is the number of miles from Tokyo to Sao Paulo.

PS- This is not a put-down to Japan. Japan is a great place to live and work, and I have made wonderful friends here. I have no regrets in coming here. When it is finished, I will look back on my time here with joy and thankfulness. So don't take away an "Ann hates Japan" message from this post.

A linguistically trying day

I need someone to give me a shoutout if they've felt what I'm feeling.

Today I had a completely idiotic day concerning Japanese. These days come every so often (and seem to be increasing in their incidents lately-- alarming!), and they most often appear on those days which I have my Japanese lessons. I don't know how to describe it. It was just one of those days where I could not seem to either communicate or understand anything that was said to me in the elusive Nihongo. You would have no idea that I've been in this country for nearly 8 months!

It really makes me want to tear my hair out. In college I considered myself quite a good language student with somewhat of a knack for languages. Apparently I am much better at studying foreign languages than second languages (the difference being that you are in your own culture for the prior and immersed in the latter). It's so frustrating. I have studied a lot, and it's in my head, but when I want it to emerge in a useful situation, something happens and the communicative effort goes awry, only to be lost in the vast sea of sentiments lost over time due to cultural barriers.

I'll get over it. It was just a linguistically trying day. Perhaps this is part of culture shock. I don't know if this is related to culture shock, too, but recently I have been reading "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley and am fairly certain that the civilization he is speaking of is Japan. :)

Pope.com

I just wanted to direct y'all to an article that I found to be pretty amusing. The guy who is featured is pretty smart and pretty funny. His quotes are hilarious, and yet CNN still seemed to try to make a serious story out of it. :) Oh well! Enjoy!

"Sin" to Sell Papal Domain to Porn

Worship in Wonder

"At the end of the day, when I am lying in bed and I know the chances of any of our theology being exactly right are a million to one, I need to know that God has things figured out, that if my math is wrong we are still going to be okay. And wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to follow. I don't think there is any better worship than wonder."
--Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Seriously, people-- read this book.

Feliz Cumpleanos, Mi Amiga!

Today is a very special day, as it is my dear friend Amber's birthday. Amber has been an amazing friend and influence in my life. In college she was a faithful friend and attempted to be a voice of reason when my own failed. :) We were church buddies and honors buddies and lunch buddies and chapel buddies. When I was sick I could always count on her to be there whenever I needed anything.
Now that we're kind of grown ups, she is inspiring me by living her dream. Let me take you back a few years. When Amber and I were freshmen at OC, she was quite the laid back follower of sorts. She had a certain friend from home that she did everything with, and that seemed to suit her fine. However, when spring break rolled around, on a lark she went on the Memorial Road Church's campaign to Honduras, and absolutely fell in love with the country and the people. Since then Honduras has been on her heart and she has been determined to find her way back there.
The seed of passion that God planted in Amber has come to bloom, I believe, and she has been there for about 9 months now serving in different ways. Most recently she is serving as a foster mother at a boy's home. You can go to this website and read her reports. Her email address is also there and you can take a moment to encourage her and wish her a happy birthday. :) Her stories never fail to make me cry and inspire me to seek ways to serve those in my life. Meredith and I visited Amber for a week last summer, during which I gained a whole new perspective and respect for the work she's doing. It was hard. I don't think I could do it, which makes me want to support those who have the heart and desire for it all the more.
I miss Amber dearly. She was and is one of my best friends, and although distance makes our talks more infrequent than they used to be, I'm grateful that those miles don't faze the heart.
So happy birthday, Amber. God bless you and those you minister to daily. I love you!


Amber on the Mount teaching her kids in Honduras :)

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Mourning Into Dancing

Time for another "song that is ministering to Ann" post. Last week Judith was kind enough to let me borrow her Zoe Group, "Deep Calls to Deep" CD. If you don't know the Zoe Group, they are an acappella praise and worship ministry. I thought it was funny that I was craving acappella praise music. I've never really been a big fan. :) But hey, homesickness can come in many forms. And I have to admit that there's something very powerful about pure voices worshipping the Lord.

Anyway, it's a great CD. You should check it or any of their other many CDs out here. One song in particular stayed with me this week. It goes a little something like this:

This is How We Overcome

Your light broke through my night
Restored exceeding joy
Your grace fell like the rain
And made this desert live

You have turned my mourning into dancing
You have turned my sorrow into joy

Your hand lifted me up
I stand on higher ground
Your praise rose in my heart
And made this valley sing

This is how we overcome
This is how we overcome

If you've heard it, you know this is a great clap along/raise your hands and worship song. I think this just became my prayer for the last week. It comforted me in my current struggles with homesickness, culture shock, and adjustments to change at work. It also helped me to look back on all the places I've been in my life and remember how God has brought me through. I don't claim to have suffered any pain uncommon to humankind, but I have seen some low times. I definitely don't have a history of dealing with times of adversity with grace, but the grace of God has brought me through this far. I believe faith is a gift from the Lord, and He has blessed me with faith to peek through those darkest moments in my life. Even though I'm not over this hump of trial I'm going through yet, I do have faith that there will be dancing again after the mourning. My sorrows will turn to joys and these trials will be overcome.

Isn't that the beautiful victory we have in Christ? Tonight at LKT we talked about the resurrection and ascension of Jesus, and I was struck by how these so perfectly sum up the power of the Gospel. Christianity doesn't claim to take away pain and struggle-- in fact in many ways it guarantees to increase it. But our hope doesn't lie in the seen-- the day to day, apparent "ways of the world." It lies in our faith that God has a plan, and although we don't know or understand it at times, we know that His plan is good and will come to fruition in the perfect time and way.

Okay, enough theological rambling from me. It was just on my heart and I thought I'd share. Go listen to some Christian music and be blessed by it! :)

Stability vs. Spark

I know I'm jumping on this bandwagon a little late, but cut me some slack, I just got the videos a week or two ago. :) I had forgotten that when I was home for Christmas I asked my mom to tape "The Bachelorette" (the reality show) for me. I was pleasantly surprised to find the videos in my last care package! Alina and I have been watching the series in installments for the past week. We ended it last night, and although I will not spoil what happened for anyone even more behind than me, I will say it was utterly disappointing.

However this post is not all about what happened on this season's Bachelorette, but instead a somewhat philosophical (is love really philosophical?) question raised by the final two contenders. One was a guy who was the embodiment of stability and commitment. However there seemed to be that certain spark lacking between them. The other finalist and the bachelorette oozed chemistry. They had a connection from the moment they laid eyes on each other. However he lacked the stability and security that guy #1 offered.

So what do you go with? Is love about the stability or the spark? I thought I knew, but I'm starting to wonder. Everytime I lean towards one, the other looms over me. Obviously I'm not an expert in such arenas, so I should just keep my thoughts to myself. I think my true hope is just that there's a person who instills both of those in me. Someday. :)

Anyone have any thoughts?

My LKT Group

These are three ladies I love very much. Mizumi and Sooin, the two on the left, are the two women I study the Bible with in English on Sunday nights. Mizumi has been studying with LST (Let's Start Talking)/LKT (Let's Keep Talking) for the past five years. She knows an amazing amount of Bible, but there is something holding her back from accepting it for her life. Please pray that the seeds of God's desire for her love and commitment will bloom in her heart after all these years.
Sooin I just met about a month or so ago. She is a Korean-born, high school student who just recently returned from studying in Australia for a year. She found out about us and has been coming to keep up her English. She is a Christian; her parents help start a Korean church in Hitachi when they first moved here almost 15 years ago. She is incredibly wise for her age (or any age) and encourages me each time I talk to her.
Tomoko McClain is on the right. She and her husband Mike went to OC and now own an English school in Taga. They are an incredible family that inspires me with their love and ability to have fun together. Tomoko especially strikes me by the grace with which she handles so many stressful situations that come with raising a family and owning a business and by her faith that guides her life.
Just wanted to share a bit of these wonderful women with you!
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Spring Blossom photo album

"They are all perfect."
--The Last Samurai

Sorry I've been lax on updating or being entertaining on the blog. This week's been busy (and will continue to be for several days), and with every spare minute I've had, I've tried to get out and enjoy the sakura (cherry blossoms). I'm just going to link to my new "Spring Blossom" photo album and let you take a look-see if you want.

Grace and peace.

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Night time flower viewing
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"I'm not dead yet!!!...

...I'm getting better!"

Ah yes, there's always a Monty Python quote appropriate for the moment. Just wanted to update you on how school is going. Today was my first day to teach, and I think actually meeting individual students helped make things a lot better. I got to see that they really are cute and sweet and potentially lovable. So today was the first day in a week that I'm not rapt with the idea of quitting my job and leaving this crazy country. So that's an improvement, huh? I believe that the prayers and support of the wonderful people in my life have made all the difference, so I thank you. I will continue to try my best. These kids deserve it.

Hopefully soon I'll be posting more sakura pictures. It has been nasty cold and rainy for the past few days, which has made hanami (flower watching) difficult. But tomorrow the weather should turn for the better, and you can bet I'll be out there with camera in hand!

First Day Jitters

Although I have already been to Hidaka (my new school), tomorrow is my first real day of class, which will be my introduction lessons. I am really really nervous. Which is kind of weird, since I have done this before and have experience and all that. I just want them to like me. Here I go regressing back to junior high myself. :) But really, I'm quite anxious so I would appreciate prayers and/or encouragement. I'll let you know how it goes. Hope you all have a great week.

UPDATE 4-12-05
Well today was my "first day", and in an odd answer to prayers, all my classes were cancelled today. The teacher got sick and we had a school assembly. Not really the answer I was looking for... just postponing the inevitable one more day... but whatever. :)

Sakura Matsuri

Photo blog time! I'll keep the word count low today. Just wanted to post some pictures from the Hitachi Sakura Matsuri (cherry blossom festival). It was my first festival in Japan and I had a blast. I took tons of pictures. Here is a link to the full photo album: Sakura Matsuri. Enjoy!



View of Heiwa Street (keep in mind that the cherry trees are just starting to bloom)


Children's dance troop carrying a shrine


Yakisoba stall


Dance competition crowd


The huge puppet stage and team who man it. Please take note of the man on the right taking a picture of me taking a picture. There were tons of photographers out today, and many of them love to get shots of foreigners at the festivals.


Mother and daughter dancers (too cute!)


Lit up cherry tree (Remember-- these are just starting to bloom! I'll have many more pictures once they're filled out!)

How it went

Well I figure I should update those of you who keep up with the drama that been going on in my work-life. Yesterday was my first day at Hidaka (or Hitaka-- I'm not sure!) Junior High. It wasn't terrible, but I wasn't overflowing with joy. I can be honest and admit to you that the reason it wasn't "great" is because of my own attitude. I tried my best, but I was nervous and sad and all around unexcited. Everyone I met at Hidaka (as I will call it) seems great. One of my fellow teachers from Namekawa, a big (I mean big!) PE teacher named Mr. Yamazaki, also moved to Hidaka, so he was super-nice to me and looked out for me. He yelled my name and waved at me from across the school yard when he saw me walking up to school. My head English teacher told me that he told her he was worried about me-- how cute. :)
I went through the opening and entrance ceremonies just fine, and was introduced to the students and did my bowing. I'm a little disappointed because the students seem really timid around me. Maybe it's my skewed perspective, but the students at Namekawa seemed more eager to talk to me when I first arrived. Although I will grant that the Hidaka kids are coming off some bad ALT experiences. So please pray the kids will open up to me more and make me feel welcome. And also that my attitude about the whole situation will improve. Right now it's quite rotten.
One great thing of the past two days is that I've gotten to go home early! Yesterday was perfectly beautiful-- the first real day of spring. The kind of day I have been literally dreaming of since about last October. Aah. Which was great, because yesterday I had a "series of unfortunate events" trying to get home from school. Since I left early, I wasn't sure of the bus schedule. So I walked to the bus stop and realized I had just missed a bus, and the next one was in half an hour. So I decided to just walk to the nearest train station (about a 10 minute walk) to catch a train home. As I came within view of the station, I saw a bus waiting, so I thought "oh, I'll just take that bus home." But it drove off just as I walked up. So I high tailed it up the 3 flights of stairs to the station and just missed the train to Hitachi. So I had the opportunity to sit outside for about 45 minutes and soak up the sun and warmth waiting for the train. Ultimately I made it home about an hour and a half after I started out from the school (and realize that it is only a 15 minute bus ride away). :) Had it been raining, I would not have been good humored. But since it was beautiful, I counted it a blessing.
And guess what! Today I saw the first sakura (cherry blossoms)!!!!! Spring is springing!!!!!!!

Happy Blog-versary to me!

Yes folks, it is one year today that I have been posting my thoughts up for the world to see. I would like to think that the quality has gotten better over time, and I think my readership has tripled from 1 to 3. :) I would have a snazzy stat like how many blogs I've posted, but good old blogger has said that I have had 168 for about the past 6 months, so who knows how many posts I have. I can tell you that I've blogged from 5 countries (America, Brazil, Honduras, Japan, and Singapore) and received 219 comments. I've even made some new friends along the way.
Seriously though, I do hope and pray that my blog has been edifying to you in some way. If you're still coming to read, then I guess I must be doing something right. I am trying to reflect my reality to you, whether it's the reality of living in Japan or of being a recent college grad in her first job, or being a Christian who struggles with faith and truth and service and sacrifice.
Thank you for reading. Stick around, who knows what'll happen next. :)

Interview Questions from JettyBetty

My friend, JettyBetty, offered up an interview challenge on her blog. Since I have never responded to one of these calls, I thought I'd take her up on it. Here are the questions she gave me along with my answers.

1. What is the biggest challenge for you by living in Japan? Biggest joy?

I would have to say the biggest is the language barrier, because many other challenges spawn from it. It is through the language barrier that I often feel isolated and unable to communicate my wants or feelings. It is also what causes me to feel useless many times, which is a challenge to overcome.
The biggest joy is the pride that comes from knowing that I am doing this. I stepped out of my comfort zone to do something that I was totally unsure of, but felt that God was drawing me to. That's not to boast-- since I have been here I have struggled over and over with doubt and disappointment-- but I know I would have regretted it forever had I not come.

2. You mention Bailey McBride several times as someone you admire. How has he impacted your life? Do you have any other "mentors" you would like to mention?

Bailey has played a huge role in my life. Little did I know what I was getting into with the honors program at OC (and how many people can amen that?)! I have said before that Bailey was much more than a teacher-- he was a role model, an elder, a cheerleader, a counselor, and above all, a friend. He has held me up and prayed over me during some of the hardest times in my life when I was too weak to do it myself. I have million examples I could share, but there's not world enough or time. :) If only he would start a match-making service! ;)
As for other mentors, there are lots! I would say my parents and grandparents. Although our choices and life directions have been very different, their examples of Christian service and unconditional love have profoundly impacted my life. So many other people I could name. Bob and Donna Carpenter for their generosity of their time, experience, and love. Robin Dutton for faithfulness and joy throughout trials. I could mention each of my friends, but I'll limit to just one-- Amber Foster for her unstoppable passion willingness to sacrifice to serve those she's been called to.
This list could go on forever! :) What a great cloud of witnesses I have been blessed with!

3. What songs have you downloaded off Walmart.com lately?

My last 10 were: "The Valley Song (Sing of Your Mercies)" by Jars of Clay, "Foolish Games," "Hands," and "You Were Meant For Me" by Jewel, "Homesick" by Mercyme, "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns, "Elevation" by U2, "Kiss Me" and "There She Goes" by Sixpence None the Richer, and "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant. I usually download either Christian music or songs I want to sing at karaoke that I need to practice. :) I'm also a sucker for love songs. I am trying to limit myself since I recently found out that it is technically illegal for me to be buying music from them (if you search hard enough there is a disclaimer on the website that says you must be in the United States to buy their music. However, I am sure they have the technology to know that I am doing it from Japan yet they have done nothing to stop me. What can I say, I am rebelling on this one).

4. You say "some of the time I do things I say I won't". What have you done lately that you thought you never, ever would?

I never would have thought that I would be such a brat about language learning. Since this was my chosen field of study in college, I know the things that would help me most in learning Japanese. However, I am being a very very bad student and doing many things wrong (out of timidity and just plain laziness!). I never thought I would be so tempted to waste such a great opportunity to learn a foreign language-- especially one I am immersed in! But as much as I'd like to, I'm not giving up! Gambatteru! (I'm trying my best!)

5. What do miss most about living in the US??

Superficially-- Mexican food, Walmart, reasonable prices, indoor climate control, and people holding the door open for me
Deeper-- People. Understanding church and feeling involved in worship. Being able to communicate with few barriers. The cultural ideas of fairness and justice.

This was fun! Thank you Betty for taking the time to ask questions so well tailored to my experience and blog! :) If anyone else wants to ask your favorite sojochick a question, please feel free to comment.

Day of change

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”

— Japanese Proverb

I woke up this morning with honest dread, because today was a day I did not want to experience-- the farewell ceremony at Namekawa Chu. Being on vacation for two weeks allowed me the luxury of dodging the proverbial bullet of reality, but today it caught up to me. But I will tell you about the traditional, Japanese junior high leaving ceremony.
I arrived at school like normal, but found that my school had changed greatly since I'd been gone. All of the leaving teachers had moved their stuff out, new teachers had moved in, and everyone had changed seats. They even moved my/the ALT desk. The other departing teachers and I-- 18 of us in all-- gathered in the kojo-sensei (principal)'s office to wait for the ceremony to begin.
All of the students, including many of those who just graduated, along with all the teachers and the PTA, gathered in the gym and stood to applaud us as we filed in the back and walked to the stage and sat down. I was so terribly nervous. I don't get nervous that often, but my hands were freezing and shaking as I sat on stage. The kojo-sensei read through the list of our names, how long we'd been at Namekawa (some had been there shorter than me!), and where we were moving to. Then we each proceeded to make a short speech.
Thankfully I was last so I knew about how long they should be. Also, several of the teachers started crying during their speeches so I knew it wouldn't be terrible if I cried. Finally my turn came and I prayed for the strength to at least get the words out. I thanked the PTA for their support, the teachers for their kindness, and told the kids how proud I was of them (in more words than that, but that was the gist). My voice shook a little, but I didn't cry. Then we all sang the school song (such a catchy tune ;) ) and a student representative (one of my favorite little students) read a message on behalf of the student body for each of us. I don't know exactly what mine said, but he ended it with "goodbye", which was cute. :) Then all the teachers filed out again and we were all given a nice bouquet of flowers by the PTA. Here is mine:

Hana ga daisuki desu. I love flowers.
Then was the great walk. The road of no return. :) Maybe not that dramatic... All the teachers and students lined up along the entrance way and clapped and wished us well as we left the school. I will admit there were some tears shed then. But it was nice. One of my dear students, Ayana, who I coached for a speech contest once, gave me an awesome present:

If you can't tell what it is, those little things are tiny oragami cranes. They are strung together and there are several strands. I don't know if she made it or bought it, but it is so thoughtful! Once upon a time she was in the teachers room and she had a tiny crane and I told her how cute it was and how much I liked it and she gave it to me. And now this. Too sweet. Finally, after all was said and done, one of my fellow departing teachers, who is also a friend of mine, took me home.
Overall I handled it well-- didn't fall apart, got some closure. Thanks to God for giving me the strength and peace to make it through and really be able to enjoy the moments.
Oh, but that was only the first half of my day! After lunch I went up to the office to meet my new boss, Mr. Hosoya. He is Mr. Suzuki's replacement (see last blog entry). I had heard nice things about him from everyone, and I had a great first impression. I was sitting at the ALT desk when he came in, and when he saw me he smiled really big and started waving at me. :) After talking with him I think I'm really going to like him. He's very nice and always seems like he has a few too many things on his mind, which is kind of charming in it's own way. Shortly after our meeting, Mr. Hosoya drove me to Hidaka Chugakko to meet my new English teachers, kojo-sensei, and kyoto-sensei (vice principal). Everyone was great, and I am grateful that I will be working with more nice people.
So there you have my day. Today I said my final goodbye to Namekawa and said hello to my new bosses and school. Talk about changes.
Lest you think that I have it all together, let me be honest. I'm having a melt-down. Reality has struck and I'm scared of all the changes. I can't do this on my own-- I need the grace of God to carry me through and the support of my friends, who have already been wonderful so far. So please keep me in your prayers through this time of re-starting.
Tomorrow's my opening/entrance ceremony at Hidaka. I'm nervous again. Please pray for me. I'll let you know how it goes.

PS-- The proverb at the top is more wishful thinking than actuality, I'm afraid. :) But gambattemasu! I will try my best!

Shidoka Farewell Party

Last Friday night was the farewell party for the Hitachi Board of Education. In our small, 14 person department, we are somewhat tight knit. I think most people in the BoE look at the AETs like their kids. Well maybe just Alina and me. They probably consider Ian a peer since he's been there longer than most of them. So on Friday we said goodbye to 3 members, including the 2 that were closest to us ALTs.


Mr. Suzuki and Mr. Shinohara

Mr. Suzuki (on the left holding the flowers) was the ALT supervisor and hired us all. He was our go-to man when we needed anything and he really took care of us. He was our friend, and we will miss him. But he is moving on up in the ranks of the Japanese educational system, so we're happy for him. Also leaving is Mr. Shinohara (aka Kacho, on the right). He is our department head and the real keeper of power in our neck of the woods. He is an incredibly funny guy and a constant tease, and always joked around and talk to us ALTs (which is somewhat amazing considering his position compared to our position). He will be sorely missed from our department.

My favorite part of the night included a Japanese ritual that I've seen a couple of times before. First floor cushions are taken and piled up. Then the person of honor kneels on top of them (see picture of Kacho).


Shinohara on cushions

Then the cheerleader (in our case Mr. Imahashi) leads a cheer that goes somewhat like this (shouting loudly): "Freeeeeh! (right arm raises) Freeeeeeeh! (left arm raises) Shi---no---ha---ra!!!! (then the group joins in) Freh! Freh! Shinohara! Freh Freh Shinohara!"


Mr. Imahashi leading the cheer

It's a fun Japanese thing that never fails to crack me up-- but I think that's alright because it's supposed to. So we did that for Mr. Shinohara, Mr. Suzuki, and Mr. Ohuchi (the other member leaving). Then suddenly they took all the seat cushions, towered them up, and pulled little Ms. Ishii on top. Then we cheered for her! THEN they pulled ME on top and cheered for me, as well as the rest of the ALTs. I'm not sure why we were honored in such a way, but it sure was hilarious. I'm just glad I didn't fall off the top of the cushions. Not everyone was so fortunate!



After that we went and karaoked for a while, which was a blast. I am very blessed to have such an awesome office staff to work with. I remember back when I first got here (waaaaaay back... ha ha) I had heard horror stories about enkais (office parties) and how terrible they were. But I have had great experiences. Maybe it's because I work with fun people; I don't know. But I'll just count that among my many blessings.
Despite the fact that these two men bore the burden of being responsible for my move from Namekawa, I hold no hard feelings. I now understand the phrase, "It wasn't personal. It was business" (although that doesn't make it suck any less). I will miss these guys. They were amazing bosses. I will ask a similar prayer request for Mr. Shinohara and Mr. Suzuki as I asked for my English teachers last week. Please pray that God will continue to show His love and glory to them as they move into their new positions.

All Shidoka Farewell Party Pictures Here
They're fun! I promise! Thanks to Alina for the pictures!

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New arrivals!

What an exciting past couple of days I have had. Mito Japan was invaded on Friday night by 15 fresh ALTs (let's see if any of them try to correct me and say they're "AETs" :) -- and for the record, ALT and AET are the same thing). I was especially excited because the new group included several of my good friends. So I trekked down to Mito Saturday afternoon and was reunited with some people that I love dearly. Saturday night we went shopping with them and took them to eat at a ramen restaurant. Thanks to sympathy jet-lag, we were all worn out by the end of the night. Then Sunday was a full day of fun and new experiences for the new guys. It started with church, which I think might have been a bit overwhelming for everyone involved. :) But it was great and they were welcomed well by the church leaders and members. I hope some of them will come up north to visit us at Taga sometime! Below is a picture of all the newcomers in a row introducing themselves to the church. After church about 40 gaijin (foreigners) invaded a local restaurant and thoroughly freaked out the waitressing staff. Naturally we drew quite a bit of attention to ourselves and made some new friends in the process. After church Sunday night many of us went and played a rousing game of soccer. It was pretty fun, but perhaps I am not serious enough to play with the big boys. :) I do think I was nice ornamentation for the team, though. After that I caught a train back up to H-town. Although it seems much more real now than it did before I saw everyone, it is still pretty surreal. I am so excited to have the new people here-- both for myself to have more friends in the same country as me, but moreso for them to be beginning one of the greatest adventures of their lives. Please join me in praying for them as they start the transition of living in a new culture and working at a new job.


Newbies Part I


Newbies Part II


Newbies Part III


The gang's all here! Travis, Blake, Peter, Ann and Chisato--photo by Denver Schow

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Earthquake

Well my prefecture in Japan, Ibaraki, finally made the news! Apparently there was an earthquake last night, and CNN reported on it here. It was while I was sleeping, and I don't think I woke up for it, although before I went to bed it did seem like we were having several small quakes. So if you heard this news, no worries, I am okay. Daijobu desu!