Sweet temptation

Any group of people has a certain set of dynamics and personality. Our singles group at church is no different. One of the "tensions" we have is that there are certain people who like to eat very healthily, some to an extreme, and there are others who don't like to be reminded that they aren't eating very healthily. :)

This afternoon we helped with the senior ministry's luncheon, which was catered by a culinary angel. Seriously, some of the best food I've eaten in a long time. This included an absolutely luscious chocolate cake. I'm not generally a chocolate cake fan, but this cake was seriously perfect. And she made three of them. Oh, sweet temptation. Watching her pour the chocolate sauce on the top was one of the most seductive things I've ever seen.

So fast forward the time for us to clean up. Several of us found ourselves just kind of loitering around the remaining cake... and it just so happened to be those of us who try and abide by healthy eating. The next thing you know... well, just take a look:


Untitled from Ann W on Vimeo.
Sometimes you've just gotta realize life's too short to not eat chocolate cake. :)

Sojo's iPod Shuffle

Step 1: Put your iTunes/iPod or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 (I did 30 because I had fun) songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: You guys get to guess in the comments! I'll bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly. (note- looking them up on google or any other search engine is cheating)

1. I could fall apart before I start
2. You don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on- "Kiss" by Prince
   
3. Now that fear is out of the way, I'm starting to see myself so clear
4. Wash me in the water of the word- "Wash me in the Water" by Shane and Shane
   
5. Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing, you believed in superstition
6. It’s hard to stand on shifting sand, it’s hard to shine in the shadows of your mind- "Better Hands" by Natalie Grant
   
7. There are times when faith and common sense do not align- "Brave" by Nichole Nordeman
   
8. I came walking down this road for a better point of view
9. Have I become a soul so numb?- "Time Takes its Toll on Us" by Bebo Norman
   
10. What looks like failure is success
11. Who’s your brother, who’s your sister?
12. When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes, you are good- "You are Good" by Point of Grace
    
13. Holy design, this place in time
14. Each day as I grow older, the nights are getting colder
15. My big brother was Big’s brother, used to be Dane and Big’s brother
16. You know I ran across an old box of letters while I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill- "Thankful" by Caedmon's Call
    
17. Eu, voce, nos dois, aqui neste terraço à beira-mar- "Fotografia" by Antonio Carlos Jobim
    
18. Paper airplane in flight, see the moon say goodnight
19. The dawn is breaking, a light shining through
20. Well it looks like five thousand miles broke the camel’s back- "Love is Different" by Caemdon's Call
    
21. Your light broke through my night, restored exceeding joy- "Mourning into Dancing" by Zoe Group
    
22. How many roads did I travel before I went down one that led me to you- "Holy" by Nichole Nordeman
    
23. Tears are falling, hearts are breaking, how we need to hear from God- "Welcome to Our World" by Chris Rice
    
24. Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry, you don’t know how lovely you are- "The Scientist" by Coldplay
    
25. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk- "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas
    
26. Hot sun dancing on the river, we sit on the bank and watch the world go by- "For a Little While" by Tim McGraw
    
27. It tapped me on the shoulder today when I got home
28. When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand- "You've Got a Friend in Me" by James Taylor
    
29. Dream when you’re feelin’ blue
30. At last, my love has come along- "At Last" by Etta James or Ella Fitzgerald
    

Blood drive!

I told you last week that I gave my testimony at church to help rouse some donors for the blood drive. Well, the Lord provides! I think they told me there were 43 units collected at the end of the day, including 14 people from the young singles ministry! I am just overjoyed. I have the best friends in the world. There were several who really didn't want to give, but did. It's such a good, easy, and important thing! Here are some photos, since the blog has been lacking color lately.

Dear Pete, such a trooper. :) (that's iodine, not blood on his arm- he hadn't started yet). And look at Lindsey back there smiling!

Amy says, "I love blood donation! It's a game for me. Try and beat 4:32!"

Rebecca says, "Blood donation makes me happpppy!"

OBI Lady says, "^#%$ Why are you taking pictures?!"

I'm not just an advocate, I'm also a donor! Despite the blurriness, I assure you that it is me.

After donating we went to lunch at Texas Roadhouse to regain our strength. Look how cute we are and how much we love each other!

Lindsey and Tiffany

Angie and Rebecca

Ann and Amy

Pete and Wes

$12k Challenge

I'm a sucker for a challenge. :)

After the great ideas and comments from my $12k blog, I decided to take Dan's suggestion to heart.

God works powerfully through His people. He gives them visions and dreams and passions for how to bring His Kingdom to earth. You guys proved through your wonderful and diverse ideas on how to bless others with the financial resources God blesses us with.

So here's the deal. All I want to challenge you to do is to be proactive. Take that idea that has been knocking around in the back of your head and do something with it.

As for my part, if you will either email me (my first name dot my last name at gmail) or leave a comment (and this blog has always allowed anonymous comments), I'll add it to the tally and note what ministry is being furthered through the generosity of SojoBlog readers. The goal will be to reach $12,000 corporately. No gift is too small to report! Jesus was known to take a couple of loaves and fishes to feed multitudes.

You can donate to ministries, mission funds, humanitarian efforts, medical causes, or whatever other organization, charity or cause God has placed on your heart. The only stipulation I'll make is that political campaigns don't count. This is on the honor system, so you don't have to show a receipt or anything. :)

I'm going to place a permalink to this post over in the left hand column so you can check back and see how the Lord is working.

-----------------------------------------

$30- World Vision monthly child sponsorship
$35- Donation to The Refuge
$1800- Annual total of $150 monthly donation to send a Honduran child to school
$200- Helping to send two students to Cambodia on a mission trip
$150- Donation towards local missionary

Current Total- $2215

Something to Say

Today was a big day! I was asked by our church's blood drive coordinator to give my testimony to the congregation at both services. I was pretty nervous, but this is something I'm quite passionate about and have wanted to do for a while. The Lord opened the door, so I walked through!

This morning as I was trying to psyche myself up and calm myself down, I listened to "Something to Say" by Matthew West on repeat. The words seemed VERY applicable as I thought about what the Lord has done in my life through the gift of blood donors.

You've got something to say
If you’re livin’, if you’re breathin’
You've got something to say
And you know if your heart is beatin’
You've got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through you
You've got something to say

It went well, and I have to give so many thanks to my fantastic cheerleaders who encouraged me through. Thanks of course also to all those who donate blood! This Valentine's Day truly give a gift from your heart! Not to your loved one, perhaps, but to the greater whole of humanity. :)

Here is the text of my testimony:

About two years ago, I went through a long illness that included in major surgery. A few days after being released from the hospital my parents had to rush me back to the ER. Apparently I was bleeding internally. Due to one of the complications of my illness, my blood wouldn’t clot. I was in very serious condition, having already lost a substantial amount of blood and my body was unable to stop it.

I remember the overwhelming pain and fear of that night, and crying in desperation for God to please help me. And did help me that night, in the form of the 20+ donors whose blood I received. The doctors were able to give me enough whole blood and blood products until my bleeding stabilized. Those donors didn’t know me, nor will they ever, but for whatever reason, they felt compelled to give. And because of their gifts, I’m here today.

I hope that I can put a face on blood recipients for you. I know blood donation is a pretty thankless job, but I want to thank you for the work you’ve already done, and encourage you to keep giving. You never know whose life you may be able to save.

Holding Jesus Hostage

There are probably a lot of topics I could cover with this title post, but instead I shall let this video do the talking for me:

Appalling Silence

We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
From "Letter from Birmingham Jail," April 16, 1963

$12,000

Today is an audience participation day.

If, through the generosity of others, the Lord had entrusted you with $12,000 through which to bless and further the Kingdom, how would you use it?

Myself When I Am Real

Do you ever have moments when characteristics or aspects of your personality that normally remain dormant are brought to the surface? I have had several lately.

I am white.

Recently I started tutoring in LST-like classes with an inner city church. My friend and I read with a husband and wife who are so very charming and sweet. Every time we meet with them, though, I am reminded of how white, middle-class American I am. Saturday was particularly funny; we went to a party at the church downtown for all of the LST people. As soon as my friend picked me up, I laughed because for one, we unintentionally matched, and for two, we looked like a Gap ad. :) Whitey McWhitesters. The party was lots of fun and we got to know lots of really great people. When the eating time started, we both got home-made tamales that I believe our reader made. I will be honest and admit that I've never actually eaten a tamale. Shame- I know. However, this means that I didn't really know how to eat it. Then my friend sat down and leaned over to ask me how to eat it. He then asked our reader how to eat it. It was hilarious and I have never felt more white. :)

I am a small town Texan girl.

This fact was brought home fiercely last night. :) I thought I was behaving like any normal person would during a football game, but apparently not... I grew up where football was king, and so to me a championship football game is serious business! I think that I'm starting to realize that either you're a football person or you're not, and even though I haven't been immersed in that culture in many years, it's always going to be a part of me. And I'm pretty proud of that. :)

I am passionate and convicted.

In recent weeks, I've had several opportunities to see this potent streak of my personality manifest itself. I'm wise enough to be able to see it as both a strength and a weakness. I think this is also the part of my personality that surprises the most people. But just beware this fact should you should you choose to tangle with me. I'm sure several blog readers can attest to my passion in its positive and negative glory. :) In all seriousness, it has the potential to be used for good when I am convicted to stand up for Christ and his Church, but it can also turn into a stumbling block of pride and stubbornness.

These things just got me to thinking about who I am, both within my personality and environment. A lot of people spend a lot of time and energy trying to manipulate, hide, and re-invent who they are, when maybe we should be grateful and cultivate whatever we've been handed to work for God's glory.

100 Things Revisited- Part 2

26. I've been blogging for over three and a half years. Specifically, since April 6, 2004.

27. On average, my blog gets about 50 unique visitors a day.

28. The most popular day of the week for my blog, statistically speaking, is Tuesday. By a noticable margin. Why is that?

29. I first got into writing when my sophomore, pre-AP English teacher, Mrs. Roeming, told me I was a good writer. Encouragement is powerful, people.

30. I have a few books floating around in my head to write. All about spirituality. All non-fiction.

31. One of my goals for the year is to submit a piece of writing to be published. I think I know what it is and where I will send it, but I have no idea if they'd choose it. If they do, I'll tell you.

32. I graduated from OC magna cum laude. I was stinking .01 away from summa cum laude. I am taking a class right now to raise my GPA so that at least in my mind, I'll have highest honors.

33. I put off taking a math class in college, so it came down to the wire with me taking college algebra from Tulsa Community College online. I think I made a B. That and stupid economics screwed up my GPA.

34. I hate making left hand turns. I will drive five minutes out of my way to avoid it.

35. I had a wreck on ice my freshman year of college that totalled my truck. I hate hate hate driving in bad weather to this day.

36. The first time I ever drove a car, I hit my dad's truck with my mom's suburban. Smooth.

37. I still get nervous when I park!

38. I love going to Walgreens. I can walk around that store for hours.

39. I hate grocery shopping and the subsequent putting away of groceries.

40. Sometimes I go to the chapel at the hospital when I want to be alone and pray.

41. The in the past couple of years I have become much more monastic and contemplative.

42. I don't mind silence, even when I'm with friends. This drives many of my friends crazy, because I think it's cool to just sit in silence with somene you love.

43. Cream is my favorite winter clothing color.

44. Pale yellow is my favorite spring clothing color.

45. If someone compliments me on what I wear, its rotation will increase dramatically. :)

46. When I listen to music, especially praise music, it's easy for me to get so into it that I really can't multi-task.

47. If I get really down or depressed, I can sit and just stare and the wall for hours in silence.

48. When I cry, my eyes turn really bright blue.

49. I add cinnamon to pretty much everything I bake.

50. I make a really mean banana bread, even though I'm allergic to bananas.

Celebrate Freedom

Just a few things.

I am a proud member of the Family of God at Quail Springs.

I have never been more excited about the future of the church than I am now.

I am thankful for the gifts the Lord has given each of us and hope we will find ways to glorify Him through those gifts.

I celebrate the freedom found in Christ and His church.

I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store!

100 Things Revisited- Part 1

1. I wrote a list like this three and a half years ago.
2. I am a very different person now than I was then. Several of those things aren't true anymore.
3. I’ve lived on three continents in the past three years.
4. They were each amazing experiences that I wouldn’t trade, but I have no plans or desire to live abroad again.
5. I think I would enjoy living in most southern (US) cities.
6. I don’t know if I could go back to rural living, even though it’s how I grew up and I adored it. Maybe when I’m raising kids.
7. Growing up, I never wanted kids. But now I would like to have children one day.
8. I am an extremely private person. It made me nervous to write #7.
9. I don’t like talking to strangers. If I don’t know you and you tried to strike up conversation in the store, airport or whatever, I would completely ignore you.
10. When I get stressed out, I have strong physical manifestations. Bad dreams, dizziness, restless sleep, poor vision, headaches, stomach aches. Sometimes my physical symptoms tell me I’m stressed out before I even realize it.
11. Things that stress me out include driving in poor weather and having to plan social events.
12. My spiritual gifts include encouragement, discernment, intercessory prayer, and truth telling.
13. I am excited every day to see how the Lord is going to use and grow my spiritual gifts for use in the Kingdom.
14. I really like my hair color. I won’t color or put highlights in it.
15. Losing my hair when I was sick a few years ago absolutely sucked. You'd be surprised how it works over your self-confidence.
16. When I taught English, I would get so nervous before each class that I thought I’d pass out.
17. Teaching Bible makes me more excited and gives me more joy than pretty much anything.
18. My natural inclination is to distrust teachers, especially in church.
19. I’ve been a bridesmaid two times, soon to be three. I love each of those couples like they’re my brothers and sisters.
20. Being a bridesmaid is stressful, and I would never do it for someone I didn’t love.
21. I joined eHarmony last May for 3 months.
22. I met a guy from eHarmony. He was nice, but a libertarian. It never would have worked.
23. I am not joining any kind of dating service again until I’m 30.
24. Last fall, I sent a postcard to postsecret.com. It was chosen and posted on the website. I almost fell off my couch when I saw it.
25. No, I will not tell you what it was. :)

Stay tuned for the next installment...

Dreaming

There are many, many reasons to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and all those who fought and suffered for the Civil Rights movement today. It's a time to remember how far we've come and how far we have to go.

I also think it's a day to inspire us to be willing to dream God sized dreams. Our preacher challenged us last week to be willing to dream dreams and make plans that are so large, they are destined to fail without the hand of God. So today, I'm dreaming as well.

I have a dream that one day I will look around my church and see the ethnic diversity of the surrounding neighborhoods.

I have a dream that service in the Kingdom of God will not limited by one's gender, age, marital status, bankbook, or family tree.

I have a dream that we as God's people will embrace the power of the Holy Spirit to work powerfully for His glory.

I have a dream that our country will grow to a point where no human being will be classified as "illegal."

I have a dream that a Christian influence in politics will mean standing up for compassion and justice.

I have a dream that God will ignite and inspire in me His vision for my life and His Kingdom.

What are you dreaming of today?

Not my baby...

...but I love her! Prettiest newborn ever, Maggie Tryggestad. The Trygg Trifecta!

Sweetest face!

Auntie Ann and Maggie Moo (this nickname not sanctioned by los padres)

Photos courtesy of proud papa Erik. Go to their blog to see more adorable photos.

Small Enough

A few months ago I gave my testimony to my small group at church. The morning I was going to share it, one of my good friends handed me a CD and told me there was a song I needed to hear before I did. It was the album "This Mystery" by Nichole Nordeman, and the song in particular was "Small Enough."

The phrase "personal relationship" is over-used and abused in Christian circles, so I hesitate to use it, but that is truly the heart of this song. God is the God who acts in bold and mighty ways, but He is also the Father who knows how many hairs are on my head.

My friend wanted to remind me that although God has worked visible and powerful miracles in my life, He still cares when my feelings are hurt or have a bad day. I didn't realize then the powerful ministry this song would have for me in the months since I first heard it, but I thank God for His provision before I knew my need.

Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel’s den
I had asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again
Tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
Just want to know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry

Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now
Oh great God, be close enough to feel me now
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we marched around our share of Jerichos
But I will not be setting out the fleece for you tonight
Just wanna know that everything will be alright
Oh great God, be close enough to feel me now

All praise and all the honor be to the God of ancient mysteries
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer-
Are you there?

I know you could leave writing on the wall that’s just for me
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping like in Solomon’s sweet dreams
I don’t need the strength of Sampson or a chariot in the end
Just wanna know you still know how many hairs are on my head
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now

Prayers Decoded

It seems to me that when we pray, we rarely say what we really mean. Here are a few examples of common prayer verbiage and what I think most people are actually meaning to pray.

Patience-- We've all heard the cliche that you shouldn't pray for patience if you don't want the Lord to teach you patience. What I think we really mean is that we would like for whatever person or situation is trying our patience to be magically and swiftly obliterated, rather than learning how to deal with the situation at hand with love, graciousness and compassion.

Clarity-- When we pray for clarity, what we're really saying is that we'd like to know how everything is going to turn out rather than trusting the Lord to be good and faithful to us. To me, honestly, this prayer just might be the antithesis of faith.

Peace-- Maybe not everyone thinks of peace like this, but I know when I pray for peace, what I'm really asking for is spiritual morphine. The pain, the trail, the frustration, the stress are all so great that I feel burdened, and I would rather feel numb (i.e., peaceful) throughout the time of trial then be in the moment and grow through the pain.

Guideguardanddirect-- This just means that they grew up in the church and don't know another way to end the prayer.

Any other prayer euphemisms I'm forgetting?

--------UPDATE-----------

Both Cris and Sharkdog (Alisha?) make good points.

"Be with"-- This is a great one. I think in general, we evangelical Christians have a tendency to pray wimpy prayers. This summer I read "Prayer" by Richard Foster (FANTASTIC book), and he emphasized the importance of praying specific and powerful prayers. To me, this line, "be with", is evidence of our wimpy prayer. What does "be with" mean? I think we should replace this line with powerful claims of faith to our Lord. He is powerful to hear and act on our behalf for His glory! Let's be bold to pray for healing, for miracles, for undeniable displays of God's power.

"Bless"-- Oh, I've talked about this before. :) I think there are those who bless in Biblical ways, truly asking that the Lord's hand be upon people. But then I also hear a lot of blessings for building funds, in which case I'm pretty sure that "Bless this" means "show me da' money." :) Blessings can be dangerous when you begin to mistake happiness for blessing.

"Nourish our bodies"-- I had to think about this one. Jesus teaches us to pray for our daily bread, for sure, but I don't think it was in a strictly literal sense. It is in that we are repeatedly admonished not to put stock in our material things and storing them up, but praying for super- nourishment is interesting... can anyone think of any Biblical prayer for nourishment of food? Very interesting.

Annie in Japany

American Gladiators and Spirituality

Last night as I witnessed the greatness known as the return of “American Gladiators”, I was struck by a spiritual principle. Some may think it’s a reach, but I think it’s entirely valid and pretty applicable for my life right now.

As I watched my favorite little “spider monkey” trying to climb the pyramid and then being tossed down it like a rag doll, I realized it’s an entirely unfair advantage. Not just because gladiators such as “Wolf Man” and “Toa” are ginormous, but because it is always easy to throw someone down when they are trying to make progress. This plays out very literally as a 150 pound Asian tries to scramble past a behemoth of a man, but even if all things were equal, it’s easy to topple a person trying to ascend.

I don’t know that I have eloquent words to explain what I’m thinking quite yet, but I think it boils down to the fact that it is fairly simple to attack. Honestly, I don't think it takes too much skill. It’s easy to go after someone, more so if they’ve been in the fight for a while and they’re worn down.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't take a strong, mighty, or even a bright person to throw someone down when they're fighting to go higher. However, it takes a special level of courage, tenacity, and strength to get knocked down and keep getting back up.

-------------

After I posted this yesterday, I remembered this quote which seemed to be quite fitting.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt

"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

All Things New

-from PostSecret

2007 Sojies!

In the spirit of starting a tradition, I now present to you the

2007 Sojies!

1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR
My super-Starbucks buddy, Pete. Note-- barista of the year is Kari! :)

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD - LONGEST FRIEND(s)?
Rock on Nina! Since 1st grade in Mrs. Hayes class! (Still true from last year!)

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - NEWEST FRIEND?
I think most recently I've made new friends at work. We are friends, right guys? :)

3) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
Joining Quail Springs church, closely followed by getting the job at OC.

4) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
Deciding not to go back to Brazil.

5) BEST HOLIDAY?
Labor Day was one of the funnest days of my life. We graded special-ed papers and then played in the pool for hours. Hilarity ensued. :)

6) SONG FOR 2007?
"Into the Day" by Bebo Norman

7) ANY REGRETS?
Not really...

8) BEST NIGHT OUT?
Hard one... there was this fabulous soiree... also a girl's night out on Yom Kippur... and a lot of great, late-night coffee talks.

9) WORST NIGHT OUT?
There was one night I cried on the McBride's couch for most of the evening because I was sad about job hunting.

10) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
Me, myself and I. (Again, same as last year. Here's hoping for change in 2008!)

11) BEST RELATIONSHIP?
God and some very special friends.

12) WORST RELATIONSHIP?
Myself, I think. I spent a lot of the year really beating myself up.

13) FIRST GIG OF THE YEAR?
Partyin' in Ft. Worth with Meredith and the Martin crew.

14) LAST GIG OF THE YEAR?
Partyin' with my QSYS peeps. :)

15) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
I don't really take credit for this, but ending up at Quail Springs church.

16) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
It's in the Lord's hands. :) Nothing monumental... yet.

17) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?
Homey still don't play 'dat.

18) BUTTHEAD OF THE YEAR?
Uhh... hmm. I don't think I have a butthead of the year.

19) MOST LOYAL FRIEND?
Bailey

20) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?
I haven't left the country or been in the hospital in over a year! Holy moly.

Woo hoo 2008! I have a feeling this will be a fantastic year. I don't "tag" people, but if you choose to fill this out on your blog, let me know.

Emmanuel, an anniversary and reflection

Speaking of perspective...

Today as I made the drive from Oklahoma to Texas, I suddenly remembered that on this day two years ago, December 23, 2005, I also made the trip from OKC to T-town. Circumstances were much different then.

I was weak and fragile, having at that point endured six months of illness, two months in the hospital, and a major surgery. I weighed about eighty five pounds and didn’t have an ounce of fat on me, and could only walk a few steps. But I was alive. That trip home didn’t mark the end of my battle with my health; in many ways, the worst was still ahead.

But in this season to remember Emmanuel, God with us, I found it very poignant to think about how far God has brought me in two short years, in health, maturity, experience, and spirit. I have learned that there is a strength in me I never imagined-- not so much in my own spirit but in the Spirit of God within me.

This is the season to celebrate incarnation—God with us. One Christmas song that’s been on my mind lately repeats this chorus:

For the God who spoke is speaking still
And the God who came still comes
And the miracle that happened still happens in the heart that will believe
And receive the miracle of Christmas

The miracle of Christmas is that we have a God who joins us in life. The God who brought me through my illness two years ago is the same God and same strength that empowers me to live each day guided by His Spirit. God is with us.

May God bless you with fresh eyes to see and experience Him with you.

Timely Perspective

Recently as I was talking with a friend, I was bemoaning some of the things I feel like God has put on my heart to do. They shared some good perspective, and since it is the appropriate season, I thought I'd pass it along:

Sojo-- I feel like God's putting too much on my plate right now. I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Friend-- Hmm. Are you expecting?
Sojo-- :::pause::: Expecting what?
Friend-- Are you expecting?
Sojo-- Expecting? Expecting... a baby?!?!
Friend-- Yes.
Sojo-- :::shocked silence and incredulous look::: WHAT?!? NO!
Friend-- Then maybe God's not putting too much in front of you after all. :::smile:::

Yes, perspective is everything. I've never been left so speechless and tickled. :)

In related news, last night I read one of the most comforting single womandom thoughts. The book noted that all of the women in the genealogy of Jesus were single when they acted in the bravery and faith that they are known for. Rock on!

Let Your Light Shine Down

The Calmer of the sea
Here in this room with me
So gently welcoming
The weakest things in me
You are the blood over
The door of my heart
What pain You spared me from
How could I know it all?

Oh wonderful love, You died for me
The power of Your life is in me

Father, let Your light shine down on me
Father, let Your light shine down on me
No matter what the day or night may bring
Father, let Your light shine down on me

Oh Jesus, You became what was my deepest shame
That at Your very name
My calloused heart would change
How could You, oh perfect One
Love me, when I have done nothing that's worthy of
My freedom You have won

Open up the heavens
Poor down Your Spirit
Hold me God
Jesus, wherever You lead
I'll sing harmony
Hold me God

Father, let Your light shine down on me
Father, let Your light shine down on me
No matter what the day or night may bring
Father, let Your light shine down on me

--Bethany Dillon

So gently welcoming the weakest things in me... if that's not reason to rejoice in our God, I don't know what is.

ICE APOCALYPSE CONTINUES

In case you're wondering what the going rate is in karma for making fun of an ice storm, for me at least, it has been almost 6 days without electricity in my apartment.

Before you cry, wail, gnash teeth and pity me, I have been very well taken care of while staying with friends. The cat is also okay, although severely attention starved. My house's heat runs on gas, so she has not turned into a cat-cicle. In fact, it has probably been substantially warmer in my house sans electricity than in my office with electricity.

OC was pretty hard hit electrically and in the landscaping. Our administration, faculty, and staff really handled it all like champs, and I'm not just saying that because I work here. It was a really tough situation but they kept everything under control. (FYI-- For details of what happened on campus and the response, click here for a statement from the President).

I went to check on the house/cat yesterday, and it still amazes me how torn up my neighborhood is. I think we have a lot of older trees, and most peoples' yards are filled with limbs that fell or they've had to cut. I'm hopeful that maybe we'll get electricity today, but with the second wave moving in today/tonight/tomorrow, I'm not sure what will happen.

Just wanted to update you all. Stay warm and safe.

12-15 UPDATE

I have electricity in my house as of last night! :) Woo hoo!

ICE APOCALYPSE 2007

Hello all, from the great white north (of Texas, that is).

ICE APOCALYPSE 2007-- A survivor's tale

DAY 1

Yesterday morning I braved midtown's winter fury and make my way to the promised land, Edmond. Driving north on the main trail really wasn't so bad, since I never went above 25 mph.

After arriving, I went to the local oasis, Starbucks. I think that Starbucks loyalists will always go out, no matter rain nor sleet nor snow. And apparently I've become one of them, or at least have made acquaintances who are such folk.

Once refueled with my morning coffee and meeting up with a fellow pilgrim, we set out to find a local house of worship, which was harder than we thought, considering we live in the buckle of the Bible belt. Have these people no loyalty to the weekly meeting time??? :) But we found one that was hosting an "abbreviated" service. Apparently that means five minutes of stark silence (since when do CoCs practice contemplative meditation? heehee...), 2 songs, and communion. It was nice.

Then we found some vittles at a local eatery. I don't feel guilty patronizing a restaurant that is forcing it's workers to come to work in perilous conditions, because if nutheads like me didn't go it, it would be all for naught. We took full advantage of free refills and delayed going back into the ICE APOCALYPSE 2007 for three hours.

After we'd worn out our welcome at Chili's, we decided a movie was in order. So we braved the roads and went to my friend's abode to watch Just Friends; I highly recommend it! Good company, good movie. Great way to spend a "baby, it's cold outside" kind of day.

Just as the sun was setting I braved the trails once more to reach my surrogate parents' house near my work. They let me spend the night. After more wonderful conversation I settled in for a long winter's nap, only to toss and turn as I was wondering about the actual severity of ICE APOCALYPSE 2007.

DAY 2

An early morning email checked revealed work was indeed canceled, due to power outages on campus. Though at first there was rejoicing, it was soon replaced with the common sense knowledge that I would rather be at work then go through an ICE APOCALYPSE.

Thankfully, I'm still with friends and within walking distance of more. We have power, heat, food, TV and internet.

In all seriousness, if you're in this mess be careful. Only go out when necessary, and don't take any unnecessary chances. :)

Let's get a little bit Rowdy...

Awwh... if only Penny would be so cooperative.

He likes to wear clothes (so they say).

Jehovah Jireh

Ever feel like God is working to teach you a certain lesson? Well for the past few months I’ve been getting schooled in Jehovah Jireh—the God who provides.

Despite my semi-charmed kinda life, lately I’ve been anxious about some of the tasks I see before me, wondering from my puny human vantage point how on earth they will come to pass.

But God reminded me through a friend that my fears are not uncommon to humanity, and that perhaps I am, in fact, in good company.

Gabriel said, You're beautiful with God's beauty, beautiful inside and out! God be with you.

She was thoroughly shaken, wondering what was behind a greeting like that.

But the angel assured her, You have nothing to fear...The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Highest hover over you. Nothing, you see, is impossible with God.

And she said, Yes, I see it all now... I'm the Lord's maid, ready to serve.

--Adapted from Luke 1

Which then reminded me of one of my favorite songs:

Do you wonder, as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven, hold me together,
Be forever near me, breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven, lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness, for you are holy.

Breath of Heaven, Amy Grant

I'm starting to think that the biggest part of a life guided by the Holy Spirit is just showing up and trusting. But I have a feeling this is a lesson I'll be learning the rest of my life.

Thankful

For all you have done, I will thank you,
For all that you're going to do,
For all that you've promised and all that you are
Is all that has carried me through.
Jesus, I thank you.
-Dennis Jernigan

God is so good. I could sing of His love and grace forever. Here is an extremely abbreviated list of things for which I am thankful:

• Friends and family-- need I say more? God's unending fount of graciousness
  
• Quail Springs Church-- a place where I've found healing and freedom I didn't even realize I needed
• My connections group-- teaching me daily what the body of Christ looks like
• My new job-- working at a place I love doing what I enjoy with fantastic people
  
• Blood donors-- saving lives every day!
• My cat-- even though she drives me crazy sometimes, she loves me no matter what
• Learning new depths of God's love, goodness, faithfulness, and indwelling through the Holy Spirit
• Fellow pilgrims to share the journey on which God sends
• Lessons learned the hard way
  
• The broken road that led me to where I am today, by the grace of God

Christmas Miracle!

They've brought me such joy to help celebrate the resurrection of Christ, and today, as I perused the aisles of Walgreens, I found that they are now here to help me celebrate the incarnation as well...

Cadbury "Ornament" Creme Eggs!!!!!!!!!

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. :) God bless us every one!

525,600 Minutes

525,600 minutes
525,000 moments so dear
525,600 minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights? in sunsets? in midnights? in cups of coffee?
In inches? in miles? in laughter? in strife?
In 525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

Yesterday marked a year ago that I left Brazil. In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago, but at the same time I remember the joy of friends and heartache of leaving like it was yesterday.

Going to Brazil was one of the best decisions I've made, honestly. It brought me back to life after my illness-- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It challenged me and brought me more fun than I could have imagined.

I was worried that yesterday was going to be a bummy day. When I left Brazil, I was fully intending to move back within six months, so in some ways I feel like a lot of my feelings and relationships are unresolved. When I think of my beloved friends there I haven't seen in a year now, my heart still pangs.

But God is good. Yesterday I was able to spend time with some people I love dearly, and soak up the joy of being where I am now.

Every time I think I know where the road is headed, it seems to take a turn that I didn't expect. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. :)

It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends
Let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love.. Measure in love... Seasons of love!

Secrets and Lies

Secrecy versus honesty seems to be a current theme of my life that God is working on within me.

In telling my story like I did a few weeks ago, I was forced to confront many secrets I'd been keeping about my life-- many of them brought to light for the first time. To say that has been painful is an understatement, but it is also a victory over several weapons Satan has been using to manipulate my thoughts and beliefs.

Also, a mentor of mine recently challenged me to confront a "secret" I was keeping from a friend. I quote secret because that's truly not how I saw it; I would have admitted that I probably wasn't telling the whole truth, but I never considered myself being secretive or manipulative. However, my mentor wrote the following words to explain effect he's seen secrecy have time and again on relationships:

In relationships, unaddressed things gain power over time. Whether it's in relationships between people or the relationship between a person and the Lord, the enemy inhabits shame, guilt, and fear and uses it to erode an individual's usefulness to God and to destroy his or her joy.

I realized that by being afraid to share myself and my feelings, I was keeping the relationship on a superficial level and setting the stage for Satan to foster fear and manipulation later on down the road. In spite of every fearful natural instinct in me, I told my friend the truth. Honestly, initially it was hard on both of us, thanks to some severe miscommunication (which I firmly believe was Satan trying to destroy a relationship that glorified God). But we were committed to working through it, and ultimately it opened a dialogue that ushered in a new level of freedom, openness, and trust that I, honestly, have rarely experienced.

Since then, God has opened the doors and opened my eyes to the importance of honesty in several areas of my life. This isn't to suggest that we should bare our souls to every schmuck that walks by, but how many of us are truly honest with those we love and want to grow closer to? If anyone else is like me, they're afraid that by revealing their true selves and feelings people will respond with disgust or rejection. And at times that might happen. But God has used several people in my life recently to show me that honesty and vulnerability is a beautiful thing, and in holy relationships can reveal the heart and love of God.

Breakable

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

My office has wonderfully eclectic taste in music, and I was introduced to Ingrid Michaelson earlier this week. "Breakable" (available for listening via myspace) has been on my mind, because I've recently become extremely aware of how true the sentiment is.

For so much of my life I've struggled to maintain perfect appearances, oftentimes sacrificing vulnerability and trust with who I really am. Other times when I've let people into the deeper, weaker parts of me, I've been abandoned or used or hurt.

I've survived a lot and I am pretty good about keeping a happy face, so I feel like I should be tough. But really I am just as breakable as the next person, just looking for friends I can trust with myself, and of whose trust I am worthy. Some days are glorious, and other days dismal, but our vulnerability is what makes us real and human. We're all breakable, even those who appear strong. Maybe it'd serve us all to live more gently and graciously with each other.

Halloween-- A Review

2002-- Cowgirl (pictured with Ben T)

2003-- Ruth... see the wheat? (pictured with Amber F)

2004-- Boo, from Monster's Inc. (pictured with random Japanese child)


2006-- Cat feet (pictured with Havaiana sandals)


2007-- Geisha(ish) (pictured with Amy N)


2007 Redux-- Hermione

Conversation with a 5 year old

There is a very precious and precocious five year old girl in my life, and for privacy purposes I'll call her Connie*. Connie has an equally precious 10 year old brother named Jonathan*. Last night I was with Connie and Jonathan, and the following conversation ensued.

Connie-- How many babies do you have?
Ann-- I don't have any babies. I don't even have a husband yet!
Connie-- Oh really?!? Why???
Ann-- (flustered and laughing) Well I don't know...
Connie-- Is it because you're waiting to find a handsome, wonderful man?
Ann-- Yes! That's exactly right.
Connie-- Well how about Jonathan?!? He's a nice gentleman!

At that point I was about to fall over laughing. Poor Jonathan was probably embarrassed beyond belief. But hey, she's right. Her big brother is a pretty swell guy. Darn that 15 year age difference. :)

My Story

For the past month or so, our small group from church has been using Sunday nights to tell our stories. Those denominationalists might call it giving testimonies. :) Anyway, last night was my turn.

It's kind of a strange thing to have a captive audience listen to you tell about your entire life, birth to present. The only way in which it can work is within a supportive group who truly cares about you. All those who've already told their stories have shown incredible vulnerability and openness, and God has really been glorified through their triumphs and struggles.

So last night was my turn! Even if you've just read the blog over the past few years, you know that my life has had some ups and downs. It was difficult to remember and recount many hard memories, but also very healing and therapeutic to see how God has provided and worked throughout my entire life. The best part of all is that I'm so excited to see what lies ahead. :)

In case I haven't mentioned it, I'm so grateful to be surrounded by such an amazing cloud of witnesses who cheer me on and encourage me to follow the vision and paths God's put before me. Many thanks to all of you who have been part of my story.

Race for the Cure

Team Nickerson! Mr. and Mrs. Nickerson, me, Pete, Amy, Jen

Well we did it! Saturday I got up long before dawn and my buddies and I made our way downtown to Race for the Cure, although I called mine "Walk for the Cure", because I sure wasn't racing anybody. :) I was ok with my time, averaging a little over 15 minutes a mile. I was at about 13 or 14 before I got sick, so I'm alright with that. My friends really rocked it; both Pete and Amy beat their goals. We had fun, and I'm glad I went. I'm hoping I can be much more participatory and competitive the next time I'm in a 5k.

Finish line! (that is not any of our times, by the way)

Then last night was quite a treat. My beloved Bible class from church wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate my new job (oh, I haven't mentioned that yet, have I? heehee...). I got to choose the place, so we went to Cracker Barrel. I have been craving southern cooking!!! I am so blessed by such an amazing Christian community. These guys have cheered for me and encouraged me and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. And now they're so sweet to celebrate with me. :) God is good!

Sherry and Bob, two of the most servant hearted people you'll ever meet

Me, Auvrey, Kris

Tiffany, Amy, Rebecca

Tara and Ryan (in the baby rocking chair)

My cup is truly overflowing right now. God has been so gracious to me throughout my life, but especially now I feel just overwhelming gratitude. I believe I'm in a "daytime" of life-- when things are good and peaceful. I've been through enough storms to know that life was not meant to stay perpetually in times like this, but I've also learned to praise God and relish them.

Hold on love, don’t give up
Don’t close your eyes
The light is breaking through the night

Step out into the day, all the clouds and all the rain are gone
It’s over now
Step out into the sun, for you have only begun to know
What it’s all about
As the hungering dark gives way to the dawn, my love
It’s over now
--Bebo Norman

Sleep In For the Cure

I mentioned a while back that I signed up to be in the Race for the Cure 5k, which has so stealthly snuck up on me and is this weekend. I know that I'm not going to have the performance I desired, mostly because I have had a nasty chest cold for almost two and a half weeks. I feel much better, but my chest is still congestested and I'm wheezy coughy. So I will be walking rather than jogging. But hey, I'll still be out there. And I won't count this on my list of 101 goals, because I do have the goal to jog a 5k.

However, as I perused the Susan G. Komen website, I noticed there is an option for "Sleeping In For the Cure." Why wasn't I aware of this from the beginning? What a fabulous idea to show support and solidarity! :) Heehee... helping a great cause and sleeping in -- all at the same time! I like it. :)

So, since my wonderful friends are running the race while I wheeze along walking, I am looking for someone to walk with me! Send me an email at my first name (dot) my last name at gmail or leave a message in the comments if you'd like to join. Registration is $25 and can be done online here.

Then, on Sunday, a great medical missions organization called Predisan is hosting a "Walk for Honduras" to help build desperately needed medical facilities in Honduras. It will take place at my dear alma mater, Oklahoma Christian University, and registration includes lunch and a t-shirt. After lunch we'll walk around campus, then it's over! This is a great organizaiton that has done amazing work in the name of Christ, and if you feel called to, go on to the website and register or donate.

So, it'll be a busy weekend. :) Let me know if you want to join me for Race for the Cure!

Praise the Lawd!

more funny pictures

It made me smile. :) Maybe you, too.

Sunday... hallelujah!

Nothing’s sacred, the days are cheap
Truth is thin on the ground
Still our prophets are crucified
Nobody believes we’re stumbling
It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming

Someone’s saying a prayer tonight
For hungry mouths to be filled
Someone kneels in the dark somewhere
And darkness is already crumbling
It’s Friday, but Sunday comes...

Sunday... Hallelujah!!!
It’s not so far, not so far away

Broken promises, weary hearts
But one promise remains--
Crucified, he will come again
It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming

Sunday... Hallelujah!!!
It’s not so far, not so far away

Tree63

I love Sundays!!! And although this is not my favorite song, it is still the one that runs through my head as I happily think about Sunday. I know that's not exactly the point of the song (not really at all, actually), but I feel like God has brought me from Friday to Sunday in several areas of life, and as cheesey as it sounds, my heart really does sing that... "Sunday, hallelujah!!!!"

Here is an excerpt from an interview with songwriter John Ellis--

This song was originally titled “Friday (But Sunday Is Coming),” from the title of the well-known sermon and book by Tony Campolo. Its verses deal with the dark realities of our world, where the Friday of Jesus’ crucifixion acts as a metaphor for our experiences of those realities. As the Gospel stories clearly show, Friday happens, but Sunday is inevitable. Sunday is the resurrection, the day when all our meager hopes and wildest dreams come true, the day we as believers look forward to despite our present condition. This is a “hang in there” song; Sunday is not so far away!

If nothing else, I pray God fills you with hope for Sunday, and if you're in a Sunday phase of your heart, that you have a song to glorify Him for His faithfulness.

I am accomplished!

In case you haven't yet questioned your productivity and/or value to civilization, here's a website that can help-- Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age.

At age 25:

The future mythologist Joseph Campbell decided to move to Woodstock to read the classics for five years, nine hours a day. Living on very little, he would make himself readily available as a dinner guest.

I do live on very little. So maybe I'm close to achieving this.

Orson Welles coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.

Hmm... I've kept a blog for three years. I suppose I could turn it into a screenplay then star in it. I'll start on that.

By this age, Charles Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.

I think I'm going to appear in the background footage of a Dennis Jernigan special OETA filmed at the last praise night.

P. T. Barnum bought a "160-year-old" slave woman and began a career in show business.

I have no slave women, but think I do know enough odd people to start a freak show.

Janis Joplin made her first recording, "Cheap Thrills," which grossed over a million dollars within a few months.

Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly alone across the Atlantic, thus winning a $25,000 prize.

Fayette, N.Y. farmhand Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He claimed he translated the Book of Mormon from some golden tablets revealed to him by the angel Moroni.

Hmm... note to self... keep eye open for gold tablets.

Bavarian painter Aloys Senefelder invented the lithograph.

French engineer Benoit Fourneyron invented the first waterwheel turbine.

Activist Mollie Steimer became the first person to be deported from both the United States and the Soviet Union.

Heehee, I have yet to be deported from any country!

Physician Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile. As he collapsed unconscious into the arms of his trainer, the loudspeaker announced, "The time was three..." The uproar of the fans drowned out the rest of the announcement.

I have a feeling that I've missed the boat on cracking any four minute miles.

But I do think I have accomplished quite a bit!

Ann at 25-

I have lived on 3 continents.

I have studied 5 languages.

I have survived 3 major surgeries.

I have translated 2 books of the Bible from Hebrew to English.

I can juggle.

I have stood up for what I believe in.

I have accumulated the best group of friends in the whole wide world.

I'm proud of myself! Orson Wells doesn't have anything on me. ;) What have you accomplished that you're proud of???

My Chains Are Gone

Lately I have found myself really enamored with Chris Tomlin's music. It's a little strange, because for some reason he doesn't strike me as my "type." But he has some seriously good songs and great praise music. I feel like my theme song these days could very well be "How Can I Keep From Singing", because as I have mentioned, I feel like God has filled my cup to overflowing and I am incredibly grateful. His current single is called "Amazing Grace/My Chains are Gone", and is basically Amazing Grace, but with an extra bridge/chorus thrown in:

My chains are gone; I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy reigns--
Unending love, amazing grace.

I think it's beautiful. You know those awful shirts marketed to the true and dedicated Christians committed to evangelizing via over-priced clothing? I saw one that was actually kind of poignant, save for the dangling preposition. It simply said, "I am the wretch the song refers to."* It's true, isn't it? We've all been set free from the chains of sin and death through the amazing grace of Christ.

I love the complexity and depth of Derek Webb, (old school) Chris Rice and others, but I also love a simple and beautiful song of praise, too. I highly suggest Chris Tomlin. To hear the songs I mentioned in this post, you can go to Chris Tomlin's myspace page.

*Or, "I am the wretch to which the song refers" :)

Free Burma

I've been keeping my eye on the protests in Burma for several weeks now, and actually almost blogged about it earlier this week. But then as providence would have it, today is the international blogging for Burma day. It seems like a very small and trivial thing to do, but it is something, I suppose.

One of my all time favorite U2 songs, Walk On, is actually written and dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi, the leader of the democratic movement in Burma who has been under house arrest as a political prisoner for almost 20 years. The song captures the difficulty and power of love and dedication in the face of overwhelming odds. It could speak to many people who press on day to day for the cause of justice. These people inspire me to stand up for what is right, even if you stand alone.

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can’t sell it, can’t buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches, and your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on

Walk On, from All that You Can't Leave Behind, U2

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

Isaiah 58:6-10